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Forum: Trying to Conceive

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  #1  
June 16th, 2013, 02:08 AM
~ Nicole ~'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 4,924
My DH just told me he canceled the reversal on me. I KNEW it was too good to be true. I can't believe I actually believed him this time. He really did go to the doctor and really did schedule the appointment. This is the 4th time he have backed out on me. He canceled the appointment a week ago apparently and did not have the balls to tell me until he went to his parents this weekend and he sent me a facebook message nice way to tell me huh! and now I am at home all alone devastated. I seriously do not know if I am continuing this relationship with him. I will never be able to believe a word he says to me again and I absolutely can not go on in life never having another child. I just feel numb.
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  #2  
June 16th, 2013, 03:35 AM
Papasgirl's Avatar Down Syndrome Pregnancy
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Boston, Ma
Posts: 4,503
OH MY GOSH NICOLE! I cannot believe he did this to you again. I am literally heartbroken for you. What he is doing to you is not only mental torture but just downright mean. I know its easy for me to say this, but if it were me, I don't know if I could stay with a man who could play with my emotions like that. He can't even have an adult conversation with you, he has to FB message you?? I know how badly you want another child. That will never go away. That feeling you have of wanting...with my losses I was experiencing that feeling of never having something I want so badly and with each loss, that got more intense to the point where I felt like I was losing my mind. You should consider how much you want this, how much your relationship with him means, and how much your happiness means to you. Even without the TTC and the reversal, he seems like he mistreats you. My heart is so broken for you. You seem like a really strong woman. I would channel your strength and do what you need to do for YOU for once.
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  #3  
June 16th, 2013, 03:52 AM
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Posts: 2,387
omg I am so sorry! I can't believe he could be so cruel I'm heartbroken for you! I can't believe he told you via facebook! I don't know if I could be with someone that messed with my emotions like that either! I wish I could say something that would make it better but there really isn't anything because that was so ****** of him! It's one thing for him to deny having another baby with you in the first place but to go back and forth so much is uncalled for! Stay strong ((hugs))
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  #4  
June 16th, 2013, 03:55 AM
~ Nicole ~'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Posts: 4,924
Not only that but he took all of his things AND all of our money!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am not even upset I am like F* This F* Him

Now he is giving me this crap all over again about not being able to afford another child!!!!!!!!!! Do you want to know what Mr. I'm So Poor has purchased in the past 9 months.....

Burberry designer clothing totaling at least $5,000
Mac Book $2500
Iphone $500
Unicycle $600
Hair transplant surgery $3,000
A TON of other clothing at least $2,000

I feel beyond discusted right now. My feelings towards him have literally DIED INSTANTLY and that is a lot to say because I had very strong feelings for him after almost 13 years together.

I literally have NO MONEY except the $300 I make a month from cleaning my brother's house. I have no way to pay for anything!
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  #5  
June 16th, 2013, 05:07 AM
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Omg. I am so sorry. That is so cruel. Big hugs to you!!
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  #6  
June 16th, 2013, 05:17 AM
Jessimaaka's Avatar Pink in a house of Blue
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 16,274
Wow. Just wow. I have no words. I can't imagine what you're going through right now. That doesn't help obviously.

At least you know now and don't need to waste anymore time on someone juvenile like that. I am so sorry.
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  #7  
June 16th, 2013, 05:27 AM
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I'm so sorry Nicole.... Wow. Just wow. I can't believe someone would be so hurtful.

Hugs to you... Message me any time you want to talk, I'm so sorry this happened.
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  #8  
June 16th, 2013, 05:58 AM
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I am soo sorry Nicole, you deserve much better. No one deserves to be treated this way. I hope you will find the happiness you so deserve. Sending you a
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  #9  
June 16th, 2013, 06:56 AM
~ Nicole ~'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I have absolutely zero emotions towards him right now. I feel so lied to and betrayed. I seriously think I am done with him. Not because I did not love him and not just because of the baby thing but the fact that he would lie to me or lead me on over and over again and devastate me over and over again. Than on top of that spend money on whatever is important to him than completely blow of the one thing that means the world to me. If he cares that little about how much this means to me than I don't want to be with someone like that.

