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  #1  
February 14th, 2005, 06:43 AM
cab8971's Avatar Veteran
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I'm thinking about putting TTC on hold. Not because DH or I want to though. We just got a new truck Wednesday and now DH says ALL extra money has to go towards that as extra payments. And until the truck is paid off life, ie. vacations, etc. go on hold because we can't afford anything extra. I want to take a vacation in a year or so, so we have time to save for it. DH says no. I told him if we can't afford a vacation that's over a year away then we can't afford a baby either. DH disagrees with me. If he thinks we can't afford to get away from things for a long weekend then how are we going to afford a child? Like I told him babies are expensive. Nothing's decided yet, but I am tossing the idea around of putting a hold on TTC since he thinks we can't afford it. Am I being unreasonable?
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<span style="colorurple">DH (25)
Me (24)
TTC #1 since October 2004
Diagnosed w/Glucose Intolerance 4/1/05
Metformin 1500 mg
Normal HSG 6/11/05
Normal SA 6/17/05
February 2006 - 50mg Clomid

Furbabies: Allie, Sneakers, Taz, Misty and Cammy




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  #2  
February 14th, 2005, 06:49 AM
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I think that you know best as to what you can afford. It is important to look at your finances before you jump into ttc- but I know that there is almost never a time that you are financially secure enough to have a child. It might just be my pregnancy hormones and please excuse them if I'm being too nosy- but why does your dh get the truck that HE wants and commands that the things that you want can't happen because his things come first? If buying the truck made your finances that tight- then he shouldn't have bought it! I think you should tell him that this vacation thing is important to you just like that truck is important to him and that he is going to have to get over the fact that you are going to start saving for it. As far as putting off TTC- again I think that is your decision- if you want to wait a little bit I don't think it is unreasonable....

sorry I've been a rambler this morning!
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  #3  
February 14th, 2005, 08:11 AM
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Babies can add extra expenses but in my opinion you can sacrifice if you want a child. I look at it as well if we have a new baby we'd be eating out less, not going to the movie theatre, socializing, selling my motorcycle, etc. Also, if you can breast feed that will save money. Do you have any relatives that you can get some clothes from or baby supplies? I guess you have to ask yourself, are you willing to adjust your lifestyle? Just a thought. Good luck to you!!!
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  #4  
February 14th, 2005, 08:52 AM
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Well not to get your hopes up but there are several people that are close to me that always made BIG purchases and then found out they were pg. Example: My dear friend and her dh purchased a new house 1 mo. later she found out she was pg. Then 2 years later they too bought a truck. Should I say it....yes she found out a couple weeks later they were having there 2nd child. You can look at it either way. If it is something you really want I have always said don't wait. You never know what can happen in that waiting period. It is your decision & I hope that whatever you decide you will stay here with us but just something to think about!!!

I hope everything works out. I would save for that vacation anyways put a little money on the side and don't tell...If you do become pg then you have extra money or if you go on your vacation you have extra money or if you don't do either you have extra money to put on that truck. Either way you can't loose.

Good Luck!
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  #5  
February 14th, 2005, 09:50 AM
cab8971's Avatar Veteran
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Thanks everyone. That's just it, money isn't tight at all, even with this new payment. DH is just being a pain and wants to put lots of extra money towards it to make extra payments, which is fine. I'm just frustrated. I don't know, maybe I'm just trying to "get back" at him for telling me he won't take a vacation with me. Time to do some more thinking before I make a decision
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Amy</span>

<span style="colorurple">DH (25)
Me (24)
TTC #1 since October 2004
Diagnosed w/Glucose Intolerance 4/1/05
Metformin 1500 mg
Normal HSG 6/11/05
Normal SA 6/17/05
February 2006 - 50mg Clomid

Furbabies: Allie, Sneakers, Taz, Misty and Cammy




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  #6  
February 14th, 2005, 10:06 AM
littleangel's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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The only thing I can really add as far as money and babies is what I have gone through. When I found out I was pg with my dd, I did not have much at all, and things have worked out GREAT. Then when she was 2 my DH and I got married and talked about a baby, but he is in the Navy and we would move soon, money...and him going out to sea. i look back now and wish we had started then. My DH wants a new truck really bad, but I have told him to wait till we get into a house we want and after I get a bfp then we will start looking (he will need something bigger then) But I hope that things work out for you and that you are happy with what ever you decide I know it is hard and a baby does change everything, but I think for the better
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  #7  
February 14th, 2005, 12:22 PM
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Tell him you understand the truck is important to him, and that you agree it is a good idea to make extra payments. Also remind him that the health of your marrige and your future family is much more important, and he needs to check his priorities. It is important to have a car that is reliable, so the truck is good. But making those extra payments isn't absolutly needed. It may take you longer to pay off, but it is worth it if you get to spend quality vacations, and special time together. I think you should also ask him if his actions are in any way reallted with TTC. If he is having mixed feelings, and is a little aprihensive about a new baby, he might be creating obsticals that would make it harder. Talk to him and ask him if he has concerns that he hasn't discussed with you before. If he says he doesn't, then you need to figure out together, a way that you can both accomplish the things that are important to you. Let him know this is a partnership. Evan if he is the primary bread winner, monitary decisions should be made by the both of you. This inculeds baby, vactions, and extra payments on that truck.

I hope that I have been helpful. These are just suggestions, and I don't mean to intrude. I just think the cocept of an equl marrige is very important. just remind him that you are in this together.
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  #8  
February 14th, 2005, 03:48 PM
carolinagirl's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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well this is my opinion - if all extra monies are going towards a new vehicle why was the new vehicle purchased? There's never a time that you're going to be finacially secure ESPECIALLY for a baby/babies. Just my observation is that maybe putting off TTC right would be the best thing to do... but don't get me wrong if a miracle happens before you're 'ready' take it as a sign. GOD only gives you what he knows you can handle. But get together your priorities and find out which is more important - family or materialistic things. I know what it's like to want a new car but if it's putting a strain on things it might be something you'll want to rethink. Sorry if it seems like I am preaching - I'm not. I just know what it's like to want a family so badly and having to put that on hold!!! Good luck honey things will work out and you'll be a Mommy soon enough!!! (((( HUGS ))))
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  #9  
February 15th, 2005, 09:53 PM
_Brandy_'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Well, I think everyone else has some good advice.
There will never be a 'perfect' time.

Best of luck!
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