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I am feeling so sad today! Do you ever come to a place where you want to start life over? New friends, new location?? I never fit in w/ the popular kids in highschool.. I knew them because I was on the cheer squad, and they did talk to me sometimes, but it wasn't like they considered me a real friend you know??? Why does that have to carry over into adult life!? Sure I have friends, but they all have their *clicks* and there is no room for me.. They talk to me often, but that is as far as it goes.. I don't see myself considered to them as a real friend. It just makes me so sad.. I talked with someone about it and I was told this:
Instead of trying to fit in with those here (in the church) who are popular, look for those who are lonely like you and don't have a lot of friends... Well my self-esteem is so ###### low right now, that I push any *prospective* friends away... And it always feels like a competition.. I just don't measure up anymore .. Under all this displacement, hurt, rejection, loniless, I am a NICE person.. I feel I am WORTH befriending! I have a kind, tender, caring heart.. I'm a faithful and loyal friend, but it just isn't happening.. I just want to start over some place where people don't know me, or my faults/shortcomings, and would like me for me and WANT to include me in their life as well...
Oh honey....its a sad feeling. I totally understand where you're coming from. Its so hard to make new friends as you become an adult! Kids, husbands, work etc. Its nearly impossible to put the time and effort it takes into building new relationships! Then, when you do, it feels like you will never know them as well as the people they have been around all their lives. Its crappy.
Nothing anyone can say will make it easier for you. The only thing you can do is beleive that you are a great friend. If you beleive in yourself, people will beleive in you! People drift towards those that are positive about themselves and their lives and their qualities that they offer others.
With that being said, its still hard to make a true friend in the adult years. You will make many aquaintances, but true friends (and I mean TRUE friends) is not an easy task.
I would bet my left foot that you measure up to your beautiful children, your husband, your family and many of the women here on JM. Those people that KNOW what kind of person you are....they are all that matter. Everyone else, they're just missing out.
XOXO I have read many posts you have writtten and without knowing you....I think you are genuine, kind, caring and enthusiatic about your friends. You have a lot to be proud of I am sure!
Know what I say when women that I am trying to be friends with get snotty? I say....welll....something naughty. You can guess I am sure! Women are women....most are fine 1 on 1 or in small groups...but get a bunch of them together and HOLD ON! I manage a bunch of women at work....the best thing I did for my staff was hire some testosterone! It calmed them all down! CHIN UP GIRLIE! It will get better!
I hear ya! I have lived here for 6 years now and still don't really have "friends". I get so aggrivated with out supposed friends because they really just aren't dependable! I feel like I/we are the only ones that make any effort to keep in touch. I also hate how some of them are so disrespectful that they cancel all the time, or if they do hang out with us I am always the one doing the work (cooking or whatever) and then theyh show up way late! UGH!
I had a lot of friends off and on in highschool, but I guess I didn't really ever have a BFF throughout! I think of myself as a good friend as well, but I think some people just don't "get me"... or get the wrong impression sometimes.... whatever.... Its tough!
I'm sorry girl .. I hope things get better.. just dont let it get you too down! You have tons of us girls here as your friend! I know it might not be the same.. but at least you know we're always here for you.. and I for one will never reject ya!
I do think everyone feels this way sometimes. I know for a fact that I do. I'm a very friendly person....DH says too friendly at times, because I can talk to anyone about anything..... but I have very few "real" friends. And honestly, some of the people I consider "real" friends are people on here that I have never even met face to face, but I know that I can talk to about anything. It's hard to make friends, and I think it gets harder as we get older. I know that I have lived here for nearly three years and I only have on guy that I consider a real friend, and no other girls.
Just know that I might not be able to go shopping with you, go for coffee or catch a movie, but if you need someone to talk to, I'm here to listen. And that goes for EVERYONE on here. You can talk to me about anything, and I assure you that everything will remain between us.
to you!! i'm sorry you're feeling low!!! but remember all those things you said, you are a nice person with a kind heart!!! don't forget that. sometimes it just takes meeting the right people to call "friends". you can start over where you are. try to join an activity, or I took a couple night classes at our technical college to meet others. just keep trying!!! HUGS