Oh and the icing on the cake... My period started today! YAY and I have not slept since Friday night.
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  #10  
June 16th, 2013, 08:21 AM
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Nicole, I'm so sorry for you. Sometimes we can be the cruelest to the ones closest to us. I don't know why that is. You would think it's the opposite. You need to talk to him now and tell him exactly how you feel and exactly what you are thinking. Either you will work it out or the two of you won't. But he needs to know where you are at on this.
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  #11  
June 16th, 2013, 09:18 AM
inyourhonor's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I'm so so very sorry I can't imagine the pain, hurt and anger you're feeling. The other ladies have given some good advice. *hugs* I'm so sorry!
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  #12  
June 16th, 2013, 09:58 AM
mom2ariana's Avatar Super Mommy
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OMG Nicole! I can't believe that. When I read your post I was shocked. Im so so so sorry. I can't believe he would do something like that, and to tell you over facebook? that just reminds me of something that an 8th grade boyfriend would have done. we are all here for you. pm anytime you need to talk.
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  #13  
June 16th, 2013, 01:34 PM
Davis720's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 545
Take a breath remember that everything happens for a reason. I want a second child so badly... But you can live with what you have. It is hard being denied a baby, but like I said, there may be bigger plans for you out there that don't involve him good luck.
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  #14  
June 16th, 2013, 01:34 PM
~ Nicole ~'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Now he is trying to tell me he will do the reversal after his NEXT job. He is saying now that he does not want to loose me or for me to have children with anyone else. Yeah he wants me but does not want me to have another child. I can not take this anymore. He has been telling me he would do this reversal since 2009. Every year he delays it another year with some excuse. I don't believe him anymore! I am so embarrassed that I believe him again! I should have listened to everyone last year who told me to leave him.
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  #15  
June 16th, 2013, 01:48 PM
mom2ariana's Avatar Super Mommy
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Posts: 570
maybe you should just take some time away from thinking about TTC, and see if you can be at peace with two children. i know it's really hard when you have your heart set on it, i would be devastated to have to change direction right now. but is it worth losing him over? Idk any other circumstances behind your marriage, just a thought. i hope you get the answers you deserve and need. maybe it wouldn't be such a bad thing to go see a counselor? me and DH had a shotgun wedding, and so we promised our pastor we would finish premarital counseling after the marriage took place. well we liked it so much and it helped so much that we still go every now and again. nothing to embarrassed over! you trusted your DH. don't hold that against yourself.
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  #16  
June 16th, 2013, 09:28 PM
mom2pne's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: Janesville, WI
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I am so sorry! I would be so mad! My dh doesn't want any more kids and doesn't even talk about us trying, but every time he gets an opportunity to get snipped he cancels that appt. Men!!!!???
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  #17  
June 16th, 2013, 10:10 PM
Lucy S.'s Avatar POAS addict
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Location: Bay area CA
Posts: 6,046
oh no Nicole!! I am so sorry
I agree that it's a betrayal and honestly, I would hate for you to wait until *you* can;t have anymore children to leave.
Maybe he needs to have the reversal before you even consider being with him?

Regardless, i wish you the best!!
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  #18  
June 16th, 2013, 10:30 PM
~ Nicole ~'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 4,924
I cant do this anymore. I have been on and off this board for over 2 years now because he has done this to me 4-5 times now. He will promise the reversal than finally when the time come tells me to wait another year. He has been doing this to me since 2009. The only reason I believed him this time was because he actually made and went to the appointment all on his own, brought home the information packet, paid the money, he was even eating healthier, taking his vitamins and protecting his junk from getting hot. He even bought me baby gifts! I can't take it anymore. I have to go through this devastation year after year. I do not have any belief in him anymore. There is no way I can just accept this and try to be with him now because our relationship will just be horrible because I will have so much resentment towards him. Right now I am not talking to him at all but I know he is already having regrets. Im not going back with him with yet another empty promise to have the reversal. He will either reschedule it and see me again for the first time at the appointment or I will just eventually be able to move on.
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  #19  
June 16th, 2013, 11:42 PM
bella88's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: Australia
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Oh I am so sorry to hear this . It sounds like you are doing the right thing. What a terrible thing for him to do to you. It sounds like you have been more than patient and he cannot back out on you again. It's not right
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  #20  
June 17th, 2013, 02:28 AM
Gamer_Princess's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I am so sorry you are going through this
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