[~ Nicole ~]

Ok so I am posting this ? here because this is one of the most active forums and I know there will be people who can relate. So we are planning to start TTC #3 in a year or less and even with DH having a good enough job to pay the bills and mortage I am still stressing about being able to afford 3 kids! I see women on here all the time with 4, 5, 6, 7, sometimes even 8 or more kids. How in the world can you afford all the food, clothes, toys, utility use, medical and dental insurance ect ect. I mean I know about budgeting and cutting back but there is only so much one can budge and cut back. I just don't get how you all do it and I am starting to seriously worry if we will be able to afford everything without struggling. I know some people might make more money but it seems like quite a few of the mother's with large families are also stay at home moms. Is there a secret to this that I am missing? If so many people can do it with more kids than why am I so worried about just 3?

[strvnwritr]

Hi Nicole,

We are also TTC #3 so I understand your concerns. But I will mention this, I think babies can be extremely cheap to care for, particularly if you don't have to worry about day care costs. I breast fed and made my own baby food so that saved money. I did use disposable diapers but I bought the store brands so that wasn't too bad. I bought (and still do) most of my kids' clothes at consignment sales--you get name brand, gently work clothing for a fraction of its original cost. Can't beat that!

And even as they get older, incorporating one more mouth to feed and body to clothe into the budget isn't too bad.

I'll tell you where we are starting to feel it, though....that's with those extra-curricular type activities. My son is taking karate and while we can handle the costs for one, there's no way we could have three kids in karate (or other similarly priced activity). Then there's swimming lessons in the summer, etc., etc. So for that, I still don't have a good answer.

The bottom line is, if you can comfortably afford two children, I bet you'll be fine with three. Being "comfortable" usually means there's at least a little wiggle room

But I, too, would love to hear from the moms with lots of kids. I bet they've got tons of great advice!

I completely agree with the PP. I use coupons, shop around for sales, go to yard/garage sales in the summer, I formula feed so that gets costly, but I buy the diapers that are on sale and what I have coupons for. MY kids have low class tastes. LOL Moose is almost 4 and happy with dollar store stuff. It's all in how you raise them, I think. There are so many ways to cut costs these days. We only have two kids, but I'm a SAHM and so we do it all on one income. We also have a garden in the summer for food, and now we raise our own beef. Every little thing helps.

[Jessy_Ree]

Im currently expecting number 4 and as bad as it might seem none of my children were planned..LOL..I somehow managed to conceive while on birth control 3 times..I agree with the shopping sales and using coupons..we don't use disposable diapers so we are planning to use my daughters cloth on the new baby as well..My Mother in law managed to raise 5 kids with one income and as a teen mom..Truthfully we can't afford to do a lot of grand things like go on a cross country trip every yr but we manage to do something small every yr for our kids..Actually for spring break we're taking them to detroit to see the titanic exhibit..Baby formula is expensive..but the off brands at most stores are exactly the same nutritionally as enfamil and similac so don't be afraid to use them..All of my nephews have been fed off brands..Also if you have a gently used consignment shop like once upon a child..they sell next to new clothing for kids up to size 5 I think..so we buy most of my daughters clothes there as she's only 6 months old and outgrows things quickly..I might add that a lot o the stuff we bought there still had store tags on it..LOL..and as long as its not out dated..don't be afraid to take up a friends offer of a used car seat..they all have expiration dates and as long as its not past that date and has never been in an accident it'll be fine..Making a larger family work can be tricky but so doable...

[AmyLM]

I'm a sahm of 2 and we're ttc #3 now. We don't have cable, I drive a 20 year old car, I bake a lot of our bread, we don't eat out often so, I cook nearly all of our meals. I use cloth diapers, breastfeed, make my own baby food, shop at thrift stores for clothing and other items that don't need to be brand new. For extra income, my dh sells a lot on ebay.

