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Forum: Trying to Conceive

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  #1  
March 24th, 2013, 06:36 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 1,547
As some of you know mine and dh's SIL is expecting a baby. She is due on July 25th. She and I must have O'd around the same time that month because I had looked up what my due date would be if we conceived and it was July 25th. Well she got her BFP and I got af I bawled my eyes out when I found out she was pregnant. I believe (but can't remember for certain now) that af had showed 3 days before we found out she was pregnant. Don't get me wrong I am very happy for them but at the same time it hurts me, too, because they tried for 6-8 months at the most before getting their BFP and we are on our 17 cycle/month now

We go out to eat with my 2 BIL's and SIL every weekend or every other weekend if the one BIL has to work. I have to admit that I have stayed home many times and not gone out to eat with them since our SIL has got pg. I avoided going after they found out they were having a baby boy because I knew that would be the topic of conversation that night (I was right, it was!).

Well lastnight we went out and ate at Western Sizzlin. I had no sooner sat down from getting my food at the buffet when my SIL came over and showed me 5 or 6 u/s pics of my nephew Isaac. The very bottom one was pointing at his boy parts and said "I'm a boy." My DH came to the table as his other brother was looking at them and when my DH handed them back to our SIL he said that he wished that the u/s pics were of his baby boy. It just about broke my heart

I have really tried to not think about it today but every time I remember my DH saying these words it just makes me feel like I am failing him and me by not being pg by now I know that my DH really wants a baby and I feel like my body hates me and is letting us both down!!

I am afraid that I am just making up all the symptoms that I have been having because I am wanting a baby so bad 2WW waits suck and I am really hoping and praying that I get my BFP this cycle!!

Thanks for letting me vent. I just feel like a horrible person sometimes because although I am happy for my BIL & SIL I still feel jealous that it isn't my DH and I having a baby
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Last edited by katydae88; March 24th, 2013 at 06:37 PM. Reason: forgot a word
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  #2  
March 24th, 2013, 07:02 PM
KayM's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Maryland
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Ugh, I know just how you feel. My sister told me she was pregnant 2 weeks after I had my miscarriage. Now I hate being around my family because everyone is so happy and excited for her, and while I am too, deep down inside I am just so overcome with jealousy because she has her baby and I miscarried mine. Its just an awful thing to go through. I try to stay away because I don't want to be a debbie downer and bring everyone else down while I'm so miserable.

I hope we both get our BFP's very soon so we won't have to go through this any longer. Good luck!!
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  #3  
March 24th, 2013, 07:11 PM
Pray, then pray some more
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 2,057
ah Katy I know it sucks. It's perfectly normal for you feel that way. We've only been at it 11 months now and every month my DH will make comments to me like well maybe your pregnant. I don't have the heart to explain to him that you don't even really have symptoms until you've missed your period. But every month I feel like I let him down. Last night he asked me how long I was planning on trying. I told him I didn't know to be honest. I think he's starting to lose hope as am I.

Try to act excited for your SIL because your time is coming and I know she will be excited for you. It might actually get easier for you once the baby is born. Your feelings are very normal.

This is your month Katy, speak it, believe it and pray it!
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  #4  
March 24th, 2013, 07:14 PM
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I am so sorry that you are in this position. My SIL is also having a baby due in April. Last April I had amc and I never told a sole. Talking about it would make it too real. They always say things like 'you don't understand because you don't have a family' or 'if you acted more like a girl then your girl parts would work'. Today is my birthday. I just knew that I would get my bfp today. I didn't. I have been fighting back tears. My MIL called and wants us all to go to dinner and then back to my SiL cause she needs to give her more baby gift (they all ready furnished the nursery & threw a shower) and i need to be there for all of this. I don't know how I am ever going to get through this. I just feel broken. I swear if mascara and lip stick helps with getting a bfp... I'll do it every day

