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Have I missed my chance for May?


Forum: Trying to Conceive

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  #1  
August 11th, 2005, 08:15 AM
Jacquie's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 8,973
Ok, so I don't know if you guys remember, but last month I all but forced DH to BD (he was exhausted) when I O'd because he had been out of town all week, and I didn't want us to miss our chance. I ended up feeling really bad, and although he was very good about it, I think he felt very pressured and neither of us enjoyed it (sry TMI).

So this month, I decided to lighten things up and be more relaxed. We have had a very hectic week, and every night this week, he has been tired and we haven't BD'd. I don't want him to feel like this is something on his "To do" list, so I haven't said a word, in fact I told him it was totally no big deal, and if he was tired, that was fine. And it is, really, this can't consume our lives. But now I'm wondering if it's too late. I'm supposed to O between tomorrow and Sunday (most likely tomorrow), and we haven't BD'd once

I used to think that was alright, we would still have time, but after watching that movie someone posted yesterday, it said that it can take 3 days for the sperm to swim to the uterus, and then Lala said that it's possible that the egg can't be fertilized past 3-6 hours, and then that video I posted of the sperm swimming showed that a lot of them don't have the slightest clue where to go.

Sorry it's so long, but do you think I should just give up on May?
__________________
TTC #1:
5/20/05:
5/27/05:
5/28/05: miscarriage
08/27/05:
08/30/05: miscarriage
01/15/05: misdiagnosed with PCOS
08/29/06: first appt at fertility clinic (was already pregnant with dd and didn't know it)
08/31/06:
05/16/07: DD was born

TTC #2:
11/13/09: let's try again!
03/10/10: tests with new OB - everything totally normal for DH and I, no indication of pcos; officially diagnosed with "Unexplained Infertility"
04/21/10 - 10/13/10: 7 unsuccessful rounds of clomid with OB
11/13/10 - 14/23/11: 3 unsuccessful IUI's with clomid at fertility clinic
07/27/11: ER for IVF - retrieved 27; 17 were mature enough to fertilize; all 17 fertilized; 11 made it to day 3 embryos; 6 made it to day 6 blasts. Transferred 1, froze 5.
08/08/11: positive hpt!
08/13/11 - 08/20/11: positive blood test (186), but cramping and bleeding. 2 days later, blood at 275; 2 days later, blood at 21. Inevitable miscarriage.
10/13/11: start suprefact for first FET
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  #2  
August 11th, 2005, 08:20 AM
sanderson76's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: May 2005
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 13,344
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Sure you still have a chance.. Just BD when you can this coming weekend..heck even for good measures, BD the day after you ovulate.

Neverthought about those little swimmers needing a road map

GOOD LUCK!!
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  #3  
August 11th, 2005, 08:31 AM
diane66
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Posts: n/a
I would def. say you have a chance. If you aren't supposed to O until tomorrow, I would go for it tonight and tomorrow night if possible. You aren't out of the running!
I have to agree about watching that video of those sperm. It is a miracle that they ever find there way at all!
Good luck!!!!
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  #4  
August 11th, 2005, 08:34 AM
sanderson76's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: May 2005
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 13,344
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Wonder where that little video is...i would like to see that one
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  #5  
August 11th, 2005, 09:07 AM
Jacquie's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 8,973
Thanks ladies...I will try and get some BD'ing in this weekend...we have to go pick up our trailer tonight (I posted about it in chit chat), so hopefully we don't get home too late (DH got to sleep in this morning, so I might have a chance, but now I'm exhausted ).

On the bright side, I think I might be a lot less anxious in the 2WW this time since I think my chances are probably lower!
__________________
TTC #1:
5/20/05:
5/27/05:
5/28/05: miscarriage
08/27/05:
08/30/05: miscarriage
01/15/05: misdiagnosed with PCOS
08/29/06: first appt at fertility clinic (was already pregnant with dd and didn't know it)
08/31/06:
05/16/07: DD was born

