[CyndiBear]

Well ladies, I'm home. Mini vacation wasn't quite what we expected....DH and I were to go to San Diego to visit his mom, and have a few days to ourselves on her beach house. He even got tickets to a Cirque Du Soleil show, and reservations for a romantic night before we came home. I was SO excited. It was exactly what I needed since the last month or so has been so hard on me.

Well, wouldn't you know it, my stepkids ended up having to come with us, because their mom flaked, once again, which I really should have anticipated, but wanted to be positive about the whole thing. So, we packed up and took the kids with us, thinking that they would just spend time with their grandma and cousins on the night we had plans and it would be fine. Well, my step daughter decided she wasn't having that. She wanted to go to the show with us, and she wasn't having it any other way. The tickets, even bought ahead of time were $180 each, and DH, just CAN'T say no to his little girl, and payed almost $300 dollars for a last minute ticket for her....dinner was cancelled because money was now an issue. I decided it was okay, I love my step daughter and she's fun to have around. We'll have fun even with her, and we can just eat dinner at home.

So off we go to the show....And 10 minutes in, she is bored and wants to leave and is throwing a fit. Come ON. You are 13 years old, are you really acting like this right now? Me and DH NEVER have evenings out or get to spend time together just us. Our idea of a romantic night together is watching half of a movie before falling asleep after the kids are in bed. I was SO MAD.

At intermission, DH took her back to the house and came back to watch the rest of the show with me....I love him, and I love her too, but I need to have a serious talk with him about how spoiled she is....he needs to be the parent, and tell her how to act, not cater to her every whim because she's his princess. It's okay to spoil your kids once in a while, but this was seriously out of hand. Am I an evil stepmom now? Ughh.

Anyway, I think I'm out this cycle. DH was working a lot durring my fertile period and we only BD once. I guess it's still possible, but I'm not getting my hopes up.

At least I got some decent sleep last night....and got a good deal on laundry detergent at the store today. Gotta see the positives right?

BTW, I loved the show, once I blocked out the whining in my ear. Those people are SERIOUSLY amazing.

[lunaverde]

Being a parent is difficult enough, and then being a step-parent is even more difficult at times. Especially when the other parent wants to make the step-parent's life a living ... well you know.

You are not an evil step-mom. It's pretty obvious you love your step-daughter and only want what's best for her. She is probably so torn between her mother and you, she is acting out because she doesn't know how to deal with it. It's so tough trying to walk a line between being a good parent and being their friend as they get older. I'm on the other end of the spectrum, my DH is the step-parent. I know we have to keep communicating about how we deal with my DD because otherwise we fight about everything!

Hang in there! It's going to get better, you just got to be there for that girl and do your best, like I know you already are. She will see in time that you are not her enemy and things will get better.

HTH!!! Glad you got to have some fun on your mini vacation!!

[Caerus]

Aw, I'm sorry your romantic vacation didn't quite work out as planned. And I agree completely, DH needs to set some rules with his DD. You shouldn't have to be the one putting your foot down/disciplining all the time, that would be a terrible family dynamic. I've read before (don't know how true it is, but it jives with my experience) that divorced parents very often spoil their kiddos, because of the way divorce alters relationships. They are afraid, I guess from listening to divorced friends, that the kid will start wanting to be with the other parent more, and that they have deprived the child of something by not being married to their co-parent anymore. Sort of like a parent who has a career that involves them traveling a lot will often buy their kiddo lots of toys/trips/fun stuff.

As for the BDing, it only takes once! FXed for you!

[Aillidh]

Cynthia!

Sorry about the kinks in your trip. I wish I had some useful advice. Mostly I think being 13 is just hard. It's a hard age for girls a lot of times. This sort of in between age where you're not quite a teenager (although you technically are) but you're not quite a kid. And I bet she's having to figure out a lot of tough stuff with her peers and it sounds like she has it rough with a flighty parent. I'm sure she feels torn in between the stability that you offer and the love for her mother. I hope things get better for you

[Lucky Mama]

I'm so glad you're back! I'm sorry your romantic vacation didn't turn out to be so romantic. Blended families can be so hard to manage at times, even when you love your step-kids (and I cn tell you do).

And I agree with Rebecca: it only takes one BD to get the job done! Perhaps you caught your egg after all!

Good to have you back, hon!

[CyndiBear]

Thankyou ladies. Being a step parent is really hard, especially when the other parent is such a hard person to deal with.
But they are with their mom tonight, and we ordered in dinner, so I'm out for the night.
Thankyou for all your kind words....I really missed my JM ladies <3

[ninja_mommy]

I think anyone would be frustrated if it was there own child. And at times like that it's really hard to see the positive. If I was your DH I would make her work off that $300 she blew on the ticket. It would give her a lesson and make her think twice about pitching a fit!