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Warning: Run-on sentences I just got my 15 mo old to bed and I see my 12 year old in his room watching TV and I feel like I have hardly spent any time with him today and I feel bad and I miss him. Yet, I'm so tired and starved for some solitude that I'm sitting here typing. This is something that plagues me at times. My older DS was almost 11 when his brother entered the picture so we had years together of going places and having fun and spending lots of time together. Now it seems like I am either asking him for help or something and I feel guilty. He's really glad to have a little brother and he doesn't complain but still....he and I used to go on vacation together over a weekend at a time and even leave my DH at home. Does anyone else struggle with this feeling? Don't get me wrong, I love my toddler and he was planned and all, it's just been such an adjustment for all of us.
I totally understand where you are coming from! My ds is 10 and my dd is 1. I spend most of my time tending to her and have little time with my son. He is also very happy to have her and is very helpful. I think the worst part right now is that she isn't able to go into his room often because he always has toys out that she cannot get near. This secludes him even more because he is constantly in his room with the door shut. I also do not know what solitude is - I rarely get any of that! Guess I can look forward to it when I am old!
Thanks for the reply and for making me feel better. I keep telling myself and my older DS "this will get better when your brother is older and can do more on his own" . Hopefully in another 1 1/2 years we'll be able to take him to the movies and do more stuff. I know what you mean about the toy issue. My older DS likes those MAgnetix building magnets and I read in one of my parenting magazines that a toddler swallowed some of those magnets and they clogged up his intestines and he died. How awful ! So I've had to make sure my older DS doesn't have those lying around anywhere but it's hard to keep track of them. Your kids are beautiful by the way, that picture of them is awesome. They have the same eyes, don't they?
Hope you're having a good day and thanks again.
I know exactly what you mean. It is a major adjustment to have two children. It seems by the time I get home from work and/or school I am exhausted but I have a 4 month old that needs constant care. By the time I get her to bed it is almost time for the oldest to go to bed too.
My dh and I are going to take our oldest to Water Country next week. And we are going to make it a point to make sure we do individual things with her.
i've had to go thrugh that 3 times now. yes it makes you feel guilty but if you just involve the child in the new baby's life, even if it's helping bathe the baby, or whatever, it makes them feel important. even if, when you walk past his room next time, you pop in and give him a big kis andhug and say "i love you", it helps alot