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March 25th, 2013, 12:39 PM
blakesgirl09's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Texas
Posts: 2,710
I'm sorry. This post turned into something that it shouldn't have because I didn't think before I posted. I apologize to all of you and I love you all.

Last edited by blakesgirl09; March 28th, 2013 at 05:46 PM. Reason: Turned into something it shouldn't have.
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March 25th, 2013, 01:13 PM
dlammers's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Norfolk, NE
Posts: 2,952
That is very true...it all hurts the same. I also come here for support and also to encourage everyone. I love having having someone to talk to about all this stuff...dh can only help me so much!
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March 25th, 2013, 01:18 PM
vtjenn's Avatar Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 35
in total agreement! I know I don't post much, but i am super excited to be a part of this board and get equally excited to share good news, and hear everyone else's good news. Like you, i feel every ladies pain when it doesn't happen for you that month. We are all here to support each other, and that includes the good and the sad :-)
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March 25th, 2013, 01:32 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 1,246

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March 25th, 2013, 02:22 PM
Faith=2xBlessed's Avatar PrettyCrispy Scrunchy Mom
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Rome , ny
Posts: 3,655
I agree! Sooo glad to have you girls!
*thank you kiliki for my awesome siggy*
Layla Marie & Savannah Rose born on December 19th 2013
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March 25th, 2013, 02:41 PM
Jibby's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Hell, also known as Arizona ;)
Posts: 1,406
I havent been here long but I am SO greatful for the kindness and validation and information. i havent been trying long and sometimes I tell myself I dont have a right to be upset yet. But you are right...this crap is HARD. I dont know how some of you who have been going at it for so long do it. Everyone here is wonderful!
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March 25th, 2013, 02:44 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: TN
Posts: 5,592
That is why I love being on here so much!!! You ladies are amazing!!! The way we all come around each other and love on each other and encourage each other is amazing!!! I am proud to say that I am your co-host!!! Whether you are going through your first cycle post birth control/IUD or your 20th it doesn't matter. It still hurts to not get pregnant and see that nasty bfn. I truly hope that ya'll understand that this is a safe place where we can come to vent, whine, complain, and rant all we need to. It hurts me to think that someone would bad mouth this great group of ladies that are so near and dear to my heart. Love ya'll so much!!!

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March 25th, 2013, 02:52 PM
Wanta.number2's Avatar Hi, I'm Tiffani!
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,260
Even though I don't post much anymore, I do keep an eye on you guys and I love to see the BFPs and share advice and support when I can. Its sad that poster could be so selfish and have anything negative to say about such a great group of ladies!
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March 25th, 2013, 04:13 PM
Beth2008's Avatar mommy in the making
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 606
I love these boards, because this is a place to vent about the hard times in ttc. I'm very happy for anyone who gets their bfp, but when I get a bfp it hurts the same everytime.

Thank you *Kiliki* for amazing siggy!

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March 25th, 2013, 05:55 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 1,722
I totally agree with you! It is hurtful no matter how many months you have been trying, to see a BFN. I love coming on here for support and answers to my many questions and I always hope the best for all you ladies.
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March 25th, 2013, 07:23 PM
Ready for #1
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Mi
Posts: 202
I love this place! (I was on another site before I found JM. The women there were just plain mean and rude.) I haven't been here long, but I felt welcomed right away. Without any judgment. And I am willing to listen to every single one of you "whine" and "complain" all you want. That's what I come here for. I know when I'm having a bad day, I can see how all of you are doing in your cycles, give and get advice, and just get and give all the support we all need. < that's why we are all here!
I am so happy to have you ladies in my life. I have come a long way in my short time here. I was giving up hope, and with everyone's support I KNOW it will happen soon
As far as I'm concerned, if someone doesn't want to listen to us "whine" and "complain" just go somewhere else! You don't have to read the things we post about. We are all here for support and encouragement, not to have some go behind our backs to bad mouth us.