I say all of this not meaning to high jack your post but just know you are not alone. wishing you lots of baby dust!!!
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  #5  
March 24th, 2013, 07:18 PM
KayM's Avatar Veteran
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Quote:
Originally Posted by starlitnite611 View Post
They always say things like 'you don't understand because you don't have a family' or 'if you acted more like a girl then your girl parts would work'. !
Wow, that is really awful that your family says these things to you. I'm so sorry, you shouldn't have to hear that.
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  #6  
March 24th, 2013, 07:26 PM
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Thanks Kay. It is truly just heartbreaking right now.
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  #7  
March 24th, 2013, 07:31 PM
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Join Date: Jan 2013
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you all make me sad. Family can be the cruelest at times.
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  #8  
March 24th, 2013, 07:32 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by starlitnite611 View Post

I say all of this not meaning to high jack your post but just know you are not alone. wishing you lots of baby dust!!!
I am sorry for what your family has said to you, that isn't very nice and not helpful at all. I am so sorry that you didn't get your BFP for your birthday. I wanted to have a BFP last month for my DH's b-day but it didn't work out Thank you for the hug it means a lot I am sending lots of baby dust your way, too, and I hope that it is just too early and that you get your BFP in the next few days!!!!!

BTW I want to wish you a Happy Birthday
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  #9  
March 24th, 2013, 07:33 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by starlitnite611 View Post
Thanks Kay. It is truly just heartbreaking right now.
I know, it really is. I know my mother is going to want me to plan my sisters baby shower with her soon, and I may have to tell her that I just can't do it. It is too heartbreaking thinking I will be planning her baby shower at the same time I should have been giving birth to my baby.

Just don't push yourself. Don't feel like you have to go do things with your family if you just don't feel up to it, that will only make you feel worse.
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  #10  
March 24th, 2013, 07:44 PM
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Oh hang in there hun! Like the other ladies said, soon it will be your turn too, our turn.

I too avoid family gathering because my cousin just had a baby a few months ago. I try not to be jealous but i can't help it. We are the only two grand daughters in my family and i am definitely feeling the pressure. My DF and i have been trying but it is hard since he has been away since august and only visited 2 or three times since. At christmas everyone was saying how simple it is to get pregnant, even tho they know my other cousin's wife had a hard time. I feel they are a bit insensitive. My DF almost took me out of the room last time cause he felt i was about to start crying.

I am probably gonna skip Easter, i feel bad about it but i was holding onto the fact that DF and are engaged and felt that at least i had that but i learnt last week that my cousin is not only a new mom but she just got engaged. I don't feel like having to deal with all of that, DF agrees. I know i am being selfish but i feel that it is what is best for me.

I say try to make you feel good. It is hard enough as it is. I am sure your SIL will be stoked for you when it happens, and so you should probably try to go once in a while to family gatherings but don't push yourself if you don't feel up to it and don't put the weight of it all on your shoulders.
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  #11  
March 24th, 2013, 07:44 PM
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Oh hang in there hun! Like the other ladies said, soon it will be your turn too, our turn.

I too avoid family gathering because my cousin just had a baby a few months ago. I try not to be jealous but i can't help it. We are the only two grand daughters in my family and i am definitely feeling the pressure. My DF and i have been trying but it is hard since he has been away since august and only visited 2 or three times since. At christmas everyone was saying how simple it is to get pregnant, even tho they know my other cousin's wife had a hard time. I feel they are a bit insensitive. My DF almost took me out of the room last time cause he felt i was about to start crying.

I am probably gonna skip Easter, i feel bad about it but i was holding onto the fact that DF and are engaged and felt that at least i had that but i learnt last week that my cousin is not only a new mom but she just got engaged. I don't feel like having to deal with all of that, DF agrees. I know i am being selfish but i feel that it is what is best for me.

