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How to cope with not conceiving yet and hating your job at the same time?


Forum: Trying to Conceive

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  #1  
May 1st, 2013, 11:32 AM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: TX
Posts: 567
I have been looking for a new nanny job. Just can't find one that pays the same or close to it.
TTC for a year. Problem is husbands diabetes. He is somewhat working on that.
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  #2  
May 1st, 2013, 12:40 PM
Regular
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 64
Sorry you are having a hard time. I definitely know how that goes. DH and I have also been ttc for about a year unsuccessfully. I'm also not in love with my job (have explored everything under the sun from tv, to music industry, to chef, to nanny, to nursing, and now I'm a CNA for the time being) - I have a lot of anxiety about how I think I should be further along in my career/family/life in general, when I compare myself to a lot of my friends. I also have depression so it's really easy for me to get into a tailspin about it all. I can't believe I'm about to say this because it can sound so cliche, but it's so so important to just take things one step at a time. Not let it all mount up until it's overwhelming.

Just do little things for yourself each day that make you feel good about yourself - even if you don't feel like it. I'm feeling particularly depressed at the moment and am forcing myself to go to the gym, even though it's the last thing I want to do, but I know that I will be happy afterwards and feel like I can still accomplish positive things even when all I want to do is curl up and feed into my self-pity/anxiety/impatience about ttc.

Anyway - I hope you feel better and you can always vent here. I will listen and understand because I know how it feels
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  #3  
May 1st, 2013, 01:19 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: TX
Posts: 567
I'm going for a jog this evening. That always helps.
I've been a nanny for 7-8yrs and this is the first family I have gotten so frustrated with. I won't tell them though cause I need to keep this job til I find something else. The kids are so whinny, something is very off about the dad ( not always comfy around him), the mom can't put 2 and 2 together a lot and the way they do things sometimes is redicilous and I feel sorry for the kids at those times. Anyways.

Last edited by Sarah_K; May 1st, 2013 at 02:02 PM.
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  #4  
May 1st, 2013, 01:56 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: TX
Posts: 567
Belle- thank you so much. By the way I have bad anxiety too.
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  #5  
May 1st, 2013, 01:57 PM
Orangebrittainy's Avatar Queen of Randomocity
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Small Town NC
Posts: 4,823
I know how you feel. I used to love what I do, but lately, I just stay frustrated with it.
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  #6  
May 1st, 2013, 02:00 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: TX
Posts: 567
Is it wrong to stay with a nanny job for the $ ?

Orange- what do you do?
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  #7  
May 1st, 2013, 03:07 PM
Regular
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 64
I don't think there's anything wrong with staying with this family until you find something else. They need you as much as you need money, so I would just start looking for another job in my free time. Gotta look out for #1 (as dh would say...*rolls eyes*)
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  #8  
May 1st, 2013, 03:13 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: TX
Posts: 567
This fam would be lost without me. I do twice as much as asked.
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  #9  
May 1st, 2013, 04:57 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 3,382
I'm starting to feel the same way about my job. I love being a nurse, but the particular place I work is getting a little ridiculous. I'd love to find something else, but what I do now pays well and the experience is going to look really good in the future. Right now I'm just waiting it out until I have enough experience to move into something I'd like more. I know how you feel though...it's like I hardly enjoy what days I have off because I start having anxiety about going back to work and at the same time TTC seems hopeless...just not working out! I hope things get better for you and something better comes along...let me know if you ever want to talk!
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Stopped BCP & began TTC in January 2013- no ovulation, no cycles for 3 months
May-July 2013- provera cycles with no ovulation
August/September 2013-50 mg clomid cycles with no ovulation
October 2013- SA revealed low motility--referred to RE
January 2014- DHs repeat SA came back "normal"! I was diagnosed with PCOS
February 2014- IUI #1 on Valentine's Day with 2 mature follicles- BFN
March 2014- BCP to clear up cysts
April 2014- IUI #2 on 4/9/14 with 3 mature follicles and 3 catching up! BFP at 10dpiui!!!!!! So thankful!!! Beta #1 @ 13 DPO- 167; Beta #2 @ 15 DPO- 384!

