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Try looking into "birth order" too. Your 10 year old is the baby, and now she will be the middle child. Understanding birth order is a big deal. You can tell a lot about a person from where they fall in the family's pecking order.
we are in a similiar situation: ds is 14, dd is 12, and new baby is due in June! I also wanted a baby for a long time, but had to wait for a "better" time. Just about everyone we have told has asked us if it was planned. We are all pretty excited !
I'm scared of this happening to us! I've never been quiet in my desire to have a large family (if you call 4 large) but our families are the type to never really be happy when a new child is announced...
I have been asked this by friends and strangers. My sons are 12 and 14 and my daughter is 8 weeks. They seem a bit embarrassed when I say she was planned, but a surpise after 6 miscarriages.
__________________ Sandy-41 years young
Sons Noah 13 & Drew 15
Miracle baby Ella arrived Mar 22, 2013
6 losses at 4 to 7 weeks (feb 05, July 10, Oct 10, April 11, Oct 11 Feb 2012)
No explanation for losses
My littlest was very much planned. After sticking a thermometer in my mouth at 6 AM every morning for two years, facing the possibility of liquidating my life savings for procedures that might not even have worked, and then trying "one last time" after essentially giving up my dream of having another child, it definitely puts me on the defensive when people assume that he is the result of laziness, ignorance, and promiscuity and scold me for "forgetting" to use birth control.
My ex-baby was 16 when ds was conceived but he had the same issues your 10 year old is dealing with. Being the youngest in the family was part of his identity. He was also overly concerned about my health during the pregnancy.
Once ds was born, things changed; he adores his little brother and my only worry is that he sometimes tries to take on too much of a parental role and needs to be reminded that he has the rest of his life to be a daddy to as many children as he can take care of, but he only has this one chance to be a big brother.
I got this question all the time while I was pregnant with my son. My daughter was 15 when he was born. I really thought it was rude when someone phrased it as "was this pregnancy a mistake?" People are so rude!