I say try to make you feel good. It is hard enough as it is. I am sure your SIL will be stoked for you when it happens, and so you should probably try to go once in a while to family gatherings but don't push yourself if you don't feel up to it and don't put the weight of it all on your shoulders.
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  #12  
March 24th, 2013, 07:52 PM
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Location: TN
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I am so sorry Lana!!!! You and I have been trying for almost the same amt of time (it would have been the same amt of time had I now had that super long cycle of 53 days!!) and I totally understand. I understand exactly where all of you are coming from.I suffered an early miscarriage before I got pregnant with DS and I remember thinking that maybe we would never have any kids and I definitely didn't want to suffer through another miscarriage. But we were blessed and lucky enough to get pregnant with DS and now I feel selfish for wishing that we could get pregnant again. I have had a hard time the past 6 months with all of my friends being pregnant and having babies. I have gone to more baby showers and made more diaper cakes than I care to admit to. While it was so hard to go to the showers and make those diaper cakes, I did it because I want them to be excited for me when I find out we are pregnant (whenever that happens). I also understand if it is too hard to rejoice and be happy with them right now but once you hold their baby it changes everything. I pray for you ladies every night and hope that you will be blessed with your bfp soon!!!
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  #13  
March 24th, 2013, 08:48 PM
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Location: South Carolina
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@Katy thank you for the birthday wish. If you ever need a shoulder to vent, I'm here for ya.

@Kay I didn't go to my SIL shower. They are still upset. :bighug; I hope you get your very own soon!!



for everyone
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  #14  
March 24th, 2013, 10:36 PM
Beautiful Life!
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 1,630
I'm sorry you're down. I'm pretty down today too. If we hadn't m/c in Dec., we would have been due around July 25th too. And a friend of mine is at the hospital right now being induced to have her baby. And with all I've had happen in the last month, I just feel like being on pity party today. So thought I would tell you I'm right there with you and it's ok to have a downer kind of day. Praying for your BFP this cycle though! We're all here for you if you just need to talk!
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  #15  
March 24th, 2013, 11:34 PM
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Join Date: Feb 2013
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I'm sorry I really hope this is your month !!!

I feel like everyone my age is pregnant "on accident" and here I am wanting a baby and its taking some time...

Life is so testing. You can do it!! I have faith that you're next!
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Stopped BCP & began TTC in January 2013- no ovulation, no cycles for 3 months
May-July 2013- provera cycles with no ovulation
August/September 2013-50 mg clomid cycles with no ovulation
October 2013- SA revealed low motility--referred to RE
January 2014- DHs repeat SA came back "normal"! I was diagnosed with PCOS
February 2014- IUI #1 on Valentine's Day with 2 mature follicles- BFN
March 2014- BCP to clear up cysts
April 2014- IUI #2 on 4/9/14 with 3 mature follicles and 3 catching up! BFP at 10dpiui!!!!!! So thankful!!! Beta #1 @ 13 DPO- 167; Beta #2 @ 15 DPO- 384!

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  #16  
March 25th, 2013, 06:33 AM
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 1,722
Its okay to feel down, I have 2 SIL who are prego right now and wish it was me. I have a tough time trying to help plan the showers and stuff and wish I could get out of it, but wouldn't want someone to do that to me, so I go along.. Just wanted to let you know you are not alone and your time is coming!!
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  #17  
March 25th, 2013, 06:54 AM
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What you are feeling is totally normal and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Please cheer up and know that we are always here for you!
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  #18  
March 25th, 2013, 08:09 AM
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Katydae88 not meaning to sound rude just trying to help but hows your diet I have read adding more fresh fruits, veges & cutting out some things like caffeine, sugars, and saturated fats boosts your chances of getting pregnant by a bunch my cousin is a thin girl but the dr told her to start taking prenantals, load up on fresh fruits & veges, exercise daily even if its just walking, and lose 20 lbs (I didnt think she had that much to lose like I said she is thin) and she got pregnant right away you may want to try that. I am trying to do the same myself. If you are doing all that and still not conceiving you may want to ask your dr about putting you on something like clomid or some fertility drug mayde it will up your chances, but I do know how you feel my son Cayden (my only child) was stillborn he had a cord accident, I was full term and everybody else around me was getting pregnant and their baby be perfectly fine which I am so happy none of them had to go thru this. I hope that helps I pray for you to get your bfp be praying for us also. lots of baby dust to you I truly hope I helped. fx for you good luck
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