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  #1  
March 15th, 2005, 08:44 AM
zoey's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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When the baby arrives, did you need the most help that first week, or later? Im going to talk to my parents when something happens and see if my mom will take some time off to help me. She gets 5 weeks of vacation a year, so Im hoping for a week. Im sure she'll be so thrilled she'll do it. She's been asking for a grandchild forever now. (Im 27 hubbys 32 this year.. ), anyway, I want to make sure I get their help when I need it most. Im guessing papa- will come too
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  #2  
March 15th, 2005, 08:54 AM
CocoHunny's Avatar Foxxy Mommie
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to me i think the first month is the hardest that's when the baby is always crying and you got schedule feedings and so on.
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  #3  
March 15th, 2005, 08:54 AM
queenofthecastle's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I had c-sections with my boys and my mom always came to help me for a week after the boys were born. This time, my hubby is staying home with me for the first week and my mom is comming the second week. I would say you will need more help during the first week. Maybe you can get help for two weeks??

Angie
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  #4  
March 15th, 2005, 09:09 AM
_Brandy_'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Well, for me, I like that first week to myself (and my family). Also, dh takes at least a week off then.

My mom comes out after, anywhere from 2 weeks to a month after and that is perfect. We are somewhat rested by then and she helps with all the stuff that hasn't happened.

I would be extremely annoyed if she was here right away, I need my time!
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  #5  
March 15th, 2005, 09:18 AM
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first two weeks out of the hospital were the worst. Especially since I had 3rd degree tears
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  #6  
March 15th, 2005, 09:27 AM
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Alisteal,

I had 3rd. degree to with my first! It took the doctor longer to stitch me up than it did for me to push DS out!! Sorry! Way TMI !!

My second wasn't as bad. Glad it happened on my first when I didn't really know what to expect anyhow.

Tryingfor3
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  #7  
March 15th, 2005, 11:00 AM
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When my son was born, my mom and dad and husband were in the delivery room. My mom and dad live out of town so they stayed with my husband the first night while I was in the hospital. My husband wasn't allowed to stay in the hospital because I was in a semi-private room (there were a lot of babies born when my son was so I was in an over-flow unit with only semi-private rooms). Then, because the staff was so busy, I hardly got the care I needed to I begged to leave the hospital after 24 hours.

My husband and I brought our son home on a Friday evening and my parents stayed for dinner. Oh, and on Friday, nobody came to see me until about 2 in the afternoon. I was a little peeved, but I found out Friday night when I got home that it was because my parents and my husband cleaned the house top to bottom. My usual cleaning day is Thursday and since I woke up Thursday morning at 2am when my water broke, my house didn't get cleaned! lol I also came home to some beautiful flower arrangements my husband bought to say "thank you!"

Anyways, my parents went home Friday night and gave us the weekend to ourselves. Then, my mom and dad came back on Sunday and stayed for 2-3 days. My husband took almost 2 weeks off vacation. The first month is the busiest!
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  #8  
March 15th, 2005, 11:07 AM
Alice's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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What helped me the most was having pre-cooked dinners-- that you can do for yourself ahead of time.

But, if you're going to be sore, it's worse that first week. And you're inundated with gifts (translation: thank you notes) And still trying to figure out what to do and how to do it. So if mom is willing, I vote for that 1st week; maybe she'll freeze some meals for you for weeks 2-3??
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  #9  
March 15th, 2005, 11:47 AM
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Trying for 3- same here! TOoK longer to be stitched then it did to push my daughter out
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  #10  
March 15th, 2005, 02:07 PM
Blue Eyes 409's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I also think the first week. That is when you are in the most pain. Good Luck
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  #11  
March 15th, 2005, 02:18 PM
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My husband hardly takes any time off at all. Thats fine, he's not that big of a help anyway!

My mom came out 48 hrs after Grace's birth and stayed for 10 days. She came the day before Lily was born, and stayed 10 days after the birth.

Mom cooks, cleans, takes care of the child/children, and genereally does just about everything for me. I have to be able to cook dinner on my own before she leaves, though, thats the rule!
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  #12  
March 15th, 2005, 03:32 PM
Kristimomto2's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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In my personal experience when my son was born the first week was the hardest because you are still in pain, your tired and you need help sometimes adjusting to a new way of life in establishing some form of a routine.

DH and I are TTC #2 and when we do I have already asked my mother to take the first week off so she could stay with me and help out because DH works nights and the second week hopefully DH can take the time off work to help out and by then I should be more used to some form of a routine.

I think you should have her there the first week for sure (if you can get two weeks even better)
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  #13  
March 15th, 2005, 03:41 PM
Maddies_Mommy22's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Definitely at the beginning is when you'll need her most. Not EVEN because of so much pain, you can still function even though you are sore, yeah (that's after a vaginal, I don't know about after a c-section)... but it was good having my mom there because I was a first time mom and knew NOTHING about newborn babies.
I thought she was having a seizure or something when she made a little wimper in her sleep, or breathed funny while she was sleeping. It was nice to have my mom there to let me know it was normal and what babies do.. and what TO do. She had to show me how much powder to put on and everything. lol That is what I found most helpful.

Good luck to you!
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  #14  
March 15th, 2005, 06:05 PM
_Brandy_'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I think it also depends on your mom. Mine doesnt' like anything 'unplesant' so she is no use the first week.

Also, not all births are traumatic. For me, I was hardly sore at all... Depends on your birth.
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  #15  
March 15th, 2005, 07:02 PM
marie2001
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That was a really good question.... I've never been through it, but I've often wondered if you are in too much pain or feel too gross to want people around.... alll I know is when I am sick, I want to be as alone as possible, but it sounds like this is different...
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  #16  
March 16th, 2005, 05:03 AM
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I think that you are soo tired and overwhelmed to care whether people are around or not. You get into the grove of being able to tell people to leave because you are tired and are going to sleep. When my friend gave birth through a C-section I made a few freezer meals and brought over some homemade cookies to start them off. Also, about a week and a half later we brought over supper for them and we cleaned up afterwards to help. I think that any little bit of help is a godsend!

I am hoping that DH will take atleast 1 week off if not 2. He works like crazy so it's going to be hard to get him to take some time off. I'm also hoping that my Mom will come and help with the baby and I know that his parents/siblings will help too!
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  #17  
March 16th, 2005, 05:18 AM
littleangel's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I liked the first week when I had my DD (she was so sweet and just getting used to having a baby that I really didn't want to share with anyone) and I lived with my mom so by the 2 week it was great having help. I also had 3rd degree tears and actully ripped the stiches on the inside and had to go back and be restitched (that hurt, so make sure that you DON'T over do it!!!!) I was just busy lifting and setting things up, she came early so I was not "ready" and after that my brothers did everything else. But since I had my family when that happened it was a great thing because it hurt to even get up and so having someone around me all the time to help get the baby, diapers...was a really good thing. This time around I don't really care when people come I have just told everyone if I take the baby to my room that means leave us alone!
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