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Why is he doing this?????


Forum: Divorce and Separation

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  #1  
October 9th, 2009, 02:24 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: none
Posts: 1,133
I dont understand....for someone who told me almost every single day HE wanted a divorce, never did anything about it, so I filed and am ready to move on now, WHY he is delaying this!

For two weeks now I have tried to get together at a public place and have the parenting plan an AGREED order. Im basically just giving him whatever he wants to get it DONE. I will have minor clauses that do cover my butt int he event that I cant travel halfway or something due to work or recreational activities-minor things like that....

Last weekend I texted him asking if we could meet for an hour or so and at least get an outline of an agreed parenting plan. He claimed he never got the text....fine...I humored him.

Today, since he has a four day weekend and is down this way at his mommies house, I asked him since we both have the time today if we could meet and get the agreed order done since he doesn't take one of the kids till tomorrow. He sends a text message back and says he's too tired and depressed and wants to be by himself.

First of all, I dont give a !@$#$%@$#%. Second, I want this done BEFORE next year. Third, I dont care how you are feeling. This needs to be addressed and taken care of. Burying your @$## head in the sand when issues needed to be addressed was how you have always dealt with EVERYTHING-another reason why it didn't work out....

WHY IS HE DOING THIS???? :brick wall:
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  #2  
October 9th, 2009, 04:09 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: none
Posts: 1,133
Nevermind...I know why he is doing this. Seriously, money should not be a motivator when someone else just wants OUT!

He tried talking to me about delaying the divorce until he got on meds and counseling (probably another lie, albeit not my problem). Here's another thing....it's one thing to come out and be honest and just say 'Ya know, I dont love you, Im not going to pretend I do, or ATTEMPT to lead you to believe that I want this marriage, but I am in love with money. So I am going to wait this entire thing out so that I can get as much money as I can before the divorce is final.

It's another thing to talk about delaying a divorce because you aren't sure...or because you still love this person, or because you WANT counseling, or any other good intended reason.

He's still lying to get what he wants and I couldnt' be more sick. Deceit...no matter what the cost. Im sitting here just crying from frustration.

I call my attorney and ask when the trial date was set for...she tells me March. MARCH OF 2010!!!! I ask if we can expedite it. She says no only for a parenting plan for an intended relocation.

I am so frustrated that someone can STILL control my life. This REALLY isn't fair. In fact this is THE most unfair! I cant believe this. I hate that he still has control over me and my life.

I am so upset right now. I cant even put into words what I am feeling...Im speechless, mostly.
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  #3  
October 9th, 2009, 10:08 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Florida
Posts: 2,091
Send a message via AIM to Blondzilla
I completely understand. You're going tio continue to feel like this for many years unfortunately because as long as the children are minors, he still has SOME control over what you can and cannot do. Unfair? Dam* straight it is! But it's also reality. I will tell you one thing I learned during my time of great frustration--i.e. aftermath of divorce. the more you show him it frustrates and angers you, the more of that BS he will pull on you. Go on with your life as though it was already done. I know...easier said than done but don't feed his ego or whatever the heck drives these fools. It WILL be over and IT WILL BE BEHIND YOU...it's just going to take a little while longer. If need be, do everything through the lawyers. ANYTHING to keep you from having to deal with him firsthand. And, of course, vent here all you need to...vent to me through PM...scream, rant, rave...whatever you need to do! Just don't let HIM see he's getting to you! I wish I could do more for you...wish I could make it all be behind you already. Unfortunately, I can't. Whatever I can do, I will.
HUGS!
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  #4  
October 27th, 2009, 07:29 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 3,501
Send a message via AIM to mommy2lilman Send a message via Yahoo to mommy2lilman
I'm sorry he's doing that. hope things get settled
soon.
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