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Forum: Trying to Conceive

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  #1  
June 1st, 2013, 12:32 PM
hopelessly wishing's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: California
Posts: 494
So last cycle me and my dh tried to concieve more then we have ever tried before. but of course AF came for her lil visit. i was soo crushed i decided not to try this cycle. at one point i even decided to just give up all together since my dh can not ejaculate during bd and knew it was impossible.. but then i just figured i would try the self artificail insemenation this cycle. but just yesterday i find out that my sister who is 5 yrs older then me is pregnant. she has been living off of welfare for the past 6 yrs with her first 2 kids and treats them soo bad. even telling them the kids she wishes they were dead. Even sadder (if thats even a word) shes pregnant by this low life drunk that she just met 2 months ago.
DISCOURAGED MUCH?? YES!!!!!!
Think to myself if i was with someone else it'd happen already. but i love my dh sooo much. yesterday was our 5yr anniversary.. i would never leave him. i just pray i become a mother before i turn 30 in 2 yrs..
:'(
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  #2  
June 1st, 2013, 12:50 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 3,402
I'm sorry you are down. It always seems to happen that way, huh? The people who really don't seem fit for parents can pop them out like crazy and the couples who hold a lot of love and stability struggle. It doesn't make much sense and I see it happen all the time! It really make us TTCers even more frustrated! Hang in there and don't give up. I'm not going to say don't stress, because I know how impossible that is! Keep us updated and if you ever need to talk we are here! I'm equally frustrated and I truly feel your pain!!
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  #3  
June 1st, 2013, 01:10 PM
~ Nicole ~'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 4,925
I am so sorry to hear what you are going through. I know how hard it is to see family get pregnant before you especially when struggling with fertility. I had to go through the same thing with my sister getting pregnant with a man she barely knew and my cousin getting pregnant with a man who is heavily into drugs. Life is so unfair sometimes. I think in these cases it is just better to distance yourself from your sister if you can. You don't need to hear about her pregnancy especially if the circumstances are bad.

It is a wonderful thing that you stick by your man. I have been with my DH for almost 13 years and my family acts like we don't deserve children because we don't make as much $ as my siblings. But you know my sister has been married 3 times and I have stuck with the same man through thick and thin. Your sister may be pregnant now but how great is her pregnancy going to be with an alcoholic baby daddy who probably won't be there for her and no stable income/environment. What you have is so much greater than what she will ever have. When you finally have your baby everything will be so much better than what your sister has. When you finally get pregnant it will be all that much more rewarding because you wanted it so much more and worked so much harder for it and you have a man to support you through it all. I have been through pregnancy with no fertility issues and now we will TTC with fertility issues and I can tell you that I appreciate everything so much more than I ever did before. Your child will have that much better of a life because he was so much wanted.

I don't know your fertility circumstances other than what you have said in a few posts but is there any chance you can see a professional for IUI? That sounds like it could be a solution for you and help you conceive.
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  #4  
June 1st, 2013, 03:47 PM
hopelessly wishing's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: California
Posts: 494
Thanks ladies.
in past postS i have mentioned that ive been pg twice but lost both. ive been with my dh for 5 years now and have never gotten pg. in the beginning we were really sexually active but not trying nor preventing. he has always had the same problem. it didnt bother me then. but as the years kept coming in our relationship it strted weighing on me. now that its been 5 years and i am 28 its really weighing heavy on me.
i keep telling myself that hes the reason why we havnt concieved because i do not want to face the fact that i might be "broken". but fact of the matter is i just dont know if im broken or not because in our 5 years hes probably ejaculated during bd in me i'd say 5 times. i recently went to my female doctor and she says everything looks ok. not to mention the fact that i have recently lost 50 lbs. my weighT is still not perfect but i watch my food intake and walk/jog everyday 3+ miles. i am going to be ordering the self insemenation kit next week and try that for a couple months and if that doesnt work, it will definately be time to see a specialist.

i told my dh i was sad it happened to her and not us.. and his response was. "dont be discouraged. i will give you a baby and it will be from someone who loves you with all his heart and we will be a happy family."

surprisingly enough i am not as jealous aS i thought i would be because of her circumstances and mine. its like night and day with us. she lives in a 1 bd rm apt with 7 ppl, no car, no job. i have a house, we have 2 cars and good careers. (not trying to brag) the only thing its making me want to do is get pg faster. like asap! lol.

ahhhhhh (long sigh) LIFE!!
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  #5  
June 1st, 2013, 04:26 PM
~ Nicole ~'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2010
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Has your DH gone to see a doctor? do you know why he is unable to ejaculate? He should really see a doctor. If he is unable to ejaculate during intercourse than maybe you should consider IUI. It is not too expensive and they will put the sperm right where it needs to be at the exact right time. My sister did it and got pregnant the first try every time. As far as the self insemination I have heard of several people on different forums try this and I also saw it on TV once and it did not work for anyone. Maybe the semen sample is bothered too much and too many sperm get killed. I don't know the reason but it does not seem to work too well. IUI is probably your best bet. If nether you nor DH have any other fertility issues than IUI should work fairly quickly for you.
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  #6  
June 1st, 2013, 04:32 PM
Jibby's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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i feel your pain girl. Its ok to be angry, let down and frustrated. *hugs*
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  #7  
June 1st, 2013, 04:57 PM
~ Nicole ~'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I hope you and your DH can work towards finding a solution to conceiving. Don't give up hope because there are so many options out there than can help you. If ejaculation is the only problem than it should be an easy fix as there are many ways around that.