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March 25th, 2013, 07:40 PM
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Keizer, OR
Posts: 263
You know I will have to admit when I was pregnant with my first surro I felt bad talking about my pregnancy with her child or my pregnancy with my own child until I just flat out asked her if it bothered her and she responded with "What makes me mad is the people that can have children that don't really care to but then I stop and think that's not their fault I can't be pregnant and I have no right to be mad at them, so it goes with out saying that yes I'm a little jealous that you can get pregnant and I can't but if you couldn't that would mean I would be that much further away from having my own"
So though I can understand why some would be bitter about not getting a BFP when they have been trying for months and then someone new comes on the board and they get their BFP 2 months after trying, that doesn't give them any right to say mean things or be rude. We are all her trying to get our own BFP and if that takes 2 months or 22 months we should all be supportive of each other because that's what we are here for! I don't know what I would do if I didn't find this group and had people to talk to about my CM or temps

My Ovulation Chart
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March 25th, 2013, 08:35 PM
hotpinkheels's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 4,000
Just checking in here and read this...I know I was only with you ladies for a short time but I felt so supported here. And I learned soooo much. I still think about you all and check in on everyone you are a great group.
Baby Heels 11.6.13
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March 25th, 2013, 10:38 PM
Gamer_Princess's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 4,034
I completely agree with you. TTC is tough whether the 1st or 100th month and so on. I do not know what post you are talking about but I understand completely. You have a safe place here and I promise you, we stick together 100%, so if you find somethign offense or if someone is bothering you then they deal with the rest of us as well

Do not let stupidity get to you. One day you will be able to help someone along the way that was rather lost or confused about so much. Infertility sucks but it is a journey as well. Taking control of infertility is HUGE step and takes a very strong woman/couple to do so.

This is a safe haven for vents, excitment, and annoucments I love when someone gets a and almost cry when someone does not. I feel so connected to each of you that it goes without saying that I have found some of the best friends I could not have otherwise if I were not on this path.

You have a heart of gold and when you see your baby for the first time, all of this will have been worth it.

Love ya girl
TTC since 2010


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March 25th, 2013, 11:04 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 3,387
I agree... I hesitate to complain sometimes because I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, but I truly believe you girls care about me as much as I care about y'all!! I think about y'all many times throughout the day just like any other friends!! I don't mind when anyone complains, so I figure y'all don't mind when I do

Love y'all!!
Stopped BCP & began TTC in January 2013- no ovulation, no cycles for 3 months
May-July 2013- provera cycles with no ovulation
August/September 2013-50 mg clomid cycles with no ovulation
October 2013- SA revealed low motility--referred to RE
January 2014- DHs repeat SA came back "normal"! I was diagnosed with PCOS
February 2014- IUI #1 on Valentine's Day with 2 mature follicles- BFN
March 2014- BCP to clear up cysts
April 2014- IUI #2 on 4/9/14 with 3 mature follicles and 3 catching up! BFP at 10dpiui!!!!!! So thankful!!! Beta #1 @ 13 DPO- 167; Beta #2 @ 15 DPO- 384!

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March 26th, 2013, 09:31 AM
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Alabama
Posts: 251
I agree with you girls . . . if she feels that way then why stay on the board I have been trying for 11 months and the first neg hurt as bad as the last. What that lady needs to realize is that not everyone feels the same as her and she must have a really cold heart to say something like that. so don't let her rant get you ladies down we all in the same boat you keep trying complaining whining what ever you want to do we are all here for one another love ya'll girls
blakesgirl09 likes this.
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March 26th, 2013, 09:43 AM
Super Mommy to be
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 1,146
I have only been trying for 4 months so not nearly as long as some ladies and I truly feel for those who have been trying for 1 year or more..... As disappointed as I felt for my first few months of AF showing up I'm sure their frustration level is waaay up there. I really do feel for them.

