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  #1  
March 9th, 2013, 12:07 PM
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 1
Hello, I am new to this website, but have read some of the message boars and found comfort in them during a confusing time in my life. Now I would like to share my story in hopes of receiving some insight in return. Thanks!

I have a mp back in late December, 12/27-12/31 I started a new birth control with the end of that cycle. However, I had forgotten to take two pills early on, and decided to just wait until the next month to get on it, instead of over flooding my body with the hormones to catch up. Due to abruptly stopping the pill I got another "period" on 1/8/13-1/12/13... I wasn't sure if I should count this as my next period, or wait until the next month, so I chose to wait.

I then started seeing my boyfriend a couple weeks later and we became intimate in the last week of January. Specifically we had sex 1/28, 1/30, and then continuously with the start of February.

I have had a history of a miscarriage about two years prior. I had not known I was pregnant, my body was terribly irregular and so tracking periods seemed pointless. When I had the miscarriage I bled profusely with HORRIBLE cramps. Among clotting, fetal tissue came out that resembled what it should look like between 8-10 weeks. Since the miscarriage and now, I had also been raped which I believe left scarring. I truly thought of myself as being infertile due to these two incidents, along with miraculously not becoming pregnant on two occasions with failed birth control, so stupidly I found the lack of birth control to not be of great concern.

I ended up getting my lmp 2/5. It was completely normal, lasted 5 days, typical flow and symptoms.

My boyfriend and I even had sex throughout my period. Once again I did not start the new birth control. I never made it to the pharmacy to pick it up on time to start it.

Therefore, having completely unprotected sex, of course becoming pregnant seemed more than a possibility, but I still doubted it and shrugged it off in my mind due to my past.

In the end of February I started getting symptoms I wasn't so use to. I am VERY in-tuned to my body now. The first thing I noticed was nausea, which I didn't find so abnormal, since I have been known to have waves when expecting my period. However, the nausea led to actual vomiting, twice. I had to urinate more often, like to the point where I had to wake up in the middle of the night, and between every 1-2 hours pay a trip to the bathroom. Typically I could sue the bathroom 1-3 times in a day and be completely fine. I recall using it 11 in one 24-hour period. This spiked the idea of a UTI, however, it was not painful to urinate, and my urine was not foul-smelling, rather quite the opposite. So if it were a UTI it was abnormal to one I had previously. The fuller bladder, and I suppose increased blood flow made sex feel really different. While I had not had the same sex drive as before, I rather felt gross and uninterested, it had not totally gone away, and that paired with the boyfriend's sex drive led to still being intimate. My boyfriend told me I was so much tighter and more wet. Everything was so much more sensitive, and I agreed with him, tighter. It actually felt really good. (I've read that some women hate the way sex feels while others say its the best sex they ever had, so while getting in the mood wasn't as quick as before, once I was in the act, it was very enjoyable.) The next thing I recalled that was different was being SO tired, to an extreme. I did nothing out of the ordinary from my typical day, yet I was taking afternoon naps, and going to bed earlier and struggling to get out of it in the mornings. I even was having trouble keeping my eyes open in the day, that was rough. I was often lightheaded and even had a few dizzy spells which I blamed on dehydration, which I thought could also account for that iron taste in my saliva which had increased. Constipation was not something that caused great discomfort but was certainty there. While bloating, I felt like a balloon, everything felt snug against me, and it was totally uncomfortable. Not to mention the gas, the pressure it brought on brought discomfort, but it was more embarrassing than anything. Always burping, and blushing after letting it out the other end. I am not a gassy person by any means, so this was weird. Next, I started noticing twinges, and a tugging or pulling feeling in my abdomen. While I could not even refer to it as cramping, I noticed pressure on it as well. The twinges were even visibly noticeable, like a big pulse in my abdomen, it was strange. At night time, though I know this is not a typical (early on) pregnancy symptom, I had heartburn. While my boobs did not seem more painful of even tender, I swear my nipples looked bigger and the veins around them more noticeable. They also felt fuller. Not to mention how moody I was. Now, with that said, my close friends and mom can tell when I'm expecting my period because I will literally cry at the smallest thing as though its the dilemma that will cause the next world war. However, I was getting angry and irritated, not just emotional, I thought my normal pms was bad, then I experienced this. With all these symptoms aside, I just had a feeling, like this overpowering knowledge and instinct that I was pregnant. I was truly freaking myself out because even if I were pregnant, I had to be making most of this up, or at least mistaking symptoms, since I'd only be "two weeks" pregnant, having implantation just occurring, I had not even missed a period yet, it was due 3/5. Still the overwhelming feeling caused me take a test.

