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  #1  
September 29th, 2013, 05:51 PM
tiffany&co.'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 6,830
I don't even have words. I can't believe I'm not pregnant....again. I really think something is wrong. My next door neighbor and I are REALLY close. We've been walking together every morning talking about how we're both TTC and how our cycles started on the same day, and how awesome it would be if we had the same due date! I talked to her today, and she got her BFP this morning. It was only her second month of not preventing. I put on a smile and tried to be happy but when I got home I just haven't been able to calm down. I have NEVER felt quite this hopeless in my entire life. I really am to my breaking point, I can't do this anymore.

Sorry for the vent...It seems like I do this every time AF shows up. I just don't know where else to go for support. VERY few people know we are TTC, our families have no idea. DH is disappointed but not to the degree I am. He tries to "fix it" when I am crying about it and it usually makes it worse.

I honestly just DO NOT know where to go from here. I am hurting so much. I feel like I'm grieving if that makes sense.

Can somebody just give me a hug?
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  #2  
September 29th, 2013, 05:59 PM
KMO81's Avatar Krista
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 641
(((hugs)))) I'm sorry dear...TTC can be very exhausting and an emotional roller coaster. Most doctors after 5-6 months of actively trying will do testing to find out what the problem could be....but every month is so frustrating that is doesn't happen. How long have you been TTC? Maybe it's time to talk to someone about preliminary tests(sperm count) etc. Do you temp? Use OPKs?
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  #3  
September 29th, 2013, 06:26 PM
bluewren's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 2,515
I'm sorry
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  #4  
September 29th, 2013, 06:39 PM
BamaLove's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: United States
Posts: 307
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  #5  
September 29th, 2013, 09:11 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 2,787
((Hugs!!!)))
I am so sorry you're dealing with this. It's so hard when everyone around gets pregnant so quickly. I'm on month 9 now and not even ovulating. I wish we could just snap our fingers and make our bodies do what they are created to do. More ((hugs)) !!!
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Stopped BCP & began TTC in January 2013- no ovulation, no cycles for 3 months
May-July 2013- provera cycles with no ovulation
August/September 2013-50 mg clomid cycles with no ovulation
October 2013- SA revealed low motility--referred to RE
January 2014- DHs repeat SA came back "normal"! I was diagnosed with PCOS
February 2014- IUI #1 on Valentine's Day with 2 mature follicles- BFN
March 2014- BCP to clear up cysts
April 2014- IUI #2 on 4/9/14 with 3 mature follicles and 3 catching up! fingers crossed!!
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  #6  
September 29th, 2013, 09:20 PM
Mrs.MCH's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 316
{{HUGS}}

Before I got my daughter I literally cried while on the potty everytime I went and got that first bit of AF....then I got angry...can't tell u how many times I threw something in my bathroom...then I got to the give up point...just looked in the mirror at the woman who couldn't seem to do what others did so easily...or at least I thought others did (hadnt discovered places like this board yet). I was so depressed for so long...I felt inadequate as a woman...I didn't understand. We weren't activly trying but not preventing at all really...I didn't get it...I know its a rough feeling..guess everyone of us here can relate tk each other in that way...I just knew this time I couldnt do this allllll by myself...I'm so happy for this board...and I will be wishing everyday that ur time comea very soon!!!!
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  #7  
September 29th, 2013, 09:26 PM
ambitionsofabundance's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Durham, nc
Posts: 200
Hugs...
I know how you feel. Everywhere I turn, I see either new bellies, or +hits! and I get so pissed that we haven't had ours yet! and when the witch shows! I just cry because she wasn't supposed to be here. It will happen honey!
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  #8  
September 30th, 2013, 03:27 AM
meld10's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,190
I am so sorry! Don't feel bad about venting, it's good to let the frustration out.
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6/12/2013- 8 weeks
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  #9  
September 30th, 2013, 05:06 AM
Decemberhill's Avatar Nicole
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 3,802
I'm so sorry.
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Mom to Ava (8) and Layla (6). Bennett Scott due May 19, 2014!
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  #10  
September 30th, 2013, 06:08 AM
~*Tina*~
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 3,702
I'm so sorry aren't you going to the dr soon for an hsg?
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7/12/13 @6w

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  #11  
September 30th, 2013, 06:15 AM
anhoyle's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 1,117
My dh and I tried for 2.5 years to get pregnant with our son. Every month I became more and more depressed, stressed, and anxious. I finally gave up and started working on myself by eating healthy and working out. Boom two months later I was pregnant. I know I hated when people told me this but it's true - stop trying, relax, and have fun with it. I swore up and down something was wrong with us and it was nothing. Dh and I were both tested and nothing was wrong. Try to relax and have faith. I'll be praying for you. It's a tough thing to go through. I remember being so envious of someone who got pregnant that I didn't feel deserved it (single people or ones not even trying). I had to let it go to move on and things started happening. Sending big hugs!
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  #12  
September 30th, 2013, 06:18 AM
Diamond2009's Avatar Boss Mama
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: T Dot
Posts: 7,362
I'm so sorry hun. TTC is very frustrating, but you cant not give up on something you truly want. It will happen when the time is right. I know its easier said then done. How long have you been trying? What are you using?
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Juvon 15 Lyric 12 Janiyah 4
& 2 in heaven

Forever in our hearts
Lauren born sleeping at 18 weeks
Boo Boo's heart stopped beating at 13 weeks

Hoping & praying for our rainbow baby after 2 back to back 2nd trimester losses


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  #13  
September 30th, 2013, 08:50 PM
tiffany&co.'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 6,830
Thanks ladies. I know I'm not alone in how I'm feeling! I'm sorry for all of you that are in the same boat.

To answer some questions - I just started my 9th cycle. Not as long as some, but it feels like an eternity. This has been the most stressful, agonizing 9 months of my life. We use preseed, SMEP, clearblue digis, laying on my back afterwards.

Hubby has been tested and his fertility score was 23 (really good). I have had several things tested which all came out clear. I'm meeting with a new doctor on Nov 8th and he is going to do the HSG and the 7 day progesterone test. I just want to get pregnant without medical assistance. Our insurance isn't going to cover any of it...like, at all. So really we can't afford to do anything major.

This just sucks. Why are so many people able to get pregnant so easily? I honestly have never been so depressed in my life.
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