[Blcooper32]

As of now I personally only have one and one on the way but I don't work either. I don't know where you are from but most states have some sort of help for larger low income families with food and medical...and as the other ladies said buying second hand Walmart has price match so if you find an add with something cheaper they will match it so you don't have to drive around...good luck...

[jumpinginpuddles]

I haven't read all the other responses, so if I repeat, I apologize. I guess we live quite differently than most because we easily "afford" 3 children and my husband makes about 30K a year. I stay at home with the kids.

I breastfeed so there is no cost there (and baby food is just our real food smushed up!). We have just started using cloth diapers with our newest LO (we used disposable with the older two). We buy many of our clothes second hand, which is still in really good condition. We homeschool so there are not the "extra" costs that schools require (and I make our own curriculum and use real books & websites to teach). We own our cars-we do not have car payments each month. We don't take costly vacations, we visit family for the most part if we take trips. We use coupons/find sales as we're able. We qualify for reduced cost medical insurance for the kids. And we don't buy the newest electronics when they first come out.

We have probably less-than-thrilling lives to most of American society, but we are happy! =)

[~ Nicole ~]

Well right now we are trying to save 20% down on a house of about $250,000 goal by 2015. We have two cars right now, his is old but big and mine is nice but only 4 seats so the plan is to sell both and getr a nicer 5 seater paid in full so no car payment. We spend about $400 a month on food for 4 people and we use coupons and shop at the lowest price store in our area. We don't go on vacations anymore but we do take the kids out a few times a month to something that costs $. We wont qualify for state medical if your employer gives you the option of medical for your children. We also don't really want to be on any government assistance because we were when we were younger and it was an important goal to be able to reach self sufficiency for us. I admit one of the areas to cut back would be buying toys and gadgets for my kids. I admit I am bad with that because I love when they get something new and are all excited. I never thought of consignment shops for clothing which would be helpful because we spent about $600 on school clothes for 2 kids this year. I estimated monthly must pay bills to be between $2300-$2500 once we get a house. DH will be making $50,000-$60,000 a year by than but what I am most afraid of if something happens and he gets laid off because unemployment wont hardly cover the expenses. I guess adding up all the expenses put me in panic mode. Oh forgot to mention we have 4 pets costing quite a bit too! I am thinking I should get a book on being frugel and start practicing now.

[Iluvmybabies*]

I am in Canada so it is very different

We don't pay much for health care, I breastfeed and cloth diaper so that helps sooooo much, we grow a lot of our own food and hubby has a very good paying job we cut down on a lot of unneeded expenses too

My mom was a single mom of 4 and some how she made it

[strvnwritr]

Originally Posted by ~ Nicole ~

I am thinking I should get a book on being frugel and start practicing now.

I find frugality to be almost addictive...lol. Once you get started, you will NEVER want to go back! Do you mind me asking what part of the country you live in? Housing costs are such a huge variable depending on where you live. My last house was a tiny (850 sq feet) little two bedroom that we paid $65K for in 2005. Our current house is more than twice the size (1800 sq feet) but also more than twice the price ($145K) . But I know that in some parts of the country, that would be considered extremely low for home prices.

[Grace]

I think the main idea is to have another child when it is reasonable with your finances, but for the most part if you are going to wait to be 100% financially ready then you might be waiting a long time. Don't take that wrong either, but really like you said you are worried your dh could get laid off, if you really sit and think about all the bad scenarios you won't give yourself the chance to think about the good that will come out of TTC and adding another one to love in your families life. No matter how much we try to plan, things come up and money can be tight no matter how well it's planned.

We had about 4 years of planning Isaac, and I an huge on planning. So there was no worries about money when we were TTC him, but I also knew that could change easily if dh lost his job etc, and now we are TTC again and sometimes I feel like Im going to flip because I don't have another 4 years to plan another. We don't want them years apart, we want them close so we can close this chapter and move on, and this way he will have a sibling close to his age. Kinda freaks me out to have plan so much stuff in such a small time frame. But I know it will be great, and I have faith no matter what happens in the future we will be fine. The Lord always provides.


