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  #1  
September 27th, 2010, 06:32 AM
blessdmommy's Avatar Happy mama to 3!
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Are any of you former Christians?
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  #2  
September 27th, 2010, 07:37 AM
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never was any sort of religion here but i did used to beleive in god til i was about ohhh 14yrs old....i used to pray every night, read the bible (all on my own free will was never forced...grew up in a non religious household...yes both my parents believed in god...but they never talked about it....never introduced us to it...never took us to church etc...) but then a light bulb went off over my head after my grandma died and i realized....that i needed to give up that imaginary friend and grow up!
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  #3  
September 27th, 2010, 07:47 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by *Kiliki* View Post
i realized....that i needed to give up that imaginary friend and grow up!
That's where my DH and I are now. But we've been believers for decades. We both grew up in the church with Christian parents ect...We've been researching the matter together, for about a month. We want to know the truth and not believe in something that just makes us feel good.
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  #4  
September 27th, 2010, 09:15 AM
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I used to be Christian. I was raised Southern Baptist and in high school decided to attend a non-denominational church.
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  #5  
September 27th, 2010, 10:54 AM
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I was also raised Southern Baptist, though my parents were not hard core. We went to church more when I was little, but basically stopped as I got older. My sister went all the time in high school, I drove her most of the time, but I didn't go myself. Freshman year in college I realized that not only did the faith no longer make sense, someone asked me if I was a Christian and I realized I was lying when I answered yes. I felt awful about that lie for months, and decided almost as soon as the words came out of my mouth that I would never lie about that again.

Since then the things I have learned, research I have done, and people I have met, Christian or not, has continued to reaffirm for me that it was all fake. I even managed to convince DH over time. When we dated (met my senior year in high school) he still thought he was a Christian. He had just come out of a very Christian foster home and it was the only stability he knew, so it was a little harder for him to give up. Now he is more adamant about his non-faith than I am.
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  #6  
September 27th, 2010, 12:06 PM
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Did any of you ever explain your atheism to Christian parents? If so, how did that go?
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  #7  
September 27th, 2010, 12:37 PM
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With my side of the family (mostly still religious but do not attend church regularly), mostly fine. DH's family (staunch Southern Baptists) not so much. It's difficult because they are close with our daughter and spend time with her often so we have to address issues like praying, buying her bibles, etc. But overall not as bad as I thought it would be.
Welcome, BTW.
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  #8  
September 27th, 2010, 02:00 PM
blessdmommy's Avatar Happy mama to 3!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by melkissa2004 View Post
With my side of the family (mostly still religious but do not attend church regularly), mostly fine. DH's family (staunch Southern Baptists) not so much. It's difficult because they are close with our daughter and spend time with her often so we have to address issues like praying, buying her bibles, etc. But overall not as bad as I thought it would be.
Welcome, BTW.
I think my parents would react like yours...maybe. My dad might disown me. I don't think my mom would do anything rash though.
As for DHs parents...I think they'd be heartbroken, although they may react like your DHs parents did. As for them buying your daughter Bibles and other religious things...RETURN THEM! Ha! lol I think praying is something I could easily overlook...
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  #9  
September 27th, 2010, 04:41 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blessdmommy View Post
I think my parents would react like yours...maybe. My dad might disown me. I don't think my mom would do anything rash though.
As for DHs parents...I think they'd be heartbroken, although they may react like your DHs parents did. As for them buying your daughter Bibles and other religious things...RETURN THEM! Ha! lol I think praying is something I could easily overlook...
I'll be honest with you. If my dad was close with my kid(s) and I was worried he would disown me, I wouldn't tell him right away. I would slowly wade into just discussing it and then letting him know you question everything. My mom wasn't thrilled about it and she still mentions "I'm praying for you" or "I wish you'd get through this phase" but she is great about discussing it with me and knowing when to back off.
We were very worried DH's parents would disown him over it, but they didn't. We still haven't officially told his dad (it was him we were worried about) but we've hinted around it and I know he has an idea. I don't have a problem with THEM praying, just them trying to make our daughter pray. KWIM? I am teaching her to be respectful and bow her head while other people pray but she's not going to be praying unless SHE wants to. As for the gifts, I've given them away to friends that are religious. I kept 1 of them because I want my daughter exposed to everything, but I literally had at least 6 children's bibles from my baby shower, after having her, and her birthdays + holidays. It was ridiculous. So I did formally ask his mom to not buy her things like that because we already have a lot of copies and we'd rather choose which books to expose her to. It's definitely an ongoing battle though.
Plus we work out at the YMCA and they do a lot of Christian stuff with the kids. Songs, pictures, crafts, etc. but it's the only gym close to us with child care so we don't have a choice.
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  #10  
September 28th, 2010, 06:34 AM
blessdmommy's Avatar Happy mama to 3!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by melkissa2004 View Post
I'll be honest with you. If my dad was close with my kid(s) and I was worried he would disown me, I wouldn't tell him right away. I would slowly wade into just discussing it and then letting him know you question everything. My mom wasn't thrilled about it and she still mentions "I'm praying for you" or "I wish you'd get through this phase" but she is great about discussing it with me and knowing when to back off.
We were very worried DH's parents would disown him over it, but they didn't. We still haven't officially told his dad (it was him we were worried about) but we've hinted around it and I know he has an idea. I don't have a problem with THEM praying, just them trying to make our daughter pray. KWIM? I am teaching her to be respectful and bow her head while other people pray but she's not going to be praying unless SHE wants to. As for the gifts, I've given them away to friends that are religious. I kept 1 of them because I want my daughter exposed to everything, but I literally had at least 6 children's bibles from my baby shower, after having her, and her birthdays + holidays. It was ridiculous. So I did formally ask his mom to not buy her things like that because we already have a lot of copies and we'd rather choose which books to expose her to. It's definitely an ongoing battle though.
Plus we work out at the YMCA and they do a lot of Christian stuff with the kids. Songs, pictures, crafts, etc. but it's the only gym close to us with child care so we don't have a choice.
Wow, I feel like you took the words right out of my mouth! We've gone up and down with sinarios as to how our parents will react. We aren't sure when we'll tell them, but it'll probably be soon, as we're wanting to move closer to them.