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  #10  
May 2nd, 2013, 07:01 AM
Seaweed's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Brampton, Cambridgeshire, UK
Posts: 537
I hate my job too, but not looking for a new one as, here at least, you need to have been employed with a company for a year before you can go on paid maternity leave. There is one thing I think of and it keeps me going: I am making money for my future baby! :-)
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  #11  
May 2nd, 2013, 07:56 AM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: TX
Posts: 567
I'm just more aggravated with it every day.
If anyone has tips on how to get a 4 yr old to listen and not whine like a 1 yr old when he doesn't get his way, feel free to share. This is the first kid in my 8+ hrs experience that does not listen and pouts and acts like a 1 yr old.
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  #12  
May 2nd, 2013, 08:03 AM
inyourhonor's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Metro Detroit
Posts: 17,592
I'm sorry I hope your DH starts putting more effort into taking care of himself with his diabetes (if that's the case, either way, I hope its resolved!)

As for getting a 4 year old to stop whining, unless his parents are doing the same thing that you're doing, it's going to be hard. He's probably getting whatever he wants with them and you're the only one disciplining him. It's a tough situation. I do hope you can find a better family that pays equal or better than what you're at now. *hugs*
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  #13  
May 2nd, 2013, 08:09 AM
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Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: TX
Posts: 567
The parents let him get away with whining. Not all the time but more then they should.
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  #14  
May 2nd, 2013, 08:29 AM
inyourhonor's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Metro Detroit
Posts: 17,592
Yeah, we have that issue with one of my kids (coincidentally, my 4 year old) after they get back from visiting with grandparents. They get away with pretty much anything there, but when they're back at home, the rules are set into action and it can take a good day or two to stop his behavior. Very frustrating.
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  #15  
May 2nd, 2013, 08:34 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,138
Can I just add that no matter what at age 3, 4, 5, 6+ you are going to have whining regardless of the parents ways of dealing with it vs. your way. They are being a kid, and it's normal. We may not like it but it's a part of parenthood. Every child is different. When either of my kids act out or have an overly whiny day I tell myself "They arent purposely giving ME a hard time, they are having a hard time coping with being a child". We all have bad days, and for a child that could show by acting out, being emotional or just whining.

As a mom the toughest ages has been 3s and 4s. It's hard because they struggle big time, and I dont say this to be mean but until you are a mother of that age it's hard to understand. I get that you are a nanny but being a mother 24/7 is completely different.

When he's having a whiny time, stop what your doing, give him a hug and just talk to him. See if there is something else bothering him. Take a minute to just talk to him.
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  #16  
May 2nd, 2013, 08:38 AM
inyourhonor's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Metro Detroit
Posts: 17,592
I do agree with that! My 7 year old can be whiny over some of the silliest things. Yesterday it was because his younger brother looked at him when he walked by his room. Seriously.
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  #17  
May 2nd, 2013, 09:15 AM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: TX
Posts: 567
You don't reward a kid for misbehaving and be all lovey dovey with them. I do talk to them about things and have the oldest tell me what he should have done or said. No matter what I do he whines every single day and more then a few times. I've watched plenty of kids and know how its done. With them for 45+ hrs a week.
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  #18  
May 2nd, 2013, 09:22 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,138
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sarah_K View Post
You don't reward a kid for misbehaving and be all lovey dovey with them. I do talk to them about things and have the oldest tell me what he should have done or said. No matter what I do he whines every single day and more then a few times. I've watched plenty of kids and know how its done. With them for 45+ hrs a week.


It's not rewarding them it's offering compassion. I have a degree in early childhood and specialize in behavioral development, worked MANY years with parents and children with behavior problems before I choose to stay at home with and have two kids of my own. That's ok, I must not know what I'm talking about


If you hate your job leave but please dont think that you will never deal with your own child whining because you wont "allow it". It doesnt work like that. Also you may be a nanny 45 hours a week, I am a mom 168 hours a week. A lot can happen in those extra 123 hours you are not with them.
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  #19  
May 2nd, 2013, 01:36 PM
mom2ariana's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 570
just try not to stress too much - it's hard on your body and on baby when you do conceive. i have bad anxiety and just recently stopped meds to try for a 2nd baby - my job is very frustrating at times and stressful (corporate america) ... sometimes i worry about how i will cope when i'm pregnant. working out or jogging definitely helps good luck!
itsjessicarose and Sarah_K like this.
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  #20  
May 3rd, 2013, 07:47 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: TX
Posts: 567
I've signed on care.com again. . Sad in a way. But it's gotta be done.
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