Log In Sign Up

I have a confession...


Forum: Trying to Conceive

Notices

Welcome to the JustMommies Message Boards.

We pride ourselves on having the friendliest and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment and register for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers. If you have any problems registering please drop an email to boards@justmommies.com.

Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!

Reply Post New Topic
  Subscribe To Trying to Conceive LinkBack Topic Tools Search this Topic Display Modes
  #1  
May 27th, 2011, 12:15 PM
IndyMommyWannabe's Avatar Always Hoping & Praying
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Indiana
Posts: 1,749
So I have a confession to make...I have never truly felt that "maternal" feeling...when I was little - yes I loved baby dolls as much as the next person - but in my 20's and up til now (i'm 31)...I've never truly had that "OMG I NEED A BABY" feeling.

Yes I want to start a family and can't wait - but that "OMG I NEED A BABY" feeling really has never been there...you know the kind - when you're walking down the street and see a brand new baby and you may think "yeah, I want one of those"...but it's not that "OMG I NEED ONE OF MY OWN" feelings...

My husband and I have been married for over 2 years now - and together for almost 5. We have our furbabies, whom I love - but I've never been that "OMG I HAVE TO HAVE A BABY IMMEDIATELY" person.

Some days, too, even though we've been trying for over a year now - some days while I'm sad that it HASN'T happened immediately, another part of me keeps thinking "are you truly ready?"...

I've never really been around babies - and I only have one nephew, who I've only met ONE time - at our wedding...he's 3. I love him to pieces, but I've really only seen him the one time.

So - again, it's mostly the fact that I've NEVER really been around babies - even all my friends here at work and from HS who've HAD theirs already - I've never really been around them...

BUT. having said all that. One of my friends at work brought hers in today and OMG my heart exploded with how much I truly DO want one and now. Maybe it's reading all these posts here on JM and other TTC blogs...and it could be all the troubles we are having and the fact that it's been over a year of trying now...but I just saw baby Lucas and how precious and perfect he is...and it's like OMG I NEED A BABY.

lol. anyone know what i'm talking about? or am i just crazy all by myself? lol.
__________________
- -
-
TTC since March 2010 (too darn long) - 4 years, 2 months and counting... / Severe MFI / Stage 1 Endometriosis

IVF=ONLY option

October 2012 = Fresh IVF #1 - retrieved 8, 6 fertilized. Transfer 2. Fail.March 2013 = Frozen #1 - Transfer 2 of 4 left. Fail.
February 2014 = Frozen #2 - Transfer remaining 2 - IMPLANTATION!
8 weeks, D&C - blighted ovum - Triploidy


July 2014 = Fresh IVF #2!


"Sometimes the bad things that happen in our lives put us directly on the path to the best things that will ever happen to us!"

Come visit my blog/journal to learn more about our journey - Our Adventure through Infertility
Reply With Quote
  #2  
May 28th, 2011, 06:05 AM
IndyMommyWannabe's Avatar Always Hoping & Praying
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Indiana
Posts: 1,749
haha ok maybe i am in crazy land alone! lol. ;p
__________________
- -
-
TTC since March 2010 (too darn long) - 4 years, 2 months and counting... / Severe MFI / Stage 1 Endometriosis

IVF=ONLY option

October 2012 = Fresh IVF #1 - retrieved 8, 6 fertilized. Transfer 2. Fail.March 2013 = Frozen #1 - Transfer 2 of 4 left. Fail.
February 2014 = Frozen #2 - Transfer remaining 2 - IMPLANTATION!
8 weeks, D&C - blighted ovum - Triploidy


July 2014 = Fresh IVF #2!


"Sometimes the bad things that happen in our lives put us directly on the path to the best things that will ever happen to us!"

