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I'm going to haul my butt down to the gym to work off this anger I feel. But I just need to get this off my chest.
My DH's aunt came in from out of town to enroll her son in college here and to visit grampa today. I was not looking forward to this visit at all.
She proceeded to scold DH and I. I am so angry right now, I want to cry. How DARE she? She has no idea what the last 3 years have been like for our family, she scolded us about not visiting Grampa and about how we put a burden on DH's parents so now his dad can't retire.
Well boo **** hoo. His dad is the one who hurt and molested my DD, and we're supposed to feel bad that the old pervert can't retire? And we already feel bad enough about not having visited Grampa. But in our defense, DH's mom said he abused her, too. So we stayed away. Now that I know that the particular abuse she was referring to was a lie (although, yeah, he's verbally abusive, so I can kind of understand where she was coming from), and we're here taking care of Grampa day to day while they live in another city and only come down a few times a year and that gives her the right to pass judgement on us, why?!
As it is, we were not given a chance to even tell her and her husband our side of the story because DH's parents made sure we weren't around whenever they came into town.
I'm so upset and I need to go to the gym and work this off. Ugh. I just cannot deal with some people and their smug self-righteousness.
People like that aren't worth your anger or frustration. I know it's hard to brush it off, and even harder when it's family, but from what I've learned (And I've faced so many of the same issues as you, that's why I adore you so much) is that you can only control YOUR actions. (Excuse me for using terminology I have to use with clients at work, but it really helps!) Other people are ALWAYS going to judge you....I don't care who they are or how close they are in your life, there will ALWAYS be judgmental and hateful people. All you can do, is let them have their say, and move on. You know your story, and you don't have to justify anything to anyone.
You are doing what is best for you, and for your family. You know that, DH knows that, and that is ALL that matters.
I'm pulling for you pretty lady. All my love to you and your family.
Clare(32) Expecting our miracle Son Charlie.
Dear my Angel in heaven. I am carrying your brother, I beg you please look over them and keep them safe, i'll take over in July. Click for my blog.
People like that aren't worth your anger or frustration. I know it's hard to brush it off, and even harder when it's family, but from what I've learned (And I've faced so many of the same issues as you, that's why I adore you so much) is that you can only control YOUR actions. (Excuse me for using terminology I have to use with clients at work, but it really helps!) Other people are ALWAYS going to judge you....I don't care who they are or how close they are in your life, there will ALWAYS be judgmental and hateful people. All you can do, is let them have their say, and move on. You know your story, and you don't have to justify anything to anyone.
You are doing what is best for you, and for your family. You know that, DH knows that, and that is ALL that matters.
I'm pulling for you pretty lady. All my love to you and your family.
thank you Cyndi. I have trouble regulating my emotional response to situations (I have BPD), this is why I wanted to have the gym membership because I so rarely have an excuse to leave the house and I needed to get away today. Especially after the comments about my FIL. Even the mention of him makes me rage and to have someone defend him... ugh.
Quote:
Originally Posted by captivate
Your a much better person. Hold your head up high xxx
Thanks hun. I appreciate it!
Also, I had got the feeling that Grampa didn't like me going to the gym (and DH sort of confirmed my suspicion, but I could also tell from the look on his face whenever I leave and come back) so knowing that whenever I go and do this one thing for me bothers Grampa to no end, is kind of empowering. I know, I am bad for enjoying his negativity, but I cannot be myself while living here. I am constantly biting my tongue and walking away from situations I would normally be outspoken about or tell someone off for. I'm not going to let him spoil my goal of trying to get healthy, so he can sit there and be suspicious all day long, but this isn't about him and he can just stuff it.
I do feel so much better. Thank you all for listening to me whine again. Y'all are the best.
Clare(32) Expecting our miracle Son Charlie.
Dear my Angel in heaven. I am carrying your brother, I beg you please look over them and keep them safe, i'll take over in July. Click for my blog.
Luna, you're so strong, Cyndi took the words right out of my mouth. You just have to let people run their mouths and spout their venom, then pick up and walk away. I know it's hard, but I'm thinking and praying for you often my dear. I hope things get better for you.
Simply ridiculous. The others have already said everything I was going to, but I just wanted to extend a virtual hug and remind you that you are in the prayers of many of us on this board.
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Thanks to Vicki for the lovely siggie! My Chart
Grampa doesn't like you going to the gym????? ***??????
What the hell has anything got to do with anyone else?
I hate people who try and control other peoples lives, total control freaks.
You bask in his negativity, I know its a little imature but hell I would with my head held high
He does this. A lot. Apparently he thinks I'm off cheating on my DH. I don't know why it matters to him and to be honest, I ignore him for the most part. He hasn't really said anything about the gym yet, but I'm sure it's coming.
Thank god my DH is so supportive and understanding. I would not be able to face every day with a smile otherwise.
Quote:
Originally Posted by LaceyMay2630
Luna, you're so strong, Cyndi took the words right out of my mouth. You just have to let people run their mouths and spout their venom, then pick up and walk away. I know it's hard, but I'm thinking and praying for you often my dear. I hope things get better for you.
Yes, Cyndi reminded me of some very important things. And that is why I love all of you on this board so much. I'm not going to let these people beat me down or win. I am going to keep pushing forward everyday and live my life for my DH and our kids.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Caerus
Simply ridiculous. The others have already said everything I was going to, but I just wanted to extend a virtual hug and remind you that you are in the prayers of many of us on this board.
Thanks Rebecca. You always have something encouraging to say and I feel so blessed by the many wonderful friends I have here, like you. I have to remind myself not to let my emotions get carried away.
Once again, you ladies have reminded me of what truly matters and made me more determined than ever to keep fighting with my head held high. I like that (thank you for saying that to me Clare, I will keep my head high). You ladies rock!
This made me so angry!! I dont blame you for needing to vent and feeling the way you do.. I do not know the background story but I know if anyone ever abused any of my children, seeing them or taking "care" of them is out of the question.. I would be hurting them..
