Log In Sign Up

Do/would you baptise? UPDATED


Forum: Atheist and Agnostic Parenting

Notices

Welcome to the JustMommies Message Boards.

We pride ourselves on having the friendliest and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment and register for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers. If you have any problems registering please drop an email to boards@justmommies.com.

Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!

Reply Post New Topic
  Subscribe To Atheist and Agnostic Parenting LinkBack Topic Tools Search this Topic Display Modes
  #1  
August 28th, 2006, 05:45 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 3,496
My family on both sides is extremely Catholic- most of them living in Southern or Latin America. They are very much "your child will go to hell without a baptism" type people. We've had all our children baptised- not because we believe but because we figure it's harmless, an excuse to see family we dont see often, and it keeps the boat steady.

what would/do you do?

Our youngest is not yet done.

EDIT: added new question in last post. If you had your children baptised and had another child but didnt want to baptise them, what would you do?
__________________
taking jm breaks if you don't see me around much
Reply With Quote
  #2  
August 28th, 2006, 06:00 PM
kadydid
Guest
Posts: n/a
Quote:
My family on both sides is extremely Catholic- most of them living in Southern or Latin America. They are very much "your child will go to hell without a baptism" type people. We've had all of our children baptised- not because we believe but because we figure it's harmless, an excuse to see family we dont see often, and it keeps the boat steady.

what would/do you do?[/b]
Right after my ex husband and I split, he baptized my two oldest boys. I went to the Baptism. His family is Catholic, so it was kind of the same pressure (for him). When I was a Christian, I didn't believe in baptizing little ones.
No one will care if Owen is Baptized or not.

I don't think it's a big deal if they are babies. I personally wouldn't but that's because since my parents and I stopped talking, I seriously could give a flying fanelli what anyone wants.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
August 28th, 2006, 07:38 PM
picklesmama's Avatar <;,><
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 22,604
I won't baptize my kids because to stand up in a church and make those promises would be lying. I won't lie or pretend to please those in my family who believe different from me.
__________________

Crissy mama to Jack 7.16.01 ~ Mia Bella 10.29.02
Angus Pickle 2.24.04 ~ Sydney Bean 10.26.06 & Kater Tot 2.15.09

Looking for fun lunch ideas for kids? Check out my blog: BentOnBetterLunches!
Reply With Quote
  #4  
August 28th, 2006, 07:45 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 3,496
Quote:
I won't baptize my kids because to stand up in a church and make those promises would be lying. I won't lie or pretend to please those in my family who believe different from me.[/b]
This is definitely the sticking point to us. Now, I got away with it because the mass was in Portuguese so I kinda just sat there like this: (jk)

But I wonder how we will talk to our kids about the lies we basically told. My husband equates it with holding hands during family prayer before dinner or letting them bless us before a trip (they always do this!).
__________________
taking jm breaks if you don't see me around much
Reply With Quote
  #5  
August 29th, 2006, 08:08 AM
kadydid
Guest
Posts: n/a
Quote:
I won't baptize my kids because to stand up in a church and make those promises would be lying. I won't lie or pretend to please those in my family who believe different from me.[/b]
You know, it's been so long since I have been to something like this, I didn't even think about the promises and things people say they will do when baptizing. Ya, I think you're right.


Quote:
This is definitely the sticking point to us. Now, I got away with it because the mass was in Portuguese so I kinda just sat there like this: (jk)[/b]
Reply With Quote
  #6  
August 29th, 2006, 08:55 AM
Number_3's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Western PA
Posts: 1,122
I have in-laws who are trying to ensure their seat in heaven lately and barking at me about baptizing my youngest Ava. DH and I baptized the older two just to please folks in the family and avoid making waves. Well it's 10 years later and I personally feel like you do about having to stand there and lie through my teeth to please people. I'm older and wiser and I don't want to do it. DH doesn't care, but feels it isn't going to hurt anyone to do it and thinks we should to get the pressure off.

I feel like this: I wouldn't ask any of his family to renounce god to please me...why the bloody hell should I comprimise my beliefs in kind? ~sigh~

I don't know that it's worth the battle and friction at this point in my life, so I may cave. If I do agree to it however, I made it clear that DH would be the one to contact the church and do the legwork.
__________________
<span style="font-family:Comic Sans Ms">Kelly</span>
Reply With Quote
  #7  
August 29th, 2006, 09:06 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 3,496
Have you been able to have an effective conversation with the family on the issue? If so, what points did you bring up?

I find that talk of logic or science is impossible with them. Talking about parental choice is also futile. I also tried once telling them that they could pray for my kids and probably use that to help them get into heaven .
__________________
taking jm breaks if you don't see me around much
Reply With Quote
  #8  
August 29th, 2006, 10:21 AM
picklesmama's Avatar <;,><
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 22,604
Quote:
I feel like this: I wouldn't ask any of his family to renounce god to please me...why the bloody hell should I comprimise my beliefs in kind? ~sigh~
I don't know that it's worth the battle and friction at this point in my life, so I may cave.[/b]
I wholeheartedly agree with you about not compromising.
I'm sorry you have to deal with a battle over it. It's your child, you should be able to say No and that's final, and that should be the last word about it. Stick to your non-beliefs! Don't let them wear you down - unless you think maybe there is some truth to what they believe - IMO giving in to them will send them that message.
But then, I don't know what it's like to have to deal with pushy relatives - Good luck!
__________________

Crissy mama to Jack 7.16.01 ~ Mia Bella 10.29.02
Angus Pickle 2.24.04 ~ Sydney Bean 10.26.06 & Kater Tot 2.15.09

