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Forum: Widely Spaced Siblings

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  #1  
March 23rd, 2007, 07:31 AM
Mega Super Mommy
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Location: Belleville,Il
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Ok in May my oldest daughter Krystal is graduating from Junior High and yes is going to be in high school next year I can not believe it. Anyway my other daughter Kayla who is in 3rd grade is upset and doesn't think it is fair that Krystal gets to have a graduation at school and we are having a party for her afterwards. I tried to explain to Kayla that she will get the same when she graduates from junior high but she is still mad and acts out every time we talk about plans for the party. What am I to do????????
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  #2  
March 23rd, 2007, 07:35 AM
AnnikasMommy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Maybe make it a "shared" party in a sense. Make her feel included and ask her what she would like for graduating the 3rd grade. Maybe talk to your older daughter abotu getting a little something for the younger one. It is always hard to throw a party for one when the other doesn't quite understand why she can't have one. Let us know how it goes.

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  #3  
March 23rd, 2007, 10:11 AM
Kaypea's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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What if she gets to make a couple "big" decisions? like the kind of cake or colour of balloons? and talk to your big girl about it, she may have some good sugestions on how to include her sister. Good luck! please let us know how its going. My oldest is in grade 10 this year, it just doesnt seam possible to me!
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  #4  
March 23rd, 2007, 10:59 AM
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Thank you for the help and suggestion. I will try them and see how it goes and I will let you all know!
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  #5  
March 23rd, 2007, 11:36 AM
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Ok, I am going at this from a different approach. I would not be so nice. Acting out because the day is not all about you is not appropriate behavior in my home. Everyone has special days in their lives that should be completely focused on them and everyone who loves them should be happy and celebrate that. Some day your younger daughter is going to have a special day and she should also not have to share that with anyone. I notice that you also have a younger son. Imagine how she would feel if he would do that on her special day. If I was in this situation, I would sit her down, explain that in a family we must be supportive and respectful to each other and that by acting out she is being disrespective to her older sister. I would ask her to help with the planning, but I would not make it all about her. There is a huge life lesson to learn here.

This is just my opinion.
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  #6  
March 23rd, 2007, 12:44 PM
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Quote:
Ok, I am going at this from a different approach. I would not be so nice. Acting out because the day is not all about you is not appropriate behavior in my home. Everyone has special days in their lives that should be completely focused on them and everyone who loves them should be happy and celebrate that. Some day your younger daughter is going to have a special day and she should also not have to share that with anyone. I notice that you also have a younger son. Imagine how she would feel if he would do that on her special day. If I was in this situation, I would sit her down, explain that in a family we must be supportive and respectful to each other and that by acting out she is being disrespective to her older sister. I would ask her to help with the planning, but I would not make it all about her. There is a huge life lesson to learn here.

This is just my opinion.[/b]


I totally agree! Wait until they are older, one gets to drive, and the other one wants to, one gets a later curfew and what about the other - if you don't nip it now it really could snowball later on (imagine teenage years).
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  #7  
March 23rd, 2007, 03:51 PM
AnnikasMommy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Quote:
Ok, I am going at this from a different approach. I would not be so nice. Acting out because the day is not all about you is not appropriate behavior in my home. Everyone has special days in their lives that should be completely focused on them and everyone who loves them should be happy and celebrate that. Some day your younger daughter is going to have a special day and she should also not have to share that with anyone. I notice that you also have a younger son. Imagine how she would feel if he would do that on her special day. If I was in this situation, I would sit her down, explain that in a family we must be supportive and respectful to each other and that by acting out she is being disrespective to her older sister. I would ask her to help with the planning, but I would not make it all about her. There is a huge life lesson to learn here.

This is just my opinion.[/b]


I totally agree! Wait until they are older, one gets to drive, and the other one wants to, one gets a later curfew and what about the other - if you don't nip it now it really could snowball later on (imagine teenage years).
[/b]
I didn't even think about that. I can see where that can make things tricky later on. Maybe just include her on the party planning.
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  #8  
March 24th, 2007, 01:32 AM
LeeG's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
Ok, I am going at this from a different approach. I would not be so nice. Acting out because the day is not all about you is not appropriate behavior in my home. Everyone has special days in their lives that should be completely focused on them and everyone who loves them should be happy and celebrate that. Some day your younger daughter is going to have a special day and she should also not have to share that with anyone. I notice that you also have a younger son. Imagine how she would feel if he would do that on her special day. If I was in this situation, I would sit her down, explain that in a family we must be supportive and respectful to each other and that by acting out she is being disrespective to her older sister. I would ask her to help with the planning, but I would not make it all about her. There is a huge life lesson to learn here.

This is just my opinion.[/b]


I totally agree! Wait until they are older, one gets to drive, and the other one wants to, one gets a later curfew and what about the other - if you don't nip it now it really could snowball later on (imagine teenage years).
[/b]
I didn't even think about that. I can see where that can make things tricky later on. Maybe just include her on the party planning.
[/b]
I'm in complete agreement too! And I think including her in the planning is a great idea if she would like to help and be involved.
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  #9  
March 25th, 2007, 08:13 PM
Mega Super Mommy
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Thank you everyone for all your help. I know it is hard since she is younger and does not get to do everything her older sister does but I tell her she will have her turn when she gets older and then her little brother will be the same way. She is just hard headed already and I know I have my work cut out for me for the next 10 years or so.
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