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It is just really hard. Me and my hubby had a miscarriage in 2009 and have waited to ttc until this month. In between every one of our friends have come up pregnant or just had a baby. At our weekly BBQs the men sit and BBQ an the women chat with their babies and it seems all at once they get up to change their babies diapers and such and I then am sitting Alone feeling like I fit in more with the guys more than the girls but of course the guys want their "guy time" so I just sit waiting for their return. Each week it's alittle harder and frustrating. I dot hold their babies which seems mean because I'm so happy for them. I just can't help feeling like that's supposed to be me and my husband and to top it all off another friend announced their pregnancy last week...maybe I should go MIA till I've conceived!!!
I have a friend who is due later this month. We started TTC around the same time and it was fun for a little while to be able to share what we were doing, etc. She got her BFP 3 months after she and her DH started TTC. I'm super happy for her, and she's been trying to be really careful around me, but it's still hard for her. This is their first and so she's excited of course. Our other two friends each have two young children. None of these women have ever had a miscarriage...so they keep on talking about baby stuff right in front of me. It's partly my fault because I've never said anything. I don't want to ruin it for the one friend. This is her time...mine will come. It doesn't make it any easier though. I told DH that I think I need to take a break from ladies night though. I always come home super depressed.
I totally understand feeling jealous and it being hard to cope with others around you who are pregnant. I reciently experienced this when my sister became pregnant in Feb. What I dont like is when people start putting down those who are pregnant by saying they dont deserve it, cant afford it, are too young ect. Now I agree that people who dont want or care about the baby, or are using drugs or in a very distructive relationship or dangerous situation than it is probably not best for them to have a child at that time. So long as the baby is braught into a safe, loving environment, with support I believe all women deserve a child equally and it should not matter who has the highest income, best education, biggest house, who is oldest. While I believe in giving our children the best we can, just because we dont have the best doesnt take away a woman's desire and love for a child. Some great people are born out of very poor family and to be honest some of the rudest, brattyest, most miserable kids come from some of the richest families. I just really dont like hearing people judge who deserves a child or not. I see this so often on forums. It makes me think back to when I was pregnant at 18 and 23. It makes me wonder if all the older women out there were thinking bad of me too. I mean I know a lot of us here had children when we were quite young and probably not the best prepared also. Even though I was a young mother and needed some assistance I was a dang good mother. I never went out. I was there with my kids every single day, taking care of them and when I worked they were always with family who loved to take care of them. God never said that you must have so much to have a child. He did say that if you need help or assistance that is ok, but when you are doing better than you should go back and assist others in need in return. A while ago I was rude to someone and judged them and thought they shouldnt have a child, I also critized my sister for using donor to have a child. Than I realized its all out of jealousy. I asked God to change my heart. Now several months later I never feel jealous towards other women and God has made it clear to me that children are not about the things of this world. If a child is wanted and loved than the parents deserve to have that child as much as anyone else.
Me(35) DS(12) DS(14)
Last edited by ~ Nicole ~; April 8th, 2011 at 02:38 PM.