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Forum: Atheist and Agnostic Parenting

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  #1  
January 12th, 2007, 09:46 PM
Thelittlemermaid's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2006
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I am really confused about what I should call myself. I don't believe that there is a god, but there are things I do believe in. I do believe there are angels watching over us and other things like that.

To me I feel people shouldn't put their faith into something they can't see or never have seen. That they should have faith in theirselves. Plus the deal with going to a building to worship and they ask for money just blows my mind.

My mom basically let me make up my own mind what I was going to believe. After my grandma passed away in 1987 {I was really close to her} she could see which way I was heading for. Then in 1998 my grandpa commited suicide. My parents came to my house to tell me the news instead of calling. After hearing the news, DH called his parents and they came over. As you can imagine I was really upset and pissed off {can I say that?} all at the sametime. My MIL told me that now my grandpa was with god, I looked at her straight in the face and told her there was NO god! Then in 1999, 3 months after my daughter was born, my mom passed away. My grandma, grandpa, and mom were good people and were taken from me. In their lifetime my grandma was a social worker that helped kids out. My grandpa would do anything in the world for anyone and did not deserve what happened to him. Something poisoned his mind, so where was god and why didn't he save him? As for my mom, she was a school teacher for 25 years and one of those teachers {which to this day I have not found many of} who LOVED her job! Why in the world did she have to be taken. When people start talking about god, I just sit there and tune them out. The bible is just a book, anyone could have made it up. Plus I was always told, you shouldn't believe everything you read, so shouldn't that go for the bible also? And why does god have to be a man? If god was anything, it would be a woman cause according to those people, god creates life. Well I have not seen a man to this date pop a baby out his *****!

As for my kids, I will let them make up their own minds, like my mom did with me. My DS10 has asked me questions about what I believe in. My answer to him has been, it doesn't matter what I believe in, it's what you believe. I DO NOT want my beliefs to cloud his judgement and he believes in something just because I believe it's that way.

Thank you for taking the time to read! It was really nice to find this board! I don't have anyone around me to talk to about subjects like this.
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  #2  
January 13th, 2007, 06:28 AM
Acadia's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 8,377
Well, first, hi mermaid!

Quote:
I am really confused about what I should call myself. I don't believe that there is a god, but there are things I do believe in. I do believe there are angels watching over us and other things like that.[/b]
I don't think there is anything wrong with that. I personally believe in ghosts, for one thing, and I think we might be (or some of us might be) reincarnated at some point after we die. But the difference for me is, nobody TOLD me to believe that. I came to that conclusion on my own by observation and reason. I have seen things that can only be described as ghosts (I was certainly sane at the time!) and I have known several young people who bear uncanny similarities to dead people I've also known. There are several possibilities I'm considering but at the moment I can't discount that one.

I also sometimes have the feeling of being "watched over", usually in connection to feeling that someone has lived before, or that a "spirit" is around. Sometimes I think maybe I'm feeling the universe itself, or time, or the connectedness among all those dimensions that are too small for us to see. Maybe it's the human spirit itself. The thing is, IMO you can believe in whatever you like as long as you have seen or experienced it, or found rational evidence of it.

Quote:
To me I feel people shouldn't put their faith into something they can't see or never have seen. That they should have faith in theirselves. Plus the deal with going to a building to worship and they ask for money just blows my mind.[/b]
Yeah, I don't get that either. I do have an idea that some things are real, but it's not a BELIEF. What I think can change as I gather new evidence. If I BELIEVE something, it's much harder to change ... and that's where you get into irrationality.


Quote:
My mom basically let me make up my own mind what I was going to believe. After my grandma passed away in 1987 {I was really close to her} she could see which way I was heading for. Then in 1998 my grandpa commited suicide. My parents came to my house to tell me the news instead of calling. After hearing the news, DH called his parents and they came over. As you can imagine I was really upset and pissed off {can I say that?} all at the sametime. My MIL told me that now my grandpa was with god, I looked at her straight in the face and told her there was NO god! Then in 1999, 3 months after my daughter was born, my mom passed away. My grandma, grandpa, and mom were good people and were taken from me. In their lifetime my grandma was a social worker that helped kids out. My grandpa would do anything in the world for anyone and did not deserve what happened to him. Something poisoned his mind, so where was god and why didn't he save him? As for my mom, she was a school teacher for 25 years and one of those teachers {which to this day I have not found many of} who LOVED her job! Why in the world did she have to be taken. When people start talking about god, I just sit there and tune them out. The bible is just a book, anyone could have made it up. Plus I was always told, you shouldn't believe everything you read, so shouldn't that go for the bible also? And why does god have to be a man? If god was anything, it would be a woman cause according to those people, god creates life. Well I have not seen a man to this date pop a baby out his *****![/b]
Yeah, you can say pissed off. I also don't understand why God has to be male, BUT we have to remember, that's just Christianity/Judaism/Islam. There are lots of other religions out there, and some of them have female gods, some of them have both male AND female gods, some of them have hermaphroditic gods! I agree that I would like to see a man have a kid, too.

Quote:
As for my kids, I will let them make up their own minds, like my mom did with me. My DS10 has asked me questions about what I believe in. My answer to him has been, it doesn't matter what I believe in, it's what you believe. I DO NOT want my beliefs to cloud his judgement and he believes in something just because I believe it's that way.[/b]
I also feel that way but I will tell my children what I personally think. When referring to myself, as I said earlier, I try not to use the word 'believe', since it has the connotation of unwavering faith and that is NOT something I possess. I have ideas. They change.

But anyway, I want to share my ideas with my children because invariably, they will ask why I do things a certain way and it seems only fair to explain. It's a genuinely curious question. And I'd like to take the opportunity to explain WHY I have come to each conclusion, to show them the proper way to rationally think things through. My DF does not have the same ideas as me (he is a deist), so he would also like to explain why he has come to his conclusions (and it is also rational, I must admit). So our children will be exposed to a few different views and they will hopefully learn how to find their own through that.

Quote:
Thank you for taking the time to read! It was really nice to find this board! I don't have anyone around me to talk to about subjects like this.[/b]
No problem.
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  #3  
January 21st, 2007, 03:47 PM
Number_3's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Western PA
Posts: 1,122
Welcome! Glad you found us
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