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New here but read a lot of posts and it seems everyone is pretty nice. This might be a wine post kinda. TTC info.... I stopped BC in October 2011 in hopes of conceiving a child. My fiance is 32 and I am 29. He has 4 kiddos that live with us from a previous marriage and future child(ren) were talked about from the very start. Well I guess I'm infertile...yuck. It is most likely my issue due to symptoms and his previous kiddos. My cycles are never the same and that makes it hard to catch the egg not to mention the embarrassing fact that I don't know how people BD every other day. My vagina would be raw and probably bleeding if I tried that.....lube helps but its still pretty sensitive. I try charting my cycles but I am not very good at it...I am currently on day 63. I think I've geared up to ovulate 2 times in this cycle but have not accomplished the task. I haven't had any reproductive tests done but comprehensive blood panels done for other reasons were all with in normal range. UGH so really I am just annoyed that doctors won't do anything because I am considered low income uninsured patient they just brush it off like I don't matter. Now I am sure people are thinking if you don't have money or insurance its stupid to try but my hubs has insurance and a job. Him and the 4 kiddos are insured and baby would be too. After everyone is fed and housed etc. that leaves not a whole lot of money to do ttc testing. Plus the kids' mom only pays us $75/mo which the state takes half of for facilitating or whatever and we end up with like $35/mo so the financials are really all on us. Ok so I guess I'm just feeling sorry for myself today and I don't usually get like this but its beginning to feel like this will never happen.
Firstly, it's good that you're charting! Even with whacky cycles, the fact that you're [attempting] to pinpoint when you're ovulating is the best thing that you can do without going into further testing. I'm assuming that you're using OPKs as well, since you mentioned that you've "geared up" to O but haven't? that's good too, since it tells you the best time for sex to increase your chances. (Who wants to have to time sex for every other day? Not this gal!)
Another thing you mentioned is lube. That will actually kill sperm and also make it harder for them to move. Even if it's not spermicidal lube! Get rid of it. If you still need something, there's a product called PreSeed that is sperm-friendly. (We all need a little help sometimes )
Paying out of pocket sucks. Mostly because you see women around you get pregnant all the time, but they don't have to pay for it, so why should you? I mean, life just isn't fair! Why should one person have to pay and another not? Who makes this decision? No way around it. It blows. Big time. Testing is expensive, but it's really the only way to find out what it is that is missing piece of the puzzle. You mentioned bloodoword, but what day of your cycle was it on? (That can make a difference!) What hormones were they testing? Will you be covered under your fiances insurance once you're married? Have you looked into what procedures would be covered once you are under his?
Finally, it's not necessarily one person or another. It's an issue that you're facing together, so you shouldn't place blame on yourself (or him). Even if he has kids from a previous marriage, it doesn't mean that he can't have issues now. (My DHs numbers have been dropping at an alarming rate with no explanation as to why. Yet we've managed to get pregnant twice in the past - one child though.) We always assumed that we had mostly female fertility issues, since we already knew about my whacky cycles, but it turns out that wasn't the case! A semen analysis is actually the cheapest test that any doctor will run for fertility, and can rule out half of any potential issues. If you want, that's a good place to start. From there, I'd ask for CD3 blood tests for you. Then you can decide if it's worth it to pursue further testing, or wait until you can afford it / have insurance to cover it.
It's OK to have days like that. We all go through it! I hope that you guys are able to figure something out soon!
Thanks for the reply I don't blame myself at all. It happens to anyone. I am just pretty certain its my fertility...that doesn't bug me or anything I was just saying that for clarification. I also realize I could be wrong but my gut has said this would be a problem long before I started trying. I guess I just feel like I've always known it would be hard for me. As far as lube I don't use it all the time and have been meaning to order preseed I just haven't yet I don't know why.
The only blood testing I had done was a metabolic blood panel she wanted to look at my thyroid and liver I think. It wasn't any reproductive hormones that I know of and I didn't see the results to see what was all tested. Yes, I could be covered when we get married and his insurance can cover fertility testing and procedures if we select that option and pay some more money which we will when it gets to that point but that could be a long while.
I do use OPK's I do get pretty good positives when I get it and I've always had a line on the test and they differ in shades so I'm pretty sure the positives are positive. The positive is usually followed by a one day spike in temperature by about a degree F but it never stays elevated. I do have EWCM sporadically. The pattern on my chart is a pretty steady baseline around 97.2F then I'll get +OPK and in 24-48 hour my temp goes to like 98.2+ and then the next day its back at baseline. It has done this 2 times in this cycle.
Anyways yes it was just a bad day yesterday for some reason. I'm fine today after a little pity party probably because my sister posted about finding out the gender of her second child. Happy and sad for her because its really going to be VERY hard for her to take care of them 2 kids.
Aww, don't worry about "whiny posts" like 50% of my posts are me whining about how I'm on CD__ (insert high number, today would be 97) and how it feels like my cycles will never come back after the pill. A suggestion I can think of for you is: seeing if your doctor will do tests for you to see if you have PCOS. This is what I am doing, because any fertility specialists are out of the question for me & DH since we have not been trying anywhere near a year, we just got engaged in june last year, I just stopped the pill jan 1st., we're in our early twenties, etc. etc. So me getting PCOS tests and exams will give me some information and is covered under normal services and not fertility services. Especially since I've read that for some people the only sign is irregular periods! And if I DO turn out to have it, I could get on Metformin for the insulin resistance that comes with it, which also coincidentally helps lots of women with PCOS ovulate. Maybe you could look into that as well to find out why your cycles are wonky?? It is more likely to be the type of service you could get at a clinic or for a low price, vs. fertility testing which can be expensive and can be hard to get if you don't meet their qualifications.