Looking for fun lunch ideas for kids? Check out my blog: BentOnBetterLunches!
Reply With Quote
  #9  
August 29th, 2006, 09:29 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Pittsburgh, PA
Posts: 4,050
Send a message via AIM to Cassie Send a message via MSN to Cassie Send a message via Yahoo to Cassie
Our kids are not baptised, and I doubt they ever will be. Dh being Catholic though, if he wanted them to be baptised, I would go along with it. So long as I didn't have to convert, attend any sort of religious ceremonies (baptism aside), or do anything other than be present. My in-laws have really been pushing this issue.
__________________
Cassie, mom to:





Reply With Quote
  #10  
August 30th, 2006, 01:43 PM
Athey's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Bend, Oregon
Posts: 3,257
Send a message via MSN to Athey
Gosh I'm glad none of my family is catholic - lol.
They're all prodestants and luthrans, and DH's side is all Seventh Day Adventist.
__________________





Reply With Quote
  #11  
August 30th, 2006, 02:01 PM
NaynayPie's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Hiding somewhere in IL
Posts: 986
Send a message via AIM to NaynayPie
Dh was afraid we'd be given a hard time by his grandparents about having Ds (2 years) baptized but so far we haven't heard anything. Maybe I should knock on wood

~Nay
__________________
<div align="center"><span style="font-family:Book Antiqua">[b]I'm A
Natural Birthing, Delayed-Vaxing, Sleep Sharing, Baby Wearing, Tandem Breastfeeding, Cloth Diapering, Never Spanking Mama to two Beautiful, Healthy and Intact Little Babies
</div>
Reply With Quote
  #13  
September 4th, 2006, 08:36 PM
SchwarzeWitwe's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Knoxvegas, TN
Posts: 414
Quote:
I won't baptize my kids because to stand up in a church and make those promises would be lying. I won't lie or pretend to please those in my family who believe different from me.[/b]
Exactly.
__________________




Julian Marcus. Andrew Thomas. Michael anything.

Isabella Simone. Genevieve Amalia. Alexandra Katharine. Lucia Elizabeth.
Reply With Quote
  #14  
September 5th, 2006, 07:31 AM
smt smt is offline
Mega Super Daddy
Join Date: Aug 2004
Posts: 3,587
We were Protestant when our first child was born and had a "Baby Dedication". Let me give you a word of advice... don't make promises you can't keep. At the dedication, I promised to raise my child "in the ways of the Lord"... boy do I ever regret that now... and my spouse has been sure to remind me of that promise (along with our wedding vows that included similar promises). Now, my spouse is going to a Catholic church and I just over heard her talking to someone at the church about Catechism for herself, and baptism for our two kids. I really think the decision should be left to the children when they are old enough. It will be interesting to see how this plays out. The odd thing is, my spouse was always against infant baptism until she started attending Mass.
Reply With Quote
  #15  
September 6th, 2006, 06:26 AM
Dayna1
Guest
Posts: n/a
I won't be doing it nor my boyfriend but I told his Mom and my Mum if they want to get it done they're more than welcome too.
Reply With Quote
  #16  
September 8th, 2006, 02:34 PM
Veteran
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Montreal, Canada
Posts: 296
I won't. I'd feel like a fraud doing it, since i don't believe. And I'd have a hard time trying to explain to my child, later on in life, why he/she was baptized when mommy and daddy just don't believe.
Reply With Quote
  #17  
September 19th, 2006, 11:27 AM
Lilah's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Boston, Massachusetts
Posts: 14,078
Oh no, no Baptizing here. My family isn't religious though so there isn't any pressure from them. Of course, I have never given in to their pressure before on other things and I certainly wouldn't where my child is concerned.
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #18  
September 21st, 2006, 02:17 PM
Xtine's Avatar Hip Fresh & Famous
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 6,304
I will not baptise my children despite the intense pressure (not to mention anger) we are going to experience from my husband's parents.
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #19  
September 24th, 2006, 04:10 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 3,496
So how do you guys who withstood the pressure (or plan to) handle the situation?

For us, we have baptised our two older kids, but that means nothing to our family if they are not practicing the religion (thus they spend a lot of their time trying to "convert" our kids despite the fact that they are baptised).

They know that we do not plan to do sunday school, first penance, confirmation, or ANY religious stuff with them, including attending mass and praying. This leads to them crying every time we talk (usually righta t the end of the convo), endless emails and hand written letters, constantly talking about it when we see them (which is not often, since they are in central and south america).

We have not baptised our youngest (yet) but the ceremony was planned when I first made this thread. We have, just this past week decided we didn't want to.

However, I just received an email that seems to imply they are planning a ceremony for when we go down there in november, despite us telling them we aren't going to. I just wrote back they we do not plan to baptise Juan.

I fear for the results of sending this email.
__________________
taking jm breaks if you don't see me around much
Reply With Quote
  #20  
October 8th, 2006, 11:34 PM
GirLStaR's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: The fish bowl
Posts: 1,012
Send a message via AIM to GirLStaR
I am in the same situation. I have been so confused about religion in the past and honestly tried to give christianity a shot but I just can't ignore logic anymore. I told my mom Eric won't be baptized and she freaked out but now calmed down, but al my aunts and everyone that calles from Venezuela keep telling me "Andrea, tienes que bautizar a ese nino" (you have to baptize the baby), but whatever, I have my own beliefs now which are based on my own brain (not the Bible or anything like that) and logic and DH agrees with it and people are just going to have to deal with it. I know its hard bc people expect certain things from us, but DH and I were talking and since we were kids we were tought to do or not do everything for what others think, and we don't want to do the same with our children. We want to teach him (them in the future) to do things for themselves and not for others, and allowing my family to get him baptized would be like sending the opposite msg.
__________________
<div align="center">
</div>
Reply With Quote
Reply

Topic Tools Search this Topic
Search this Topic:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 06:04 AM.



Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0