Come visit my blog/journal to learn more about our journey - Our Adventure through Infertility
Reply With Quote
  #3  
May 28th, 2011, 06:18 AM
ArtsyAnna's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2011
Location: New York, upstate!
Posts: 615
I've always wanted a baby, so I can't relate to that part. When I was little and was asked that oh-so-famous "what do you wanna be when you grow up?" question, I always answered with "a mama". I always had that maternal vibe, and need for it.

That being said, I never truly had extreme baby urge until this past year! I always knew I wanted to someday be a mom, but I don't think the time was correct. I'm 31 now, and I've been married 8 years. I guess DH and I wanted to accomplish some things, do things (etc) before I felt ready. Now I feel ready.

I don't think it's abnormal not to have the maternal instinct, not everyone does. I bet once you're pregnant, though.. those feelings will all rush to the surface!
__________________
.. thanks for the siggy, Jaidynsmum! :-)
Reply With Quote
  #4  
May 28th, 2011, 08:23 AM
Mandy1108's Avatar Expecting a little boy!!
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Virginia
Posts: 1,200
Send a message via Skype™ to Mandy1108
Quote:
Originally Posted by IndyMommyWannabe View Post
haha ok maybe i am in crazy land alone! lol. ;p



No you're not alone. My hubby and I just started TTC #1 and we're in month #2 but I'm out this month. But I know exactly what you're talking about.....I want one but when it doesnt happen I think....maybe Im not ready? Am I? Are we? But then I see a preg lady in Target or a lil newborn and I think yes I am....so I have those same mixed feelings...and when I get AF I'm disappointed. I think its normal though & we're gonna keep trying GL to you!
Reply With Quote
  #5  
May 28th, 2011, 03:58 PM
Libby22's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 4,050
I always wanted kids, but the mum feeling did'nt kick in for me till I saw my baby for the first time, best feeling in the world.
__________________

My Ovulation Chart || Ovulation Calendar





Af came 4 July nz time
Reply With Quote
  #6  
May 28th, 2011, 05:03 PM
Leanne78's Avatar Nov 2012 DDC Co-Host
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 9,498
No, you are NOT crazy! Honestly, I didn't want kids for the longest time. Both me and my DH were so not kid people. Kids seemed to like us for some reason, but they really just annoyed us. I can remember being in the store on numerous occasions and see some poor mom stuggling with her kid and thinking THANK GOD I don't have one of those! It took almost 9 years of marriage before DH and I even consider it. We didn't want to not have kids and we were both getting into our 30's and figured we'd better get moving. This is so cliched, but seriously, once you have your own, it's so different. I can't imagine not having kids now. Akadia is my world. Having her has just totally changed my life. Once you hold your own little baby in your arms, that maternal feeling totally kicks in. Maybe not instantly (birth is an emotional and draining experience so sometimes it takes a few days to adjust), but eventually you will not know how you ever lived without your little bundle too. By the way, I still don't like a lot of people's kids!
__________________



Reply With Quote
  #8  
May 28th, 2011, 09:58 PM
Chelbell's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Colorado
Posts: 1,872
You are not crazy at all. Before I had my son, I never had that maternal feeling. Even when I was pregnant I was worried that I wouldn't know what to do once he came. I was always afraid to hold babies and to tell you the truth, most kids totally got on my nerves.
The moment my little guy was put in my arms I felt totally different. Once you become a mom your entire outlook on life changes. I can't wait to have that feeling all over again
__________________
Chelsey, mom to Jaxon(3), Zachary(1), and expecting #3 11/11/13

Reply With Quote
  #9  
May 28th, 2011, 10:25 PM
ashbbrunton's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Lafayette, IN
Posts: 2,202
From a fellow Hoosier! See you aren't alone!! I always knew I wanted to be a mom, but never had that overwhelming feeling. I think it wasn't until I got preggo that I felt it! Don't feel crazy! lol
__________________


Thank You so much Typical Vampire for my Gorgeous Siggy!!!!


