[CyndiBear]

So, its 2 am and I can't sleep, because I'm so upset. Its all dumb and I don't know why I'm such a wreck tonight, but I've been crying so hard my eyes are almost swollen shut. Maybe I've just been really stressed but something is up with me.

I asked DH if we could go out and do something tomorrow. We used to have date nights once a week at least, now I'm lucky to get him out of the house to go grocery shopping. But he said no. We have to get Maya school supplies and we can't afford it. I don't know why, but this set me off.

Maybe its because I've been dealing with the loss of my father, a baby, and my dog, all within the last six months. Maybe its because he never romances me anymore and I miss it. Maybe its because ever since he got this new job, I never see him, but were more broke than ever. Maybe its because he doesn't understand that I hate being in the house all day everyday all by myself with not a friend in the world here, just waiting for him constantly. Maybe I'm just not special or attractive or interesting anymore. I don't know....but I can feel him drifting away from me and I don't know why or what to do.

I was crying in bed, and he turned over,and instead of asking me what was wrong, he snapped at me and said "what is wrong with you. You're all emotional I can feel the bed shaking. What kind of crisis cou@ you possibly be having at 2 am"

This sent me into a rant about how I miss him and how much I love him, and everything I do for his kids and how I just want so badly to be pregnant, and it seems no matter what I do I can't get it to stick. He already did all this, and I know he's just trying to shut me up. I can't even get a reaction from him....he just rolled over and went back to sleep....we've never had these problems. We've always handled these things so good, but he's acting like he doesn't even care....I can't even get a date with my own husband.

He goes to work, and socializes, has fun with his work buddies, and then comes home and doesn't realize that I've been home all day alone. I want to talk, I want to spend his days off doing something with him, living a happy life....I don't even have a mom or friend to call and cry to....he's litterally all I have in this world, and the last few weeks it feels like I don't even have him.

[captivate]

Oh hunni. I hate to think of anyone in this position. Try talking to him in an evening when your calmer. It's amazing the difference when you have a calm head.

Have you no hobbies to keep your mind off things?

[LPNMOMMY84]

im going to PM you my number and **** it, you call me. Men can be so oblivious. I think when you are more calm you need to sit down with him and tell him exactly what is bothering you and what you need HIM to do to help you fix it. Men are kinda well slow and need specific instructions most times. ((HUGS))

[alittlelost]

He's being a jerk

I'm sorry hon. I hope things get better soon.

[MaineBean]

I am sorry you had such a crappy night. Every now and again I freak out on hubby in the middle of the night and it never fails that he (who is half asleep and wants to be fully asleep and has no clue what crazy train is off the tracks in my head) tries to just take the path of least resistance to get me to be quiet INSTEAD of just taking 2 minutes to give me a hug and a few kind words. Then when he doesn't give the kind words, I get even more fired up. It's not pretty.

The situation sucks no matter what. Poor guy is blind-sided by a random thing, so I have to remember that he isn't prepared to handle my insanity and need to work on not going ballistic on him out of the blue. And I need to communicate that what I am looking for is some sympathy- so that HE can understand what is expected of him and can properly handle me. So I'd say, that your man could have handled it better, but don't forget you caught him off-guard.

As for being alone in the house, yeah, that sucks. Sounds like it's time to find some local friends that you can get together with. You can't take up a hobby that costs a lot- that will only add to the stress- and you can't spend your days out shopping with money you don't have. But you also can't be expected to be an island. It isn't healthy for you, it isn't healthy for your relationship for DH to be the solitary outlet for your energy. Why not spend some time volunteering? Find something you are passionate about (feeding the homeless, spending time at a nursing home, helping an animal shelter, Big Sister mentoring, pounding the streets getting support for gay marriage or political endeavors, cleaning up parks and streams to keep things green, etc) and then dive in. It only costs your time and will allow you meet others that share a common like- which is an easy way to make friends.

You certainly have had a lot going on lately, but you CAN get through this!