I realized I took it WAY too early, and not even with the "detects 6-days sooner brand test." I got a negative, but I still felt the same way for days to come. So on my 11 dpo (so I assume, I do not track my ovulation days) I tested again... I received a very faint, yet noticeable BFP. I did not know how to react. At first I was glad that I wasn't going insane, and happy that I really do know my body. Then again, I was nervous, as this was obviously an unplanned pregnancy. I drove myself crazy with doing "research" and reading other women's stories. I looked at the test again and it was gone, completely faded, no results showed anymore. Was it in my head? Was it an evaporation line? I told myself I needed to wait until I actually missed my period to be sure, which drove me more insane! Part of me had grown a sense of excitement or joy, thinking after all this time I worried I would never be able to get pregnant, here I am.

I had told my boyfriend that I thought I was, and had even gotten a "positive" result; typical male response, since he could not feel what I was, I doubt you are, lets wait until you miss your period before we over-think this.

I remember on 3/2, everything had just stopped. I felt completely normal. There was no symptom, not one. I was nausea or over tired. I was not running to the bathroom, my bladder did not constantly feel full. I didn't have pms-like emotional problems. I wasn't crampy. It wasn't even a feeling of my period is coming, rather, I was just myself.

On 3/3 I took another pregnancy test, it came up negative. Later that day I started bleeding, quite heavy. This was not my typical period in anyway. I had no severe cramping, instead of it being in my uterus, any pressure or dull pain was in my back. This was day 26 of my cycle. Since my first-ever cycle, I have NEVER been early. Typically my period comes on day 31 or 32, sometimes it has come on day 29, but day 26 was just WAY too early for me. I knew I was miscarrying. Though, I would have only been barely 4 weeks pregnant. I started searching and found the term "chemical miscarriage." While, this had seemed like a god-sent that I wasn't having an unplanned pregnancy, I was overwhelmed with negative feelings. 1. doubting myself, feeling so sure I was pregnant, and then just not. 2. I have always wanted to be a mom, so planned or not, this was a good thing for me, especially after my fear of not being able to conceive. 3. Whether it was just a rise in chemicals, a ball of cells, or whatever, I felt a connection to something inside me, and that connection was now gone. 4. I felt bad about feeling bad. My boyfriend was relieved and instead I was disappointed. The bleeding was on and off, sometimes heavy, sometimes spotting. I noticed some clotting. There was never really cramps, which is totally abnormal for my typical period. The bleeding completely stopped at night on 3/6.

While I have been trying to ignore my body now, since the being so in-tuned with it, got me here in the first place, after all many women never notice a chemical-pregnancy unless they're charting themselves. So, I am trying to ignore things from now on until later to lead to led stress and possible disappointment.

I was planning to start my birth control this month now, to help ensure I won't experience this again. I would treat this bleeding as a period, whether its that or a miscarriage, and start my pill this upcoming Sunday. However, two things have popped into my head (so much for not being so in-tuned with my body lol...)

I am still, or again, extremely fatigued, exhausted! Today I slept in until noon. NEVER, not once, even in times where I have stayed up until 4am or 5am have slept in this late. Not to mention I have been going to bed earlier too. I have still felt the desire to take a daytime nap, though I have not allowed myself this. Also, the gas, its gotten worse. I can recall 4 times, just yesterday that I was severely embarrassed by my continuous release of gas, especially since it was in a very public and quiet setting! As its who I am, I did some research on misdiagnosed miscarriages and a vanishing twin. It sounds crazy in my head, but here I am, asking for opinions, insight, similar stories, anything. I never clinically confirmed a pregnancy, and therefore I never clinically confirmed a miscarriage, this has simply all been feeling in combination with one "positive" (I'm still a little unsure) at home test.

So was I ever pregnant? Did I miscarry? If not, does that mean I am still pregnant? If I did miscarry, is it possible I miscarried one of two? Do I take a test and risk those same feelings of anxiousness and stress and worry, paired with excitement that may lead to even more disappointment? Do I realize this is once again possibly just in my head? Do I wait? If that's the answer, do I start the next set of pills?

Someone please try to eliminate my confusion with their knowledge from similar situations. Thank you!
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  #2  
March 11th, 2013, 03:51 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: TN
Posts: 5,592
I wait to take the pills and get an appt to see your doctor. If the doctor says you aren't pregnant, then you would be clear to start the pills.
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  #3  
March 12th, 2013, 07:21 PM
jeragiz's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Cali
Posts: 418
I truelly dont have an answer except to say with my last pregnancy I knew from day one I was without charting or temping so maybe you were feeling something or even your body is just out of wack. I personally would wait and take another test in next couple of days if neg I would see a Dr before starting the pill just to rest assured
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