Reply With Quote
  #10  
May 29th, 2011, 12:56 AM
NICU Nurse
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 674
I didn't have the "I NEED A BABY NOW" feeling until I started working as a nurse in a NICU! lol Holding babies all the time kinda kicks the hormones (or whatever switch in your brain) on full force! (And I was 26 at the time).
__________________









Reply With Quote
  #11  
May 29th, 2011, 06:23 PM
Mandy1108's Avatar Expecting a little boy!!
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Virginia
Posts: 1,200
Send a message via Skype™ to Mandy1108
Quote:
Originally Posted by Venixa View Post
I didn't have the "I NEED A BABY NOW" feeling until I started working as a nurse in a NICU! lol Holding babies all the time kinda kicks the hormones (or whatever switch in your brain) on full force! (And I was 26 at the time).


My nephew was born 3 months early so he was in the NICU for a few months. He turns 8 this year! Amazing how time flies....& I said the day he went home was the best day but a part of me would miss those lil babies in the NICU.
Reply With Quote
  #12  
May 30th, 2011, 12:36 PM
IndyMommyWannabe's Avatar Always Hoping & Praying
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Indiana
Posts: 1,749
hey all!!! haven't checked this thread for a couple days! lol.

:whew: at least i'm not crazy! ok, maybe i am - but that's for another thread...haha.

it's funny because even when i see babies and have only RECENTLY been getting that "OMG I WANT ONE" feeling - I'm also still scared to hold one...like i'm going to break it. haha.

And - like someone else stated, i'm NOT a fan of other people's kids either...specially since I do shop at a store, all too often, where parents are notorious for allowing their children to scream at the top of their lungs while ignoring they exist...

but yes i want one. it's just frustrating because we are dealing with infertility issues, too, so who knows how long it'll be before we DO have our own..it's like - seriously - for SO long we did everything we could NOT to have one - and now that we are both ready and want one, nature is saying "nope, sorry not gonna happen." (well, not like we planned anyways).
__________________
- -
-
TTC since March 2010 (too darn long) - 4 years, 2 months and counting... / Severe MFI / Stage 1 Endometriosis

IVF=ONLY option

October 2012 = Fresh IVF #1 - retrieved 8, 6 fertilized. Transfer 2. Fail.March 2013 = Frozen #1 - Transfer 2 of 4 left. Fail.
February 2014 = Frozen #2 - Transfer remaining 2 - IMPLANTATION!
8 weeks, D&C - blighted ovum - Triploidy


July 2014 = Fresh IVF #2!


"Sometimes the bad things that happen in our lives put us directly on the path to the best things that will ever happen to us!"

Come visit my blog/journal to learn more about our journey - Our Adventure through Infertility

Last edited by IndyMommyWannabe; May 30th, 2011 at 12:38 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #13  
May 31st, 2011, 12:58 PM
CaseyCase's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: NY
Posts: 713
You are SO NOT alone. I'm actually glad to read some of these.
I just turned 32, and my husband is 34. We've been married almost 11 years and ONLY decided last year we wanted a child. We went almost 10 years of marriage completely wanting to go child free FOREVER. We just had no desire to have one, or to add to our family. We felt like being selfish. Traveling when we wanted, sleeping in, doing what we wanted to do..... for us, it was perfect.

Last year a close friend of mine had a baby, and I held it.... I got this pang of... "oh wow, this "thing" is cute!" and then I babysat.. I fell in love. I fell in love with the idea. I was almost afraid to tell my husband, because he had been so determined in saying and feeling like he wanted NO part of a child- ever. But, I had been the same. We talked, and he confessed he was starting to change his mind..

And, here we are.
Now, I want it more than anything in the world.
It's amazing how your mind can change with a snap of the fingers. I never had that maternal instinct. Now, I can't wait. I guess maybe it just takes some woman longer to feel it..
__________________
(thanks for the siggy, Meganpixel!)

Reply With Quote
Reply

Topic Tools Search this Topic
Search this Topic:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 11:34 PM.



Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0