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I can't even believe I have to say this.


Forum: Trying to Conceive

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  #21  
September 12th, 2013, 08:36 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2012
Location: USA
Posts: 4,640
Thanks ladies. Honestly most of you are just about spot on with him. We had a huge talk last night. He apologized for things he said in the heat of the argument and that he hurt my feelings. He said he is excited about the fact that we both want to have a baby and that there is the possibility of it happening. He just doesn't want everything to be "planned out". So I really think it is that he was having a freak out moment and got scared about what is going to happen when we have a baby and how it will change our relationship. Which I mean I am too, but I know we are strong enough together to get through anything.
We talked about the fact that I wanted to go back on birth control. I really just felt like I should, more than I want to. The way he said things in the fight made me feel like a fool for trying so hard and wanting it so much, and I figured if it wasn't completely off the table, I would still obsess every month. So I thought if I just got back on BC I wouldn't have anything to think about. So when I explained it to him, he said he would hide or throw away BC if he sees it. He really doesn't want me to take the possibility of a baby off the table. Part of me is still really worried that I am going to just obsess still but I am going to have to try really hard to not think about it as much. So as of right now I have decided that me saying I was going to take BC was my way of being angry at him and kind of getting back for the things he said. It was out of spite, and you should never make decisions when you are angry. So I won't be going on BC as of now.
The main reason I wasn't as upset with him and was able to calm down and forgive him, was because he really stepped it up last night to make me feel special on my birthday. He blind folded me and took me to my favorite restaurant for dinner. He bought me a big ol' drink and a delicious meal. And then afterwards is when we had our talk and apologized for the way he was acting. He really just wants us to enjoy each other for now and let the future unfold by itself. Which I totally get, he just explained terribly when we were fighting so I was extremely angry at him. I guess that's what you get for getting into an argument with a half sleeping SO at 1 in the morning.


But seriously, I want to thank you all so very much. Your kind words, wisdom, and advice really helped me see the bigger picture rather than just the fact that he was being mean and I was mad at him. I really have no idea what I would do without you ladies. When they say TTC strains your relationship, they aren't joking. And I have no idea how couples survive without ladies like you giving advice and helping keep my head level. So knowing how much I need all of you and all of your advice, I am not leaving the board if that's okay with everyone. I probably won't be quite as active as I was but I will still be around trying to offer the same support you all offer me.

Okay, so now that I have ventured into "book" territory as BabyX put it, I will end here. Thanks again ladies.
__________________
TTC my first! - 24th cycle.
We will succeed this month.
We can and will get pregnant.
Stay positive and stress free. Enjoy yourself.









**Thanks Lucy! Love my V-Day Blinkie**

Last edited by hopeful_girl55; September 12th, 2013 at 08:39 AM.
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  #22  
September 12th, 2013, 08:48 AM
BabyX's Avatar TTC #2
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Texas
Posts: 2,037
I like your decision. I'm so glad that he treated you so wonderful last night. Taking a step back here and there almost seems like a must when you've been trying for so long. I've done it several times. I'm just so happy that you're going to keep trying and that you will still be hanging around here and there.
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  #23  
September 12th, 2013, 09:13 AM
~*Tina*~
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 3,986
yay!! im so happy to hear that you guys figured things out and you wont be leaving! men are so sensitive about things sometimes and they have NO idea how to express it! i say just go with it and still "try" even if he doesnt know it. try not to obsess... maybe stop charting or something.
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7/12/13 @6w

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  #24  
September 12th, 2013, 09:22 AM
meld10's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,398
Yay for talking it over and yay for him stepping up to the plate to give you a great Birthday evening. You guys sound like a very strong couple that communicate great together. It's normal for stress to take over sometimes and cause fights but I think you guys managed this like pro's .

I can imagine it being tough with the obsessing, I am not even TTC yet and I obsess with the idea of it coming. I've been reading on tips to help keep the obsessing down, I'll send you some links by PM. Anyways, glad things are better and that you had a nice Birthday. Happy late Birthday by the way .
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6/12/2013- 8 weeks

Last edited by meld10; September 12th, 2013 at 09:35 AM.
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  #25  
September 12th, 2013, 10:04 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2012
Location: USA
Posts: 4,640
Thanks ladies. It was wonderful, I was totally surprised and I think that took me off guard and kind helped me to further calm down, because I knew he was trying at that point. I am not going to chart at all for the next few months. I need to really stick to that too. Its going to be hard, because TTC has really been my life so I have to change my whole routine. You know?


And meld10, it makes me so happy to hear you say you think we communicate well. Sometimes I worry about us and how we fight and everything. We try to talk things out best we can because we feel with the love we have we can get through anything, but sometimes we lose sight of that. I don't believe in giving up and walking away. Once you make a commitment to someone, you stand by it no matter how hard things get. It makes me feel so much to have someone say we communicate well, cause I didn't think we do at all. LOL. But now thinking about it I guess we do.
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__________________
TTC my first! - 24th cycle.
We will succeed this month.
We can and will get pregnant.
Stay positive and stress free. Enjoy yourself.









