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O/T - My son's are worrying me...


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  #1  
March 7th, 2014, 01:05 PM
dlammers's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Norfolk, NE
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It's days like this that I wonder whether or not I should have another child...

So, first of all my 8 year old has been getting in trouble a lot at school. Granted, they are silly little things, like talking in line or in the bathroom or laughing in line, or not keeping his hands to himself. But we have tried explaining to him that these are the school rules and he has to follow them. I don't agree with all the things he gets in trouble for but I don't let him know that so that he doesn't go back to school thinking that. Thankfully his grades are good and we don't have a problem there.

But, then we get to my oldest, he's 10 and in the 5th grade. I just got another email from his teacher saying that he is in danger of having to repeat the 5th grade because he is failing 3 classes. I already knew he was failing a couple, but since then he has dropped in another. I have sat with him to help him with homework, checked his planner to make sure he is doing all of his homework and helping him study for tests. His teacher says that he doesn't use his time wisely and has a bad attitude towards his teachers. I totally get that, it doesn't surprise me because he has been copping me attitude a lot lately too. But here's the thing, she keeps asking what we can do to help him....UMMM I DON'T KNOW. There is only so much I can do. I have done what I can do. I suggested maybe they should have a tutor or teacher's aide sit with him during his study time to help him. I can't help him from work. I have grounded him for not getting stuff done, he hasn't played X-box for a long time. Ugh...I feel so bad because I can't figure out where I went wrong. It wouldn't be the end of the world if he has to repeat 5th grade. At this point, I think it might be best for him because obviously he is not understand the stuff now...maybe he needs another year. But I don't want him to think that is the answer...that if you don't get it right the first time, you can just re-do it.

Oh man...sorry this turned into a novel. I am just upset that I can't help him anymore. I am out of ideas of how to show him how important it is for him to pay attention and do well in school. Thank you for listening. I really appreciate it.
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  #2  
March 7th, 2014, 01:14 PM
brandis's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: AR
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Oh, that's tough. We were having an issue with Jaiken (he's 8)... not with school per se, but an issue he was grounded over. He was grounded for a month and every time he repeated the offense, it started over. We changed that strategy to daily. If you offend today, you lose everything but books the rest of today and tomorrow. If you don't offend today, you get your games tomorrow, unless you offend. Maybe you guys could switch the punishment strategy a bit to give him easier to bite off chunks? I think Jaiken was overwhelmed with.. That's SUCH a LONG time, there is no hope... (sounds kinda like TTC. :\) Since we did that, he hasn't offended once. So, maybe switch up your strategy a bit there and then lots of praise for doing the right thing. This parenting thing is tough. Momma!
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  #3  
March 7th, 2014, 01:18 PM
Rainbow Momma's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Was the school able to provide a tutor for him? Is he just not understanding or not doing the work?
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  #4  
March 7th, 2014, 01:22 PM
dlammers's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I don't know if they will give him a tutor or not. His problems are in science, social studies and reading. I think a lot of it is his attitude toward it. He doesn't like it so he's not going to do it. I don't know...hopefully we can get this figured out.
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  #5  
March 7th, 2014, 01:55 PM
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I wish I had advice to offer. I hope he does what he is supposed to girl. Big hugs.
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  #6  
March 7th, 2014, 02:19 PM
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  #7  
March 7th, 2014, 02:56 PM
dlammers's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Thanks everyone!
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  #8  
March 7th, 2014, 04:59 PM
rusticbythesea01's Avatar Steph
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I hope the school can provide a tutor for him & help him out. Maybe he doesn't feel challenged enough? Maybe the teacher(s) should give him more to motivate him. Is he doing good in the other classes?? If so, like you said, he's just not interested and if there is some way to get his attention in those areas, than he would do well in them. I hope you can figure something out with the teacher or tutors.
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  #9  
March 7th, 2014, 05:15 PM
Rainbow Momma's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Steph brought up a good point. My baby sis is a pretty smart kid. I remember her being in grade school and acting up all the time. And it was because she was flat out board because she was well ahead of all the other kids so nothing was grabbing her attention. I mean this girl (i remember this clear as day) picked up "Green eggs and ham" one day and just started reading it exactly as it was on the page and i remember all of us being shocked..she went on to start reading chapter books before she even started kindegarton. The teachers finally realized (plus having alot of push from my mother helped as well) that the reason she was acting up because she was board. they started putting her in advanced classes and boom. whole new kid.
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  #10  
March 7th, 2014, 11:53 PM
swtneka's Avatar Praying for a miracle
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I have this same problem with my son. not the acting out but paying attention in class. he is very advance in math n science but receiving d's n history n he says it's cuz it's boring. the only way I could reach out to him was to find something he really liked (karate) and gave it on a week by week basis. every week he has to turn in tests with a C r higher if he want to take next week class. n I told him if he don't have 80% r higher on report card I'm canceling all together n he will spend after school with a tutor. he straighten up quick!
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  #11  
March 10th, 2014, 03:08 PM
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Has he always struggled in school or is the first year? Is he in one class or does he have a new teacher for every subject?

If he's always struggled, I would have the school do an evaluation. If he truly has a problem that's not DX, it seems little unfair to punish him. If the school won't/can't provide an adult assistant maybe a child in same grade or 6th could help be his study buddy?


I would work as much as you can with teacher and school but push the evaluation. He may require additional services to help him. My oldest has a hard time tracking, looking at the smart board and then looking back at his work paper and then finding the place he left off on the board.
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