As far as my dad goes...we don't talk much or anything and we live on opposite sides of the continent from eachother. I am seriously debating telling him at all..because I am afraid he'll tell my grandma (his mom), she's in her late 90's and I just see no point in worrying her, as she is very religious.
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  #11  
September 28th, 2010, 08:58 AM
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I was always sent to church, but from as long as I could remember, something just didn't fit. The people were nice and I could tell they believe the tale, but I just could not resolve the concept in my head. I remember being 8 or so and my mom decided that this particular Sunday would be the one where we "dedicated" ourselves to the church. Go up to the front and have it witnessed by the congregation. Well, my Mom and sister went up, I stayed behind.

We had a long conversation after that. My Mom was cool with it and no longer forced it upon me.
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  #12  
September 28th, 2010, 12:30 PM
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My father is Jewish, and my stepmother is Catholic. They never could figure out what to do with us, so we were left to our own devices, but we celebrated that version of Christmas that is so areligious pisses off the religious people, haha. We had a manger, but our menorrah was next to it.

My husband's family is probably expecting a christening for our kid, but my husband and I both think it's a load of hooey, so we're probably going to blame "she's Jewish!" for it. His family will be obnoxious about it. My family doesn't care, so they won't expect it of us.
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  #13  
September 28th, 2010, 01:28 PM
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^ Where I came from, everyone's either Catholic or Jewish too.

I grew up Catholic. I've known I was agnostic/atheist (this shifts subtly at times) since I was a young child. I tried to believe in God, but God (and religion) did not make sense to me. All I saw was people behaving poorly but excusing themselves for it because they were saved. What the duck?

When I tell people in conversation about my atheism, I usually don't have to justify it past "I was raised Catholic."

My biological parents don't take it very well. My mom threatened to have my son christened. However, my in-laws and stepparents are all fine with it. I've been open about it since I was young but I think the parents expected me to come around when I was an adult or something.

I'm really sorry, but I don't think people get to show a lack of love to a child and then say that it's ok, they're getting into Heaven anyway. And I don't think a child abuser gets to tell me convincingly that *I* have no morals since *I* don't believe in God. REALLY? Follow your Ten Commandments first, parents..
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  #14  
October 8th, 2010, 09:36 PM
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My mom *tried* to raise me Catholic. But she was your typical Catholic. Never went to church, except on Ash Wednesday, Palm Sunday, funerals, weddings, Quinceaneras, Baptisms, Virgin Mary's b-day and Christmas Eve. She never went to church for any other event. Not even Sunday Mass.

She never preached God to us, never told us this or that. Never even had a bible at home.

She always did tell me to "Fear God" tho. I didn't know why. I want to say I was 'smart enough' to understand that if someone of that greater power shouldn't be fear, if he's loved by everyone. But it made sense to me that the world is crap, considering we must live in this said fear.

My mom's brother was a Jehovah's Witness, and I liked their outlook on God better than my mom's.
But, everytime I went to mass, which was pretty much every freaking single day, I started to decide for myself that *I* didn't believe in GOD. Any God. Catholics didn't make sense to me. Jehovah's didn't make sense to me. They praised Jesus, but they killed him? Um, ok?

Ya.
When I was 12 I told my mother I didn't believe in God. I was Atheist. She kicked my ***...and I said..."If God was real, he wouldn't have let you do that to me" Proved my point.

Anyhoo. My mother still hates the fact that I won't baptize my daughters. She says they will go to Hell, because they committed the biggest sin of all...being born...AS IF!
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  #15  
October 9th, 2010, 10:44 AM
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i was raised fundamentalist baptist. i prefer to think of it as brainwashing. lol
we didn't cut hair, we didn't do halloween or dancing. etc etc
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  #16  
October 9th, 2010, 08:41 PM
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I've been atheist/agnostic my entire life.

My dad is staunchly, loudly atheist, though he actually kept that from my brother and me when we were kids. My mom is quietly agnostic. We were raised to do as we pleased, as far as religion was concerned, and I think this is because we lived in a rural community that is 99.9% Christian, and my parents didn't want us to feel like outsiders (I did anyway). I went to Youth Group with a friend for years, but to me, it was all just fun and fiction, like any other stories. I think I was about 9 or 10 when I finally realized religion and god weren't fiction to others. My little mind was boggled. Even at that age, I thought of god in the same vein I did the Tooth Fairy.

My husband is agnostic, but his family members all identify themselves as Christians. I don't think many of them know, but I don't much care. I would never hide it or lie, but it never comes up. And if any of them disown us...Meh. I don't care, but I don't think they would. The only people who ever talk about religion are my niece and nephew, and my step-MIL. The step-MIL would probably waste a lot of time praying for our souls if she knew, I'm sure, and I honestly think she would ramp up the Christian stuff around our daughter, whereas now, she doesn't say a lot.

We will be more vocal on our beliefs than my parents were. I want my child to learn all she wants to learn and experience all she wants to experience, but in the end, I don't want anyone brainwashing her into a land of make believe that extends past childhood.

Last edited by Squirrely; October 9th, 2010 at 08:45 PM.
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