**Thanks Lucy! Love my V-Day Blinkie**

Last edited by hopeful_girl55; September 12th, 2013 at 11:10 AM.
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  #26  
September 12th, 2013, 01:17 PM
AllyTales's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Upstate NY
Posts: 883
What a hard thing to take in for you, I'm so sorry.
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♥ due with little GIRL June 1 ♥
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  #27  
September 12th, 2013, 04:33 PM
Diamond2009's Avatar Boss Mama
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: T Dot
Posts: 7,506
I am so glad you guys talked and came to a understanding. Happy he made you feel special on your birthday which is what you truly deserve. I have everything crossed for you that u get your BFP soon
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Mommy of 3 blessings here on earth
Juvon 16 Lyric 12 Janiyah 4
& 2 in heaven

Forever in our hearts
Lauren born sleeping July 5th 2012 at 18 weeks
Boo Boo's heart stopped beating at 13 weeks D&C Feb 2013

Hoping & praying for our rainbow baby after 2 back to back 2nd trimester losses


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  #28  
September 12th, 2013, 06:07 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 3,284
Sam!! I just saw this! I am wanting to cry just reading this. You are one of my best TTC buddies on here! I agree that you still belong here and whenever you feel like it, you should check in and update us! I think maybe your DH is just stressed and maybe needs a break from the "trying". So many people get their BFPs when they decide not to try. I am praying this happens for you. Please know we are always here to talk and help you!! Please keep in touch ;( I'm so sad. And happy birthday! Even though today wasn't the greatest for you, I hope you took some time to do something special for yourself because you deserve it!


I just saw your update! I am so thankful things got better and that he is still open to a baby. My DH has freak outs too sometimes... I think it stressed them out more than we realize. Take time, relax, and like you said... Enjoy yourselves. I'm so happy your birthday turned out good!!!
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Stopped BCP & began TTC in January 2013- no ovulation, no cycles for 3 months
May-July 2013- provera cycles with no ovulation
August/September 2013-50 mg clomid cycles with no ovulation
October 2013- SA revealed low motility--referred to RE
January 2014- DHs repeat SA came back "normal"! I was diagnosed with PCOS
February 2014- IUI #1 on Valentine's Day with 2 mature follicles- BFN
March 2014- BCP to clear up cysts
April 2014- IUI #2 on 4/9/14 with 3 mature follicles and 3 catching up! BFP at 10dpiui!!!!!! So thankful!!! Beta #1 @ 13 DPO- 167; Beta #2 @ 15 DPO- 384!


Last edited by Hope2Be13; September 12th, 2013 at 06:11 PM.
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  #29  
September 12th, 2013, 07:05 PM
jjustice12's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Texas
Posts: 626
Im sooooo happy yall was able to talk it out an your not giong on bc. Soooo happy your stickin aroun here. Wouldnt be the same without u
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  #30  
September 12th, 2013, 08:10 PM
Lucy S.'s Avatar POAS addict
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Bay area CA
Posts: 6,042
TTC is the HARDEST thing on your relationship! The divorce rate is higher when TTC and you have been doing this a while!
I am glad things are better with SO! I am so sorry things are so rough
But maybe having this line of communication is what ya'll needed!
HUGS!
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Due with #3
10 IUIs= one confirmed /IVF= BFN / FET= / FET2= Baby!
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  #31  
September 13th, 2013, 06:53 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2012
Location: USA
Posts: 4,640
Thank you ladies. I am feeling so much better about the whole situation and feel like the break is going to refresh me after so many months of disappointment.
__________________
TTC my first! - 24th cycle.
We will succeed this month.
We can and will get pregnant.
Stay positive and stress free. Enjoy yourself.









**Thanks Lucy! Love my V-Day Blinkie**
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  #32  
September 13th, 2013, 02:26 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: TN
Posts: 5,592
I am so sorry my sweet friend that you had that fight and on your birthday of all days. By the way, happy belated birthday!!! I am glad though that you two go to sit down and talk everything out. Talking is huge and guys do bottle things up so much. Enjoy your break from here but I wouldn't totally leave all together. You are an awesome young lady and full of such great advice for these ladies on here. Having said that, you know you can call or text me any time. I am usually up at all hours now thanks to frequent potty visits.
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  #33  
September 13th, 2013, 02:29 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2012
Location: USA
Posts: 4,640
Awh thanks Sarah, that was so sweet! And I won't be leaving totally. Just trying to focus more on everyone else and not me. I can obsess about their TWW instead of mine.
__________________
TTC my first! - 24th cycle.
We will succeed this month.
We can and will get pregnant.
Stay positive and stress free. Enjoy yourself.









**Thanks Lucy! Love my V-Day Blinkie**
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