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how do you cope with PG friends?


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  #1  
March 28th, 2011, 10:39 AM
nikki52687's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 685
I found out about 3 weeks ago that my one friend is pg, she was very obnoxious about telling me, like rubbing it in my face. I had a hard time with it, so I was talking to another friend about it, and how i was upset because of the way that she was acting and that we have been trying for so long with no luck and they werent trying, they arent even together, they were just having a couple random nights together with pull out sex and got pregnant.

Today, the friend I was talking to told me, (in a much nicer way) that she is pregnant. They have been casually trying for like 2 years, so I am happy fr them, and not nearly as hurt because she took my feelings into consideration. But still I am having a hard time with pregnant friends

DH has said we are going to boycott any friends that get pregnant before us While it sounds like a good plan, it just wonldnt be helpful anyway, lol, haha, he is funny.

Does it bother you guys when you find out your friends are expecting? Or am I just being dumb?
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Thanks JMC1988 for the great siggy!
Our TTC journey: I went off the pill April 10, 2010. I have had irregular cycles ever since. We have tried everything from soy isoflavones, fertili tea, fertil aid for both, sperm count and motility boost for DH, femera, relaxing, giving up...no luck. SA 06/2011-5mil, 05/2012-no live sperm, 07/2012-17mil!! HSG 7/25/12, all clear. Next cycle, Femara 3-7, scan cd 11, 5 follies 17, 12, 12, 11, 10, trigger cd 12, IUI (8/30/12) cd14: BFN, AF showed 9/13/12 -On to cycle 2 with medication and IUI. 9/28 quit groqing, cycle cancelled. 2/6/13 follistim cd 3-12, follies 19, 18, 17, 12, count 1.7 mil, BFN. Skipping this cycle.

http://nikki52687.blogspot.com/ Donate to our IVF fund here: http://www.gofundme.com/210zuw
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  #2  
March 28th, 2011, 10:55 AM
SAHM_To_2's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 3,527
Grinning and bearing it!
having an extremly hard time. When my bff and i were preg together we talked about stuff every single day. Now she's preg (27 weeks today) and it's hard to talk about, and i find I probably come off weird cuz I dont even tihnk to talk about it or ask her how she is.. our closeless is gone.. she has another friend who's preg right now so now they do the daily " how are you feleing" "are you having "x" symptom"..