[FishermansWife4]

Cyndi, men are oblivious sometimes. I wish I could come visit you and give you a big ol hug. It seems like you're going through a lot and I want you to know, I lost my father also. If you want to talk, pm me. I'll listen. You say you don't have any friends around you. You're a beautiful person, I can't imagine why you don't have anyone. Put your beautiful self out there, doing something you love, and I'm sure you'll find at least 1 person you can connect with. I second trying to find a cause and really immersing yourself in it. I'm praying for you, sweet heart. Things always look darkest before the dawn and you're a very strong woman. I'm sure things will work out soon.

[Shiftin'Gears]

Im on the boat with the other ladies. Men can be a oblivious. Mine has learned a lot over the past couple years from turning his head at times like this. If you need any one to talk to you can always pm me. You need someone to lean on and WE as a group are here for you.

[WorkerBeeMama]

I'm so sorry you are going thru this. Have you guys thought about counseling? Big hugs! If you ever want to meet for coffee and chat, let me know! I'm so close!

[Babybear4]

I was going to suggest the counseling, too. Maybe he is just stressed with his new job and doesn't know how to handle you.

My mom has terminal cancer and so, I've been on a total emotional rollercoaster for the past few months. My husband is to a point where I feel like he doesn't care what I am going through but I know in my heart that it's just that he doesn't know what to say or do to make it better. Maybe that is where your DH is at? Maybe he just doesn't know how to comfort you or make it better, so it's easier for him to just snap and avoid it?

Big Feel free to PM me if you ever need to talk.

[Diamond2009]

I'm so sorry hun. Men can be so inconsiderate. I suggest like the others. try talking to him about how you feel when you are not emotional. Hopefully he can meet you half way and you guys can work throught this. We are all here for you to vent and cry to.

[RoxanneMI]

I am so sorry that you are going through all this.

When I lost my father, i was upset at one point when I was crying that hubby didn't comfort me. I freak out on him about it. He explained to me there was times he tried to comfort me and being all emotional, I freaked out on him for doing that. He was in a position that he didn't know how to react. We got to a point where I would say just hold me as I cry or just sit back and listen as I go on and on.

[LaceyMay2630]

My sweet Cyndi. I just wanted to come and give you my love and hugs. I hope you're feeling better soon. I'm so sorry DH is being so hard to handle right now. Mine went through the exact same thing, I think they just handle it differently. Feel free to message me anytime you want my dear.

[CyndiBear]

Turns out I don't handle emal distress as well as I used to. Hahahahaa I calmed down, we had a good talk. DH just doesn't know what to do for me. Bad things keep happening as soon as we start to feel ready to move on....just instead of crying like me and making me more stressed, he holds things in, and tries to be my big strong man, because he thinks that's what I need. And in a way, he's right.....I do need him to be strong when I just can't do it for myself. Its just a rough patch....not in our relationship, but in my life. Were gonna get through it just fine, as long as he long as he learns when its too much for him to hold in....he needs to learn to talk, and so do I. We end up with these explosions because were both trying so hard to be strong for eachother. But, we took the kids their moms house, and had a cheap date night of $1 drive through hamburgers, and a drive through the mountains, rocking out to our music, and not thinking or talking about anything to do with my dad, my dog, and especially about the baby we lost and ttc. I feel a hundred times better, and he promised to try harder to be more plesent which is all I could ask. With all the stress lately, I haven't been exactly easy to deal with either. I appreciate all your kind words and love. I really need to get on here more...I miss this board so much. But, life calls. I love you girls!

[captivate]

I'm so happy I have read this this morning. It's nice to read people can still talk these days.

Technology and lifestyle has taken the need to talk away.

Sounds like you had a lovely time together.

I hope he continues to think of things before he does the drama ignore nice which is so common for men.

Love you hunni and big hugs. X

[Aillidh]

I'm so glad you feel better, Cyndi

[LaceyMay2630]

Ah, so glad that you're doing better and that you and your hubs were able to talk things over Sending many hugs your way my sweet friend. Keep smiling gorgeous!

[mom2brittnchris]

Glad that you were able to a talk. My hubby is the same way as far as holding stuff in trying to be strong for me. Sometimes you have to make them realize that we need them to talk to and that we need to know when things are bothering them. Hope you two can continue to keep the lines of communication open