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  #1  
March 15th, 2005, 09:10 AM
zoey's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: MN
Posts: 3,835
Anyone decide to break away from past friends because they were negative, and not baby people?
We used to be pretty close with 2 other couples. The one couple is very much not into kids, and makes sure everyone knows. The other couple has toyed with having kids, but is not on that path right now. But that couple is the type thats always better than everyone else. And LOVES to talk about everyone behind everyones back.
Anyway, I didn't want their negativeness (is that a word? LOL) around me, and we had a disagreement and I haven't spoke with them much since. Now I don't want them to find out if we get prego. I just don't want any bad vibes coming are way.
Anyone else go through that?
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  #2  
March 15th, 2005, 09:16 AM
_Brandy_'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Fort McMurray, AB, Canada
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When we had our first that happened to us. They were still into partying and we weren't...
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  #3  
March 15th, 2005, 09:27 AM
KitKat
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The opposite happened to me. We broke off a friendship with a couple who had a baby. Not because we weren't excited about it... quite the opposite. But once they had a baby they kept pushing us to do the same... when we made it quite clear that we were and had been trying but it just wasn't happening to us... we started getting all this information about infertility and adoption in the mail. They wouldn't leave us alone about it and we wanted to do it our own way. In our own time. It was a very private and personal (not to mention sad) issue with us and the fact that they kept pushing us eventually drove a wedge through the friendship.
It was really none of thier business how we went about trying to have a child.
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  #4  
March 15th, 2005, 09:38 AM
zoey's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: MN
Posts: 3,835
Thats annoying! Before we decided to try we found it really annoying when everyone would ask. Co-workers are the worst! They wouldn't stop bugging. "So you've been married for a while now, you planning on having kids?" And they wouldn't give up either! Oh and when a Baby would be in the office, it was so annoying, they would rush to tell me, and they'd about put the baby in my cube for me to hold it. I never felt comfortable holding them either. It was like they figured if I saw someone else's Id want one. That never worked for me.
For something so personal you'd think people would be scared to ask. What if we had been tring and it wasn't working and I burst out crying at work. Ya know? Thats not the case, but I never felt comfortable asking people that type of personal stuff.
When I worked there I always told people "no, we aren't having kids", at that time I didn't want to. Weird how that changes!
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  #5  
March 15th, 2005, 12:43 PM
homemakermommy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 8,018
I have a friend that I was friends with since high school. She was one grade ahead of me and married her high school sweet heart. I had my daughter right after I graduated high school (not planned but happy none the less) and she had no intention of having kids. We stayed friends for a while after my dd was born but it was kind of difficult. She was never one to go to the mall with me and my daughter she was the type that wanted to go out with her and I alone and it was not the easiest to get a babysitter. She also had a hard time understanding that the money was not always available for me to do that I was just 18 (i had her a wk before I turned 18) and did not have alot of $ and any money I did have went to my dds needs. Eventually the friendship became too much work and I slowly stopped seeing her. When my second daughter was born I was still not talking to her. A yr later my older sister (they were in the same class) went to her highschool reunion and ran into her and she asked my sister to give me her number. I called her and we are friends again. We still only go out alone without kids (she still does not have any) but my life is more settled now and money is no longer an issue and my sisters are older and able to babysit now so it is not so difficult. Just a wk ago she told me she went to see her gyn about getting preggo and they advised her to lose some weight before ttc. So now I am supporting her through that and when she does have a baby we will probably get even closer. We were just at such different points in our life back then.
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  #6  
March 15th, 2005, 01:37 PM
~*kath*~'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 12,817
A lot of my friends are at the same stage I am now. My best friend who I have been friends with since we were 4 is excited for me, but I know we won't remain as close. She will still be in University an hour away for 5 more years,,,, so we are going to slowly have nothing in common I'm sure.
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  #7  
March 15th, 2005, 01:41 PM
cab8971's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Grand Rapids, MI
Posts: 323
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My friend and I stopped seeing each other shortly after she had her first daughter because I was the one who wanted to go out, no kids, just us and do what we wanted (She was 18, I was 17). It wasn't until her daughter was almost 3 that we started contacting each other again. She (she's now 24) has now gone on and had 2 more daughters (1 is my goddaughter). It is still so hard for me to see her knowing she can get preggo at the drop of a hat when I'm obviously having problems. I'm hoping we can get even closer once I'm able to have my baby.
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