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Can't I have one night!


Forum: Divorce and Separation

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  #1  
October 29th, 2009, 07:46 PM
Mega Super Mommy
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Gah! I feel like I can't have one night without a lector. Also got gabbed at verbally again. He commented on how little man has his eyes, but mommys brain.. Total insult considering he says I'm not smart enough to home school him when he gets older.

I frowned. And he's all... Smile.. Wth?!

Why would I smile about that?!
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  #2  
October 30th, 2009, 06:34 AM
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Wow. He's just a joy to be around isn't he? >eye roll< I'm so sorry he said those things to you. Just keep telling yourself it isn't going to be much longer and keep working on you. You're doing great!
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  #3  
October 30th, 2009, 07:20 AM
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I'll be so glad when it's over with. Monday i'm doing group counseling. I'm also doing an intake paper stuff for little man.

My nerves are shot. Have to be for me to dream about Martin stranding us somewhere, Frederick gets sick.. And Martin tried to take him. Ugly dream!!!!
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  #4  
October 30th, 2009, 07:57 AM
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Dreams are just your fears. It's obvious what you're afraid of but don't let it get to you. If you have a dream like that next time, in your dream tell him "NO! You can't have my son and you can't have me!" Take back your son and leave MARTIN stranded! In dreams, anything is possible. You and Frederick can just fly away. Spread your wings and take off! Leave him behind on the ground wondering how you did that. He doesn't get wings in your dream. He gets cement blocks tied to his arms and legs. Your dreams should be your escape where all the good things happen...when it gets scary or sad, turn it around! You control what happens in your dreams but usually you just let things happen as though you are powerless--we all do. Once you begin to exert your power in your dreams everything suddenly shifts to the good and you MAKE things happen. Remember key words that will help you. Everytime you see Martin's angry face--which in your dreams he shows you when he puts you down--think of the word WINGS. Whenever you think of that word, you will grow wings and be able to fly away to someplace wonderful. Before you go to sleep tonight, tell yourself over and over that your dream tonight will be different and that you will have control over it and make it a happy one. Then repeat the word WINGS over and over. Anytime you feel scared or hurt, think WINGS. When you do, you will magically grow wings and be able to fly. Frederick is there too and he is securely harnessed to you. He can't fall out, he can't be taken out without YOU agreeing to it. YOU have all the power. Your big, silvery wings will get you and your son out of harms way.
HUGS
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  #5  
October 30th, 2009, 08:08 AM
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Wow... *hugs* And I just got off the phone with my sister... Whom I haven't spoken to in months.. My mom apparantly told her what happened and she doesn't want Frederick or I in a shelter.. In new mexico or Kentucky!

She has a 2bdrm 2 bs condo. She said we could come stay with her, I could get back on my feet, see how the meds affect me, clean her place... And Frederick and I could just clean her place and shed give us a little money until child support started rolling in!!!!

Omg. I'm in tears. She's talking to our dad tonight about it. She went to batt for me... I feel awed. Her work supervisor Debbie said she'd give me a
job too just to get me on my feet if I wanted.. My sister talked to them about me..

Wow... Just when I least expect it... Something like this happens.

She said I have to file something in nm for temp
custody of little man. How do I do that??

I'm not a resident. I thought i could take my son and go.. In
dv situations..?? What do I do??
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  #6  
October 30th, 2009, 08:45 AM
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Its a good idea to file temp orders before you go...that way, he can't claim you are kidnapping Frederick. Call the courthouse and try to get in touch with a family law facilitator. They should be able to help you file the orders, and possibly be able to waive any filing fees.

Hang in there! That's great news that your sister is willing to do this!
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  #7  
October 30th, 2009, 09:19 AM
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Sounds like a good thing. Can I file anything if I'm not a resident?
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  #8  
October 31st, 2009, 07:39 AM
rubyredslipperz's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I'm in NM too but am new to the state. I would contact the DA's office or even a DV shelter would have the info. When I went into a DV shelter in California I had to sign a form that they sent to the DA stating that it was a DV case that that I was not abducting my children. I filed it again when I got where I was staying in a different county. It would be wise to file the paper whether you are a resident or not I dont think that matters. If it's where you've been residing for however long it is. I know for CA you had 10 days between filing the paper with the DA and filing for custody. What I would suggest, and what I think you need to do. Is to file a paper with the DA in NM that you are not abducting your child but that it's a DV case and you're seeking safe shelter somewhere else. And either as soon as you get to KY or maybe even before then, file for custody in KY so that you don't have to go back and forth from KY to NM for court dates and hearings. Try to do it as quickly as possible though, so he doesn't file first. That was my problem, I didn't file quick enough, I was in a shelter and lost as to what to do, and he filed first to so I had to go back to my old county of residence where he filed and go to court there... Here's some numbers you can probably call and ask for a free phone consult or at least advice on how to go about it.

New Mexico Domestic Abuse Attorneys | New Mexico Domestic Abuse Attorney - LawInfo
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  #9  
October 31st, 2009, 09:42 AM
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Thanks for the link. I'm not welcome in Kentucky. There is that safe house but so far it's still filled up.

So i need to figure out what state I want to live in when things are said and done.
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  #10  
October 31st, 2009, 10:08 AM
rubyredslipperz's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I'd hate to say go to California because of how the things are in the state right now, it's going bankrupt and the cost of living is sky high. So I'll search other options. But I know in the LA area there are a lot of safe houses that will help you with councelling, government assistance, then there are halfway houses that offer free iving quaters while you work, will help you find ajob and free daycare for you son, they will help you with all the legal mumbo jumbo, and what not. I'll look into it for you, because I was where you are now. Needing out and no where to go.
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  #11  
October 31st, 2009, 11:27 AM
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Thank you. I really appreciate the help. Thanks for all the info..
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