However at this point when I read someone saying they got their BFP even though it makes me long to feel that excitement and I feel a twinge of pain cause it hasn't happened for me like I thought it might, it truly gives me hope and I feel such genuine happiness for them.... I teared up at someones BFP post earlier when they said they got their BFP
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~
Phillipians 4:6
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
Hebrews 11:1
Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.
Romans 8:28
And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.
'Blessings' by Laura Story (What if trials of this life, are your mercies in disguise)
Glorious Ruins
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March 27th, 2013, 12:19 PM
Seaweed's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Brampton, Cambridgeshire, UK
Posts: 564
Only just saw this post! WOW. And I have only been ttc for like 3 cycles, I would have got really angry and probably argue if I had seen the post that you saw. I LOVE this forum, because on this torturing 2ww only you guys understand what I am going though, cause you are going through the same. Thank you all ladies for helping me through this and always being there and I will always be there for you :-)
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March 27th, 2013, 01:07 PM
Davis720's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 545
It is hard ttc, no matter where you are. as for me, since this is cycle 11, it does sting to see other women get their bfps within much less time, but I just have to keep faith that God has a plan for our family and won't give us a baby until the time is right.

It does make you a little insecure, wonder what's wrong with you when you see other women get their bfps and there's not really an explanation why you aren't. Ok, when I say "you," I mean ME!

But all the women I've seen on this site have been so very supportive thru my ENTIRE journey, and I'm so grateful to know I can even take a break (because, yes it CAN get overwhelming some days watching all the women i care about on their ups and downs AND deal with my own) and come back and still have wonderful ladies cheering for me/with me.

Anyway, I can understand both sides, and I have had my own share of whining (whether it was a few cycles in or many more!) and there are def times where we all roll our eyes at certain posts, but I'd have to say that this board is what you make of it. If you come in with an open, supportive attitude, show you're interested in others, it'll likely be reciprocated. Sounds like someone was unfortunately having a bad day, which I also understand (we've all been there)!

I love you ladies, and def think JM is the best ttc forum I've seen! And thats my
cutenurse24 and mandy1986 like this.

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March 27th, 2013, 04:34 PM
Lucy S.'s Avatar POAS addict
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Bay area CA
Posts: 6,047
I do agree that it was harsh and I don't know what forum you saw this on BUT I do need to say this and hope maybe show the other side a little bit...

When you have been TTC for a very long time it hurts your soul. Each BFN leave a deeper and deeper scar and you loose more and more hope every single cycle that it will ever happen. One BFN hurts like He** but after the 10th? It burns. You watch others move on and not only get BFP but actually BIRTH a baby and sometime even TWO children while some sit out just hoping for a BFP. Can you imagine?
Some people become bitter and to be honest, if they stay on their forum I think they have the right to vent. It's their safe area and a place where they can share their hurt and have other people who have BTDT listen and console them. I don't need that support and the area where I hang out here is very supportive and kind to all. And to be honest there are women on there that amaze me because I don't know if I could be so supportive. Many have never been pregnant and trying for YEARS. Many have had failed IVFs and many losses and recently one of our ladies had her baby born sleeping full term after TTC for a very long time (see my sig). Can you say your hurt is the same? It's just not the same as TTC for a few cycles y/k? *I* feel like I don't have a right to complain around them even with all the cycles and losses I have had!

I totally think everyone here has a right to complain and should get supported here! Thats what this forum is for! And I try to be the one to support everyone too and I mean it wholeheartedly.
But I would just suggest staying off forums where there is a lot of scars and hurt and let them be. Let them vent. Are they supposed to keep quiet because someone might lurk and be offended? There would be very little to talk about on those board I would think. Because there is a lot of talk of emotional hurt as well as graphic talk about procedures and loss. Someone is bound to get offended and I don't think they should be censored because of lurkers y/k?
Now if they were calling people out by name or referring to specific posts, I could see that as wrong and a violation. But any woman who has been trying for a long while will have moments where is sucks to hear someone with less problems complain. It's like complaining to a homeless person that your home is too small y/k?
And honestly infertility is an ugly place. It can bring the strongest couples to their knees (divorce rate is much higher) and the most optimistic woman screaming to God why. That hurt is one you can't know unless you have BTDT.

Pressing submit and hoping you lovely ladies understand what I am trying to say and not take this offensively. I love you gals.
Due with #3
10 IUIs= one confirmed /IVF= BFN / FET= / FET2= Baby!
My blog

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