What is more important to you?

AimeeD041727 · #1 February 9th, 2012, 07:41 AM

The age between your kids or if their birthdays are close together?

I'm going through this dilemma right now.

We started TTC last month. If we keep going and try again this month, the baby would be born about a month before Sofia's (my middle daughter) birthday. If we wait and TTC in May the baby would be born in Feb 2013, and Tessa (my youngest) would be 3 1/2.

My girls are 18 months apart and 2 1/2 years apart. So this would be the biggest gap. I'm really up in the air with this.

I would love your opinions!

ninja_mommy · #2 February 9th, 2012, 07:45 AM

Hmmm, it's about a horse a piece for me. I think I would rather have the age closesness and worry about birthdays later!

Wishinfor2ndblessing · #3 February 9th, 2012, 07:49 AM

my DD is 7, and her birthdya is in October... so either way DD will be 8, God forbid 9, if it takes longer to get pregnant. So I no longer care about birthdays being close.. DH birthday is 3/08, our anniversary is 04/24, and my birthday is 04/26, and DD is in October... so its pretty close in the first part of the year.... I never intended to have children this far apart.... but I am starting to realize that I will have a built in baby sitter... and helper... and DD is excited that we are "praying" for another baby... so she feels a part of it too.... its gonna be like her baby. lol

Sawyers_Mommy · #4 February 9th, 2012, 08:09 AM

Idc care much about the birthdays. I kinda wanted to avoid having another one born in Dec because of it being so cold and so close to Christmas and I didn't want Jan, Feb or March either. I mean if it had happened I still would've been happy but not my top pick. I prefer to go with the closeness in age though. I wanted ds and his sibiling to be around 2yrs apart and when this one is born they'll be 22months apart

Caerus · #5 February 9th, 2012, 08:25 AM

In a perfect world they'd have birthdays roughly 6 months apart.

To us, we'd rather have kids somewhat closer together than worry about birthdays. Can totally see why you'd prefer not to have several birthdays at once though!

AimeeD041727 · #6 February 9th, 2012, 08:34 AM

Gianna's is on July 4th, Sofia's is on Dec 27th and Tessa's is June 17th. My birthday is July 23rd. Our Anniversary is August 14th and my husband's birthday is September 19th.

So we are busy during the summer months! And Sofia's birthday is two days after Christmas. So we have a good five months open after the holidays, but I keep going back and forth.

BlndGrl8 · #7 February 9th, 2012, 01:08 PM

I wouldn't mind if their birthdays are one month apart. I just wouldn't want to have another December baby and have 2 birthdays in one month. I want my daughter to be closer to 3 when we have a new baby rather than having them close together.

lunar scallion · #8 February 9th, 2012, 05:49 PM

I guess because I'm TTC #1 I never thought about that! I think for me I'd go for the age spacing. You can control how their birthdays are celebrated and would be able to make sure each one still got their own separate party. You can't control how their age difference (whether too close or too far apart) influences their interactions with each other.

AimeeD041727 · #9 February 10th, 2012, 09:39 AM

Thanks Ladies! I think we are just going to keep trying! And whenever it happens, it happens!

Braysmomma03 · #10 February 10th, 2012, 10:48 AM

My son turns 9 next month, so I threw the whole age gap and birth month thing out the window. ALl I want right now is to get and stay pregnant. Before all this infertility I didn't want that big of an age gap, month didn't matter to me

dibbers · #11 February 10th, 2012, 10:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wishinfor2ndblessing

my DD is 7, and her birthdya is in October... so either way DD will be 8, God forbid 9, if it takes longer to get pregnant. So I no longer care about birthdays being close.. DH birthday is 3/08, our anniversary is 04/24, and my birthday is 04/26, and DD is in October... so its pretty close in the first part of the year.... I never intended to have children this far apart.... but I am starting to realize that I will have a built in baby sitter... and helper... and DD is excited that we are "praying" for another baby... so she feels a part of it too.... its gonna be like her baby. lol

You got married on my birthday

swtneka · #12 February 10th, 2012, 11:28 AM

I use to say I want all my kids to be born during the summer may-september because of school but now idc I just want a baby. My kids r 4 years apart n they get along fine but my next two I want closer like irish twins closer. Lol

mommy_to_nico · #13 February 10th, 2012, 11:52 AM

i feel what you all are saying, but situations prevent from that happening, my son is 8 yrs old and finally 2 1/2 yrs ago i met the love of my life, now we've been trying since 2010 and nothing. he has low sperm count and it suxs. so i don't care how far they are apart i want to get pregnant and stay pregnant like Braysmomma03 said.

mrsb1029 · #14 February 10th, 2012, 12:38 PM

We are a close knit family (my DH and I as well as our parents and siblings) and I don't really want a summer baby because my DH has 6 nephews and one neice. Five of them have their birthdays in June and July. My DH is 8/1, mine is 9/9 and our anniversary is 10/29.

However at this point, I don't care anymore since getting pregnant is harder than it looked. I just want to get pregnant and stay pregnant.

dibbers · #15 February 10th, 2012, 01:12 PM

I was thinking about not trying in March as dont want a dec baby but now I just so want to pg i really dont mind when its born!

caseya001 · #16 February 11th, 2012, 07:26 PM

I really want close in age.. I don't care when.. even though all birthdays, anniversarys, happen all over March for us for some reaso... It would surprise me if we concieve in March or have it so the DD is in March.. which the second would suck cause that means 4-5 more months of tryiing...argh...

Momma_Mia · #17 February 11th, 2012, 07:57 PM

I have 2 girls and they are 7 years apart and i was concerned about the age gap also but i will tell you they are the sweetest thing. They are really close to each other and my oldest looks out for the younger yet they still pick on each other. it really is sweet. they are not so close in age where they are competing after the same thing...they have different interests and i dont have the fighting over "well i wanted that but she got it" kinda thing. which is what i went through with my stepdaughter and my oldest daughter who are 16 months apart.

So now i am TTC and my youngest is 8 and what bothers me is that my oldest who is 15 will not be as close to the new baby because she will probably be off to college in a few years.

MommaHarvey · #18 February 11th, 2012, 08:18 PM

I really want mine close together. My sister and I are 5 years apart and never got along at all until I was in my 20's. However DH and his brother & sister (they're twins) are 23mo apart and have always been best of friends. Except for the boy/girl difference that you would expect when the boys gang up on the girl, and then she goes and tattles on them.