TTC #2:
11/13/09: let's try again!
03/10/10: tests with new OB - everything totally normal for DH and I, no indication of pcos; officially diagnosed with "Unexplained Infertility"
04/21/10 - 10/13/10: 7 unsuccessful rounds of clomid with OB
11/13/10 - 14/23/11: 3 unsuccessful IUI's with clomid at fertility clinic
07/27/11: ER for IVF - retrieved 27; 17 were mature enough to fertilize; all 17 fertilized; 11 made it to day 3 embryos; 6 made it to day 6 blasts. Transferred 1, froze 5.
08/08/11: positive hpt!
08/13/11 - 08/20/11: positive blood test (186), but cramping and bleeding. 2 days later, blood at 275; 2 days later, blood at 21. Inevitable miscarriage.
10/13/11: start suprefact for first FET
Reply With Quote
  #6  
August 11th, 2005, 09:20 AM
LaLa's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 11,576
Keep in mind - ANYTHING is possible. Women all over the place get knocked up left and right from ONSs and all kinds of other stuff lol.

K? So dont get your hopes down.

But - i think one of the big issues is that you and H need to find a way to relax things a bit, but still make sure some BDing gets in somewhere around O time.

Try this:
Most men havent a CLUE when youre Oing. They dont track cycle days (and if they do - kudos to you, but hes probably one of the few). And i suspect if he was THAT into it - bding wouldnt come as a chore lol. But there is something quite "Unromantic" about Scheduled BDing. Especially one with so much pressure lol.

So - you could try a couple of things:
DONT TELL HIM when youre Oing. Just kind of come on to him, and i wuold BET $$$ that if he doesnt know hes being called for the big production, if he thinks its just a dress rehearsal - hell be a little less resistant.

If this still doesnt work - consider this: He usually finds out that his performance is needed when you announce "IM OING - LETS GET IT TONIGHT!" or something along those lines. Hes had a long day, probably didnt consider this when he started winding down on the couch at 9 pm. So... agree on a "clue". On fertile days - youll put out some sort of signal to clue him in that youre fertile today.

In "The Conception Chronicles" (which i highly recommend btw - theres a whole chapter or more devoted to this very thing) it discusses this exact thing.. They talked about how some couples put out a special candle each month. and they would light it before H got home - hed come home - smell the candle , see it burning, and know that he was needed. He can start gearing up for it and theres a steady reminder (but not a pushy one - just subtle) there to ease the tension. But - the couple never discussed the "fertile days" they relied solely on the candle.

As a result - my DH & I have a pillow - it has two sides - one that says "TONIGHT" and one that says "NOT TONIGHT". We use it to indicate if were in a good mood/bad mood and now fertile/infertile. In the morning i put it on the bed (or on the couch) if i know im fertile - of course on the "TONIGHT" side. If he comes home in a bad mood, hes entitled to change it to the "NOT TONIGHT" side, so theres no let downs come show time.

Other suggestions? Leave a plastic egg on the kitchen table, a picture of a rattle (or something else) on the fridge. Hang a rattle on the front door (if you dont get frequent visitors lol)... or a bell on the door.

Figure out an approach - or try one and if it idoesnt work, try something else.

Something to ease the tension and pressure would be helpful. Most couples admit, after all, that the thought of them conceiving what will soon be the most important thing in their life in a less than enjoyable fashion isnt really what they want.

Itll work out It might take a little communication b/w you and DH if neither of these options work to find out what he would like for you to do to make it easier on him -

Good luck I dont think youre necessarily out of the running, though NOt just based on what youve said.

Lala...
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  #7  
August 11th, 2005, 09:29 AM
Jacquie's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Posts: 8,973
Quote:
Originally posted by LaLa@Aug 11 2005, 09:20 AM
But - i think one of the big issues is that you and H need to find a way to relax things a bit, but still make sure some BDing gets in somewhere around O time.

Try this:
Most men havent a CLUE when youre Oing.* They dont track cycle days (and if they do - kudos to you, but hes probably one of the few).* And i suspect if he was THAT into it - bding wouldnt come as a chore lol.* But there is something quite "Unromantic" about Scheduled BDing.* Especially one with so much pressure lol.
Lala...
<div align="right"><{POST_SNAPBACK}>
[/quote]
Normally, DH is ready and willing to BD at the drop of a hat , but during the times that either one of us is really tired, we have always just respected that. So I think last month when I didn't respect that he was tired, he felt like he *had* to, and I don't want to do that again. I haven't said a word to him about when I will O this month, but I think he has an idea...he knows that it happens roughly the same time each month, and he knows when AF left, so I'm guessing it's in the back of his mind anyway. Maybe I should try and throw him off and tell him it's on Monday

I have booked a couples massage for us for tomorrow afternoon, so that should handle the 'relaxing' part - just as long as it's not too late for us to catch the egg.