I know it is hard not to let your sister's pregnancy get to you even when the situation for her is bad. I know when my cousin was accidently pregnant by her drug using boyfriend it felt actually even worse because it is so unfair that the young and irresponsible get a baby when we don't. So I think sometimes that can feel even worse. Try to avoid her as much as you can or avoid hearing about her as much as you can. I know sometimes it temporarly feels better to put that person down but I did that with my cousin and I regretted it later and in the end it actually made me feel worse. Try to hang in there and focus on your relationship and your TTC goals. Soon you will be pregnant also and she will probably be jealous of your good situation.
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  #8  
June 1st, 2013, 05:45 PM
hopelessly wishing's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2013
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Posts: 494
Thanks Nicole..
Your posts have really helped out alot. i have read up much about self insemenation and definately will do so before buying the kit. IUI is something else i will definately be looking into.
Im actually kind of stuck right now. i want a baby soo bad asap, but then was thinking maybe i should wait until we are married. he hasnt asked me only because i have said i do not want to get married. but after he express that he would like to be married eventually it made me want to marry him. he is truely my soul mate. so why not. But marriage wont be until next year if we decide to do it. so should i wait till next year to ttc or get started trying now??
Ugh. life.. why do you have to be soo hard! Lol
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  #9  
June 1st, 2013, 06:15 PM
Lucy S.'s Avatar POAS addict
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Location: Bay area CA
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Like Nicole, I wonder if there is something medically wrong with SO? Has he had his testosterone checked out? Sometimes issues like this could also mean something is really wrong! Is he on anti-depressants? That can do it too.

Even if you decide to wait, please get SO checked out!! It take 56-72 days for any changes. So say he has testosterone issues and you supplement him with clomid- you won't see result for around 3 MONTHS! Same if there are other issues. So do it now if you can! At least get blood work done and try to get him to see a urologist.

My dh has this issue and has low testosterone.
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  #10  
June 1st, 2013, 06:48 PM
hopelessly wishing's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: California
Posts: 494
I think he will be too embarassed to talk to a dr about that. hed probably kill me if he knew i was talking to you ladies about this.. (not for real) lol. but he has no problem ejaculating when he masterbates..in fact it only takes him about 2 minutes or so. it makes me feel like he doesnt enjoy sex with me thats why he cant finish with me. but he promises thats not the case.
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  #11  
June 1st, 2013, 07:24 PM
~ Nicole ~'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2010
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So does he not know why he can't ejaculate during intercourse?

Has your DH expressed that he also wants a child? maybe he is nervous about getting you pregnant and therefor can not ejaculate in you... just a thought

If your DH is on board with having a child now than even though it is embarrassing he really needs to see a doctor. What you describe is not normal. It will be either physical or psychological but either way you have to see a doctor first to figure out the cause and than the solution.

IUI sounds like it could be a really good solution for you since he said he is able to masterbate easily. Unfortunatly that will require him having to go to the doctor. If he want's a child he will have to get over the embarrassment. Everyone has to go to the doctor at some time in their lives for something embarrassing. It is worth talking to him about it. Maybe he will be more willing than you think.

I personally do not see anything wrong with having kids before marriage because only you know the health of your relationship. My sister used to give me a bad time for not being married but than my sister was married 3 times during the entire 12.5 years I have been with my DH. So that proves that being married does not necessarily make your relationship better. Than my brother told me I should not have kids outside of marriage. Well now he is divorced and essentially with two kids outside of marriage. I am not legally married to my DH but I still consider my husband as we have been together almost 13 years. So even though I am not legally married we haved survived many people who have legally married. If you do want to get married that is wonderful but I would not feel bad if you choose to have kids before marriage. You know when is the right time to have kids. The only thing to keep in mind Is if you do set a wedding date and than get pregnant are you ok with possibly having a bump for your wedding. Deciding when to have children will have to be a decision made between you and your DH. Try not to let other people influence you and do what makes you happy.
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  #12  
June 22nd, 2013, 11:29 AM
hopelessly wishing's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: California
Posts: 494
Hello again.
To the ladies who responded to this post.. i just want to update you on something that i am very excited about(:
Well as you read i mentioned that my dh had a problem with ejaculating during sex. well we were doing the bd about two weeks ago and it happened. he ejaculated in me. we were both soo excited and happy(: i dont know if it had anything to do with me purchasing the seld insemenation kit, something he was not really a fan of. lol. but two days after ordering online he was about to do it. Too bad it was no where near my ovulation time
But two day ago i was on my third fertile day and we did the bd and again me ejaculated in me(:
Again we are soo happy. we wi be trying again today since tomorrow i should be ovulating.
what are the chances of becoming pg with sex 3 days before ovulation?
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  #13  
June 23rd, 2013, 02:50 PM
Dolly Lama's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: Baltimore, MD
Posts: 1,765
Quote:
what are the chances of becoming pg with sex 3 days before ovulation?
It would be great if you could squeeze in one or two more BD sessions, but hey, you never know. My last cycle TTC, I was so sure that it didn't work because we missed at least the 3 days leading up to ovulation...obviously I was wrong because I'm due in September.

Good luck to you!
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