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Unfortunately, a few things came up financially and now my husband is completely freaking out. We got into a huge argument on the way home (we're finally back from Brazil). And things on both sides got blown way out of proportion, husband said something about us not being a good match, it really hurt and the fight continued when we got home and poo hit the fan again.
Anyway, we're better now, we managed to talk it out once he got out of ahole mode. But he thinks it's no longer the right time to be trying to get pregnant. I may still post here to say hi to you ladies and stuff, but we'll see.
Oh, Nayna, I'm so sorry. I hope that he's just going through "something" right now and that everything will be great again soon. Maybe he is just stressed that your vacation is over and it's back to work time. My df gets like that at the beginning of the week sometimes. Male pms! ((Hugs))
I'm sorry hun. I hope you don't take this condescendingly, because I don't mean it that way. I've been married 8years, and we've been thru our ups and downs. And during fights weve said things that we didn't mean and blown things way out of proportion. But they always level out again thru talking and compromise until we get to the root of the problem. Just keep the communication open, and keep your heart oopen to him. Money scares men. It is there single fear when it comes to ttc. I'm not the least bit surprised he acted exactly the way he did. Short of the not a good match comments, way put of line. My dh would have reacted exactly the same way. Picked a fight to vent his stress and then started flipping out about ttc. Just talk talk takk with an open heart and without judgment and let this blow over. Let him figure out how yall are going to be fine after this financial issue, and then Ibet hhe'll be back on board. Even better, your marriage will be stronger for it. I've been there. Except I wad already pg, and I was stuck wondering what on earth he wanted me to do. He's staunchly por life. He wad just angry about the circumstances, and was taking it out on me, because he knew it was safe to do so. Not right, or fair, but there it is. Big hugs! I hope things are better soon! I hate fighting with dh.
Bah! Please excuse typos. I'm on my phone. I promise, I do speak proper English. Lol
Thanks girls. At this point he's saying he doesn't know if we should keep trying or not prevent. I know why he said that we may not be a good match. It was partially out of frustration because we couldn't agree and because our ideals about money and stuff are pretty different. He's very money oriented, and while that bothers me, I also see it as a good thing.
The entire fight was because he wants me to commit to finding full time work after we have kids and I just don't want to make that commitment until it happens. I know I will probably work full time after they're in school, but he's so friggin pushy and it makes me stubborn and therein was the biggest problem. He said he wanted things to be fair. It's not exactly fair that I would be the sole caretaker while he's deployed or away or on duty or working 12 hour days either. I know I NEED to work, I have to because I get crazy at home with anxiety and OCD.
I just feel stuck lately and he's not understanding that as well as I'd like. Anyway, we've decided we can find ways to be fair when the time comes. He recently got his orders, and we're staying in Va. I think he wants to wait until he switches to the new command.
I could still be pregnant this time around and, well he's going to be gone next month during my fertile period. Stuff is really just up in the air right now and he keeps throwing things back and forth. I know he's worried about money and stuff, I am a little bit too, but it's because we are the problem. I made a budget and told him about it and if we can stick to it we can breathe easier.
I'm still feeling super upset about it, plus my current job is well...you guys know....and now it's just worse. And I found out a friend of mine in Connecticut passed away suddenly.
Big big hugs! And I completely understand the military lifestyle. I grew up on navy bases. My mom was a teacher. He may very well think he has things easy once the babies get here and you have to hold everything together while he's deployed for 6 months or 18 months....