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Does anyone have an 11 year or more space between thier children? We have a daugher turning 12, and a son on the way. Even though she keeps talking about how she wants to help with the baby so much, I really want to keep her feeling like this childs sister and not anouther parent. So although I have sent her to a week long "babysitting clinic" this past summer so that she can learn basic childcare, I keep trying to think of ways to keep this situation balanced. The last thing I want for her is to feel like a live-in babysitter.
Does anyone have experience with this large of a gap?
We have two daughters, about to turn 13 and 12, a son who is 5, and we're expecting in April. While we haven't experienced the dynamics of the age gap with our own children, I am twelve years older than my youngest sister. The relationship she and I shared was different from our other siblings who were closer in age, but it was so special because I remember so much of her growing up. I never felt like her parent, but I was a very protective big sister...now, she's in her early twenties and we are VERY close. I bet your daughter will be extremely close to her sibling and appreciate the experience much more so than a younger child would. My girls seem so much more excited this time around because they can participate, be there, etc. Best wishes!
Location: McDonough, GA by way of Charlotte, NC and my home NY!!!!
I have a daughter whom will be 14 when this baby is born! She has always been a mother hen since being a toddler...while we both shared the shock of me being pregnant lol I know she is excited! I too do not want her to think she is another parent though I want her to enjoy going to high school and being a teenager, she is definitely going to be protective!
glad to find this topic. My daughter will be 13 when this baby is born. She has been an only child for, well, 13 years I know she's very excited but I also don't want to make her feel like another parent.
She brings stuff up to me all the time like, 'is this baby even going to know me? I'll be in college when he's only 5.' and stuff like that. I'm going to do my ****edest to foster a good relationship between the 2 of them.
My youngest sister was born when I was 10 and my oldest sister was almost 15. While I was a 2nd mommy to her, I enjoyed it. My oldest sister wanted nothing to do with helping out - she had no interest in babies. So I think it depends on the personality of the older sibling. As adults of course we all get along great. The gap closes as they get older. My kids are 7 years apart and they get along 50% of the time, lol. My daughter helps out with her little brother sometimes, but she is not a 2nd mother - I let her be a kid.
__________________ ~ Sandy ~Proud mom of the 2 adorable children below :-)
My daughters will be 7 & 11 when this baby arrives... my 7 year old is super attached, overprotective, a total mother hen already. My ODD is like, whatever, tell th e baby I've got dibs on the bathroom every morning. I am interested in hearing other peoples experiences, I wonder if she will become more interested when the baby comes? I had a brother born when I was 10, I remember feeling like a protective big sister, not a parent at all... but i moved out of the house the day I turned 18 & he was barely 8, so I wasn't really close with him until recent years.
I think a PP hit it on the head, it will depend a lot on the child's personality. My DS was 11 when DD was born and he didn't feel like another parent at all. He did all his preteen and teen stuff, school, etc and played with his sister.
I can tell you a big benefit of having kids far apart is when I was sick when pg with DD and after she was born, that he was old enough to make his own lunch or dinner if I needed him to
My daughter was 15 when my son was born. I really hated it when people would say things like "you have a built in babysitter." I would inform them that I absolutely did NOT have a built in sitter! I never let my daughter babysit without getting paid or something in return.
That being said, when my son was born she wanted to do so much with her little brother. She was and is very protective of him. However, I was surprised that even with the age gap there is still a lot of fighting between them! They are 21 and 6 now!
Last edited by ryleighmom; November 5th, 2013 at 11:23 AM.