Anyway Nicole don't stress about it too much, everything will be okay.

[~ Nicole ~]

Great just when I start trying to be more frugal my computer dies on me and I just had to buy a new one yesterday! Thats why I didn't respond back so quickly! However I have made a few changes already! The consignment shop idea gave me the idea to look on clearance racks so I already found a bunch of fall/winter clothes for my kids for next school year. So I am going to start shopping end of season deals for the next year. Also no more long baths for me or atleast not often, going to try quick showers instead. And washing with cold water most of the time. Went to costco and baught bulk size laudry detergent and toilet paper. Finally a Walmart is opening in our area soon so hopefully they double coupons like I have heard about. I am going to order a few frugal tips books on kindle pc (cheaper this way) Yes I am already starting to get addicted to being more frugal and actually I could tell DH was getting a little annoyed when I was telling him some of the things he doesnt really need to buy.

I guess I am just overwhelmed because soon we will be geting a house, newer car, and hopefully having another child all around the same time. We had a lot of help before but now we were doing everything on our own and when I add all the expenses it seems a lot.

We live in Bellevue, WA it is located across the water from Seattle. The cost of living is higher here than a lot of places. We are looking at 1500-2200 square feet 20-40 Year old house in good non remodeled condition for about $250,000 a few cities away were it is a little cheaper. Its not even a matter of want it is a matter of need. We only have 2 bedrooms now for 4 people and 4 pets and its too crowded. We have to stay somewhat around here to give DH job opportunities.

If anyone knows any good books or websites for coupons, freebies, or money saving tips please post. Oh no printer though for coupons. If I can start cutting back on spending and finding good deals I think I will feel a little better.

[mspkids]

We have 6 and we are still thinking of trying for another one. (M/C so we are in limbo.). Once you have at least one of each, the cost of clothes does go down. My kids do wear hand me down and honestly they don't seem to care. As I hit teenage years is why the costs really hit hard. Thankfully we never have more than 2 in this age range at the same time. College is our biggest worry right now.

Food, you cut back and stretch meals. Gone are the days of good steaks. Most of our meals are chicken, ground beef (local butcher) and roasts. Anything I can get 2 meals from are our friends. We can/freeze veggies when fresh. We buy meat by the 1/2 cow..1/2 pig so I know where it comes from and get best prices.

You just make it work..I wouldn't redone it any other way..

[Grace]

Nicole- I don't know where you usually go shopping for kids clothes, but my favorite and almost only place I buy their clothes is the Children Place. They usually have 20-30% off your entire order, plus a couple of weeks after they put out their "new" line of clothes, it goes on clearance, so that dress that was $50 is around $20 just a couple weeks later. I like their quality and prices, I also take coupons to the store and use coupon codes. Another thing I do is go to Old Navy to look for clothes from last season, their sweaters and pull-overs get dropped to $3 and $4. I went there a few weeks ago and got a bunch of light long sleeves for my boys and each was about $2. Other than that, sometimes Target will have good deals on things as well, so even though these stores are mall stores, you can still get really nice clothes and save a lot of money.

[strvnwritr]

Wow, Nicole, it sounds like you are off to a GREAT start! Sorry about the computer, though

[Mrs_lynn.c]

I have four kids one boy three girls,my girls i kept all of there things including toys nice so they could be passed on to anther child.My two year old i have only had to buy her sox so far,but her grandma spoils her rotten with clothes.I have a very big family 5 sisters and three brothers.We all have at lest 4 kids so we pass clothes back and forth to each other now the kids are getting older and all of my sisters have became grandmas now its me and them.We clip cupons for food buy off brand formula and we all use luvs diapers so we buy them by the cases.We try to cut cost for utility by only doing laundry once a week and have tv time only after dinner.We grill out alot to cut natural gas cost.Water we cant realy conserve on that cause we shower everyday.We are currently trying for one more and then were done not less god has another plan.I wish you the best i think you will do fine.