Maybe I should really throw him off and throw the lunar ovulation dates in there too! Oh, and I ordered the Conception Chronicles the other day, but it's going to take 3-5 weeks to get here!
__________________
TTC #1:
5/20/05:
5/27/05:
5/28/05: miscarriage
08/27/05:
08/30/05: miscarriage
01/15/05: misdiagnosed with PCOS
08/29/06: first appt at fertility clinic (was already pregnant with dd and didn't know it)
08/31/06:
05/16/07: DD was born

TTC #2:
11/13/09: let's try again!
03/10/10: tests with new OB - everything totally normal for DH and I, no indication of pcos; officially diagnosed with "Unexplained Infertility"
04/21/10 - 10/13/10: 7 unsuccessful rounds of clomid with OB
11/13/10 - 14/23/11: 3 unsuccessful IUI's with clomid at fertility clinic
07/27/11: ER for IVF - retrieved 27; 17 were mature enough to fertilize; all 17 fertilized; 11 made it to day 3 embryos; 6 made it to day 6 blasts. Transferred 1, froze 5.
08/08/11: positive hpt!
08/13/11 - 08/20/11: positive blood test (186), but cramping and bleeding. 2 days later, blood at 275; 2 days later, blood at 21. Inevitable miscarriage.
10/13/11: start suprefact for first FET
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  #8  
August 11th, 2005, 09:52 AM
LaLa's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 11,576
"I haven't said a word to him about when I will O this month, but I think he has an idea...he knows that it happens roughly the same time each month, and he knows when AF left, so I'm guessing it's in the back of his mind anyway."

I think youre giving him WAY too much credit lol.

I sometimes have a hard time remembering exactly when AF showed up lol. I remember when I was pg with my son, I couldnt remember my last AF when i went to the dr lol. They had to guestimate my DD another way lol. (Turns out the guess I had made was wrong btw lol).

Also - did you just try your local bookstore for that book? Mine had several in stock!

Lala...
__________________




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  #9  
August 11th, 2005, 10:00 AM
Jacquie's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 8,973
Quote:
Originally posted by LaLa@Aug 11 2005, 09:52 AM
I think youre giving him WAY too much credit lol.
<div align="right"><{POST_SNAPBACK}>
[/quote]

lol Normally I would agree with you, he's never that observant with anything else - I once painted the entire house interior a different color while he was away, he was in the house 10 minutes before I had to point it out to him

Last night though after I told him it was ok if he was tired, he said "Are you sure? I know it's close to good baby making time." So basically, I know he would have BD'd, but I didn't want it to be like last month, so I said it was ok.

Quote:
Originally posted by LaLa@Aug 11 2005, 09:52 AM
Also - did you just try your local bookstore for that book?* Mine had several in stock!
<div align="right"><{POST_SNAPBACK}>
[/quote]

I thought about it, but I had 4 books that I was buying, and I get free shipping with Amazon plus the regular discount, so I was saving money...that, and I don't anticipate having time to read until sometime in September - we are building a deck and putting sod in our yard.
__________________
TTC #1:
5/20/05:
5/27/05:
5/28/05: miscarriage
08/27/05:
08/30/05: miscarriage
01/15/05: misdiagnosed with PCOS
08/29/06: first appt at fertility clinic (was already pregnant with dd and didn't know it)
08/31/06:
05/16/07: DD was born

TTC #2:
11/13/09: let's try again!
03/10/10: tests with new OB - everything totally normal for DH and I, no indication of pcos; officially diagnosed with "Unexplained Infertility"
04/21/10 - 10/13/10: 7 unsuccessful rounds of clomid with OB
11/13/10 - 14/23/11: 3 unsuccessful IUI's with clomid at fertility clinic
07/27/11: ER for IVF - retrieved 27; 17 were mature enough to fertilize; all 17 fertilized; 11 made it to day 3 embryos; 6 made it to day 6 blasts. Transferred 1, froze 5.
08/08/11: positive hpt!
08/13/11 - 08/20/11: positive blood test (186), but cramping and bleeding. 2 days later, blood at 275; 2 days later, blood at 21. Inevitable miscarriage.
10/13/11: start suprefact for first FET
Reply With Quote
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