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  #3  
March 28th, 2011, 02:03 PM
Spyctre's Avatar Arwen
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Freaking Louisiana
Posts: 7,618
I am just glad that most of my friends are far enough away that I don't see them in person too often. So when they get pregnant, I don't have to deal with it!
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  #4  
March 28th, 2011, 02:59 PM
nichol's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Texas
Posts: 701
I haven't had any friends pop up preg, but a lot of cousins have. One is single and even asked if we would take the baby "until she got on her feet" (it was like salt on an open wound) All of them are single and were accidents. One is even in highschool. It's rough hearing and seeing it but I just try to take it with stride and keep telling myself, mine will be here when it's my turn. DH says he can tell I'm choking back tears whenever I hear someone else is preg. It is really hard but then I think back when I was pregnant with DS I was in line at the grocery store and the woman behind me burst into tears and ran out. Her mother apologized to me and explained it was because she had been ttc for a long time. So, I guess I try to see it as full circle. Praying my time will come too!
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  #5  
March 28th, 2011, 03:01 PM
MarinaAndCharlie'sMommy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Louisville, KY
Posts: 7,706
I just try to tell myself that I will be next... I'm surrounded by fertile myrtles and it gets so hard sometimes.
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  #6  
March 28th, 2011, 03:32 PM
WhoaMomma!'s Avatar Danielle
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Northern Virginia
Posts: 8,446
While we haven't been TTC like you guys have, we were waiting for our financial situation to be stable enough for another baby. We both wanted one SO BADLY and it seemed like everybody was getting Pregnant while we couldn't. I am so happy for my preggo friends and I like shopping for baby things and talking about babies with them. The only ones that made me upset were the people who either had no business having a baby and got pregnant anyway or the women who complained about being pregnant. The first just made me MAD bc I was being responsible and they just relied on charity and got to do whatever they wanted. The second group I wanted to slap. I told a lady at my work: "I would take your morning sickness and swollen ankles in a heartbeat. Why don't you shut up and be grateful for your miracle from God". Everyone else thought I was rude but I thought it needed to be said!
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  #7  
March 28th, 2011, 05:03 PM
gemipisces's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 516
Quote:
Originally Posted by WhoaMomma! View Post
The only ones that made me upset were the people who either had no business having a baby and got pregnant anyway or the women who complained about being pregnant. The first just made me MAD bc I was being responsible and they just relied on charity and got to do whatever they wanted. The second group I wanted to slap. I told a lady at my work: "I would take your morning sickness and swollen ankles in a heartbeat. Why don't you shut up and be grateful for your miracle from God". Everyone else thought I was rude but I thought it needed to be said!
You go girl!!! It REALLY gets to me sometimes on those ones you mentioned about not being able to afford one or plan on having one that "turn up" pg and then complain about it like they couldn't possibly understand WHY this happened to them?!?!?!?!?!?!
Really.......?
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Me-28
Dh-38
Secondary Infertility
First round of Clomid 50mg 2/13/12
+OPK 2/28
AF 3/17/12
Second Round Clomid 100mg 3/19/12
AF 4/19/12
Third round Clomid 100mg 4/21/12
+OPK 5/1 and 5/2
5/2 22mm follicle left ovary
O suspected on 5/4!
Skipped a month to renew the uterine lining.
Fourth Clomid 50mg
BFP!!! 7/19/12 8dpo!!

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  #8  
March 28th, 2011, 05:27 PM
WrightWife's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Marietta, GA
Posts: 1,493
This has been hard for me for a long time. DH and I have been married for 9.5 years, but just started ttc in july. I have wanted to have babies with him from day one, but although he wanted children as well, he wasn't ready until recently. I have sat back and watched countless friends and family members get pregnant time and time again. I hated seeing my friends get married and then one year later pop up pregnant, but I knew my time would come. Now that we are finally ttc, its taken much longer than I thought for a bfp and my friends all have kids that are a few years old. My best friend has a 19 month old and is trying for number 2. we are only 2 days apart on our clomid cycles and although I will be VERY happy for her if she gets pregnant before me, it will be very painful.
Some days it seems that everyone I see is pregnant. Especially at the restaurant. I have had days where I request to manage the kitchen instead of the front because every table either has a pregnant woman or newborn sitting at it. I don't think there is anything we can really do about these feelings except know that one day we will be holding our own little miracles - but right now that doesn't help. Just remember this feeling when you do finally get pregnant and try to enjoy every second of being pregnant...right down to horrible morning sickness. I would kill for morning sickness right now!
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  #9  
March 28th, 2011, 05:46 PM
SAHM_To_2's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 3,527
One thing to tip the scales positive.. They do say if you spend time aorund new babies, your body readies itself for one.. and pg happens easier...
I dunno if thats true or not tho!
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  #10  
March 28th, 2011, 06:16 PM
Veteran
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 153
it's really hard to deal with but i put on a smile and say congrats. DHs siblings pop up PG all the and after i yell and say are you kidding me again!! i cry a bit and then i'm ok. it really sucks to working at a drs office and seeing all these girls come in to confirm pregnancy and even more the ones that are coming in for a follow up after discontinuing the pregnancy. I just keep thinking my day will come it's just taking it's sweet time lol
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  #11  
March 28th, 2011, 06:46 PM
nikki52687's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 685
Well I work in the infant room at a daycare, just started last month....so maybe it will help, lol.
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Thanks JMC1988 for the great siggy!
Our TTC journey: I went off the pill April 10, 2010. I have had irregular cycles ever since. We have tried everything from soy isoflavones, fertili tea, fertil aid for both, sperm count and motility boost for DH, femera, relaxing, giving up...no luck. SA 06/2011-5mil, 05/2012-no live sperm, 07/2012-17mil!! HSG 7/25/12, all clear. Next cycle, Femara 3-7, scan cd 11, 5 follies 17, 12, 12, 11, 10, trigger cd 12, IUI (8/30/12) cd14: BFN, AF showed 9/13/12 -On to cycle 2 with medication and IUI. 9/28 quit groqing, cycle cancelled. 2/6/13 follistim cd 3-12, follies 19, 18, 17, 12, count 1.7 mil, BFN. Skipping this cycle.

