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Maybe I was too harsh?


Forum: Atheist and Agnostic Parenting

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  #1  
November 13th, 2010, 04:35 PM
Indymommy7's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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So my 15 and 10 yo dds went to a football game last night with this family.

They invited them to a church they call "Straight up Christian." I was FURIOUS! Not that they invited them but because they did not ask me first. Heck even when I was Mormon I would always ask before I invited someone's child to church.

Of course I am the bad guy because I told them no. I mean, we have now distanced ourselves from a bunch of hurtful hypocrites, no sense in sending them to add more to our lives, right?

So the one dd in the other family kept asking why, why , why and I told my 10 yo dd to tell her "Because Chrisitians are hypocrites and we're a Liberal family"!

I did it out of anger but I feel bad now... Don't want to give "Non-believers" or "Agnostics" a bad name. Kwim?
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  #2  
November 13th, 2010, 08:03 PM
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We get that too. DS has a friend who wanted him to go to church with him all the time. He once without my knowledge. I thought he was just over there playing. Then one Sunday morning DS woke me up saying that his friend was outside picking him up for church. I told him that he couldn't go because (keep in mind I was half asleep) "only crazy people go to church" . He then when and told his friend and his mom exactly why he couldn't go
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  #3  
November 13th, 2010, 08:16 PM
Zanahoria's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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If anyone invites my kids to church, I will instruct them to say, "No thanks, I'm not superstitious." Maybe that's harsh, but so is trying to make my kid believe in their fairy tales without my consent. By the way, I got the idea for that terminology from my BIL declining a suggestion from my MIL to go to church for some holiday. He told her, "Nah, I'm not feeling superstitious today." (He recently confided in my DH that he's an atheist, woot.)
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  #4  
November 14th, 2010, 09:24 AM
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i dunno if i would be upset...per say...yeah it would irk me...but i would count on my child to tell me that they were invited and then i would def have the final say in what happens....now i would be furious if they actually BROUGHT my child to some church type thing without informing me that they did so
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  #5  
November 15th, 2010, 09:19 AM
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Probably what bothers me the most out of this type of scenario is that soooo many Christians make the assumption that others are Christian as well. That, or they want to butt in and 'save' you.

I would likely let my kiddo go to church with friends. I don't mind her having the exposure (especially when she's past the age of believing in Santa and the Tooth Fairy, and able to reason well), so long as I could talk openly with her about it. I attended many a service and youth group as a kid, despite having the most staunchly atheist dad on the planet.

If I were to decide my child couldn't attend, I would speak with the parents myself, or have my daughter convey something a little less insulting to her friend, such as a simple "We're not Christians, but thanks for inviting me."
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  #6  
November 15th, 2010, 12:51 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Squirrely View Post
Probably what bothers me the most out of this type of scenario is that soooo many Christians make the assumption that others are Christian as well. That, or they want to butt in and 'save' you.

I would likely let my kiddo go to church with friends. I don't mind her having the exposure (especially when she's past the age of believing in Santa and the Tooth Fairy, and able to reason well), so long as I could talk openly with her about it. I attended many a service and youth group as a kid, despite having the most staunchly atheist dad on the planet.

If I were to decide my child couldn't attend, I would speak with the parents myself, or have my daughter convey something a little less insulting to her friend, such as a simple "We're not Christians, but thanks for inviting me."
I think this is what we would do, given the church isn't southern baptist or really out there with their beliefs. Especially if she was 10 or 15. I would absolutely be upset if my daughter was invited to go without them asking me first though. I think that's rude.
Now, the only issues I have with your response is it did seem kind of rude and was a generalized statement. They probably didn't meant to offend you. Like Maggie said, so many just seem to assume everyone else is Christian too. But I'm sure they didn't mean any harm by it. I would have kept it at a simple "No thank you." But of course we aren't always rational when we are angry!
I have quite a few friends who are Christian and while I don't agree with their beliefs I don't think all of them are hypocrites. Some Christians may be, but most of my *close* friends are very aware their beliefs aren't logical and many don't think the Bible is literal or even the basis of their religious beliefs. They just believe there is a God. Also, I know quite a few VERY liberal Christians. They are mostly Unitarian Universalists but still.
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  #7  
July 29th, 2011, 01:47 PM
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If my child wanted to attend church with his or her friend, I would let them go. If anything the will become bored at the church services and never want to attend again. If they suddenly want to believe in God, I would explain my position and why I do not believe, but I wouldn't force my kid not to believe. They'll eventually grow out of it. And kids hold other crazy beliefs too such as monsters, the boogy man, fairies.

I would also make an effort to teach my child about other religious beliefs. And if the family was saying anything objectional such as "your mommy is going to hell" then I might not allow my son or daughter to hang around them.

I would be angry if someone took my child to church without me knowing. Just as I would be angry if they took my child to a movie or to a park with out me knowing. I deserve to know where my children are.
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