http://nikki52687.blogspot.com/ Donate to our IVF fund here: http://www.gofundme.com/210zuw
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  #12  
March 28th, 2011, 06:50 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 867
Yeah it always stings a little. Like others said, it is always those that have no business having babies that bothers me. For some reason it always makes me feel better to go shopping for the new babies on the way (I love baby shopping)!
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  #13  
March 28th, 2011, 07:00 PM
nikki52687's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 685
Yeah I was really annoyed, kinda angry with the first friend a couple weeks ago....she has an 8 year old she had when she was 16. She (and the father of this baby who also has a child from before) have not been the greatest parents. They have had their kids at houses where there were parties and had people over at night and had parties, and a couple years ago there were even drugs involved. I told her she was going to lose her son, and her reply was, "it might be good for us to get a break from each other for a while" I was SO angry. Since then it seems they have settled down, but they have split up, still live together, it is just a crazy situation...and my husband and I who are stable, good parents have been trying for a year. She knew too and she called me and was like, "GUESS WHATT!!!!!!" and she was like all bragging about it, it was hard. Then she asked me to go to her appt with her, i did, and smiled the whole time, but it was so hard seeing that little heartbeat
__________________
Thanks JMC1988 for the great siggy!
Our TTC journey: I went off the pill April 10, 2010. I have had irregular cycles ever since. We have tried everything from soy isoflavones, fertili tea, fertil aid for both, sperm count and motility boost for DH, femera, relaxing, giving up...no luck. SA 06/2011-5mil, 05/2012-no live sperm, 07/2012-17mil!! HSG 7/25/12, all clear. Next cycle, Femara 3-7, scan cd 11, 5 follies 17, 12, 12, 11, 10, trigger cd 12, IUI (8/30/12) cd14: BFN, AF showed 9/13/12 -On to cycle 2 with medication and IUI. 9/28 quit groqing, cycle cancelled. 2/6/13 follistim cd 3-12, follies 19, 18, 17, 12, count 1.7 mil, BFN. Skipping this cycle.

http://nikki52687.blogspot.com/ Donate to our IVF fund here: http://www.gofundme.com/210zuw
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  #14  
March 28th, 2011, 07:08 PM
nikki52687's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 685
Quote:
Originally Posted by ARMommy View Post
Yeah it always stings a little. Like others said, it is always those that have no business having babies that bothers me. For some reason it always makes me feel better to go shopping for the new babies on the way (I love baby shopping)!
haha...get a load of this...my daughters real father and his wife had a baby in december, and i have let her pick out a few outfits for the new baby...lol, most think I am crazy, but the truth is, he will always be here brother, so i should get used to it now, that and I love baby shopping too, lol.
__________________
Thanks JMC1988 for the great siggy!
Our TTC journey: I went off the pill April 10, 2010. I have had irregular cycles ever since. We have tried everything from soy isoflavones, fertili tea, fertil aid for both, sperm count and motility boost for DH, femera, relaxing, giving up...no luck. SA 06/2011-5mil, 05/2012-no live sperm, 07/2012-17mil!! HSG 7/25/12, all clear. Next cycle, Femara 3-7, scan cd 11, 5 follies 17, 12, 12, 11, 10, trigger cd 12, IUI (8/30/12) cd14: BFN, AF showed 9/13/12 -On to cycle 2 with medication and IUI. 9/28 quit groqing, cycle cancelled. 2/6/13 follistim cd 3-12, follies 19, 18, 17, 12, count 1.7 mil, BFN. Skipping this cycle.

http://nikki52687.blogspot.com/ Donate to our IVF fund here: http://www.gofundme.com/210zuw
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  #15  
March 29th, 2011, 12:53 AM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 943
I'm around babies daily, my sister has a newborn and I work in a daycare. So far it hasn't helped me! All I do is wonder what MY kids will look like. Some kids I see are spitting images of their parents and others dont even look related. To answer the question, I outnon a happy face buy part of me is bitter and jealous. I try to ignore the feelings but it just builds up anger so I've learned to talk through the feelings with dh. It helps at least a little, and he is very supportive of me feeling that way. I try not to be too negative though, I think if I was pregnant I wouldn't want to feel terrible for someone else being angry with me just because I got pregnant. so I see it from both sides.
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  #16  
March 29th, 2011, 03:57 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Grand Rapids,MI
Posts: 1,680
I know how hard it is. We were ttc for over a year and in that yeah DH sister was pg and then my sister got pg with her 4th kid. She complained the whole time. I wanted to punch her in the face. Good thing I haven't seen her in over a year!
DH's sister stays up all night doing drugs and drinking with her friends and she complains about how tired she is and how no one helps her and boo hoo poor me. She makes me so mad. There were 2 pregnant woman at work as well who can not afford kids and get state assistance which aggravates me because they weren't trying and they complain still about how tired they are.

Ok rant over. Take a deep breath. It is hard to see people pregnant all around you. Just remember one day it will be your turn. It happened for me. Keep your head up and your thoughts positive (which is hard I know).
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  #17  
March 29th, 2011, 10:57 AM
Veteran
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 135
It bugs me a lot more then I would like to admit I have a "friend" like yours who always seems to throw pregnancy in my face, and then if I say anything I am "being to sensitive and/or not supportive". I have to take a break from people like that :S

I have a friend on fb who is pregnant and everytime I see her posts it makes me so upset Her pregnancy was unplanned and she is an avid drug user! To the point that I think it's an addiction :S It makes me so sad that someone who is clearly not in a good situation in their life is blessed with this and here I try month after month

I definitely feel your pain and you are DEFINITELY not being dumb!
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  #18  
March 29th, 2011, 01:50 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Northern KY
Posts: 10,208
I am surrounded by preggers. There are currently 8 chicks that I see/hear from on a regular basis who are pregnant! Plus one of my best friends just had a baby on Friday. I am just happy for them, it is all I can be. This is only technically our 2nd month trying, so I am sure it would be different if we had been trying longer. I have a friend who is going through fertility treatments and is one of the few people that knows we are ttc and she is good about putting things in perspective for me.
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  #19  
April 2nd, 2011, 11:25 PM
IndyMommyWannabe's Avatar Always Hoping & Praying
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Indiana
Posts: 1,749
omgeeee yes! we are TTC'ng our FIRST! i swear - it seems like every.single.time. i turn around, another friend is pregnant! so many girls at work - so many friends on facebook. and i even just found out YESTERDAY another friend is!

granted, i am very happy for most of them - but it really is so very hard when we've been trying AND the fact that DH and I are older than all of them, as well! we are in our 30's and all of our friends who've had their babies or are pregnant now are much younger.

but I just know that one day will be our day as well. we will have a family.
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  #20  
April 7th, 2011, 05:20 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 1,322
I was due this year in October, and my baby passed before 7 weeks. (blighted ovum) I carried the empty sack till almost 12 weeks, now finally last sunday I passed it with meds. But two days ago, two friends of mine announced their pregnancies for october. Made me cry, and is tearing me up right now thinking about it. I'm happy they are pregnant, but I'm so sad for me that it has been a long road for us. Two confirmed miscarriages, and we've been trying since fall 2007.
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