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Supervised visitation?


Forum: Divorce and Separation

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  #1  
November 4th, 2009, 11:46 AM
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Wasn't sure if I should have posted this here or not..

Do any of you all know how I can get supervised visitation on fredericks
daddy? I'm nervous and not wanting him to have regular visitation because of how he is/what he says and or threatened/asks at times.
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  #2  
November 5th, 2009, 05:21 AM
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Unfortunately, you don't have the power to make that a reality--only a judge does. Now, you can plead your case since he is abusive toward him but in the end it is up to the judge to order it or not...and if he doesn't, you can't force it. In order for him to order it, he has to feel that it is in Frederick's best interest not to be alone with his dad. He isn't going to just take your word for it because it happens a LOT in divorces where one parent or the other says "They're abusive!" just to punish the other parent. You will need a good lawyer, witnesses to his abusive behavior and if possible police reports where they were called to protect you or him from your husband. So far, his abuse has only been verbal and emotional so that isn't in the cards. You do NOT want to make something up either because that will backfire on you and then later on if he does become physically abusive, no one will believe you. You may have to just accept the fact that he will have reasonable access to his son. It's all going to rest on the judge you get and to some degree the lawyer, because although any lawyer can argue a case, it takes a good one to argue a borderline case successfully. Yours is, at best a borderline case because you have no witnesses to his abuse. It's a case of he said/she said. Call a lawyer and ask them about all of this because they deal with these judges all the time so they know how easy or hard it will be to get his visitations supervised. They'll also be able to tell you if you have a chance of that at all. Although all abuse is serious, I don't know if most judges see emotional or mental abuse as being as serious as physical and therefore something they need to "protect" a child from. They should, but I'm not so sure they do.
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  #3  
November 5th, 2009, 08:05 AM
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What about the physical threats where he asked if I wanted punched in the face or him popped.

Maybe counselers will help.
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  #4  
November 5th, 2009, 05:40 PM
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Like I said earlier, at this point those would all be considered your word against his. Unless someone hears him say those things to you and is willing to testify to that, it's he said/she said. He could turn around and say that you threatened Frederick and he stopped you from hurting him and he worries about you being alone with him. The judge can't give too much weight to anything that either of you tells him without some way of corroborating the statement. He needs to KNOW that it isn't just made up. He can't be sure of that with only one of you making the claims. You need a lawyer and you need some way to back up what you are claiming.
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  #5  
November 5th, 2009, 05:52 PM
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In front of two friends of ours he did say I wasn't smart enough to home school our child.

I don't know how to catch him. Do I need to buy a voice recorder?? How any ideas? I'm already doing police reports where it's documented he asked little man if he wanted kicked in the head and he kicked me.
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  #6  
November 6th, 2009, 05:41 AM
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The police reports will help document the abuse, definitely. Anyone who sees him verbally or physically abuse you or Frederick will help.
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  #7  
November 6th, 2009, 06:26 AM
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I've got mutual friends who are willing to testify in court what they heard him say, plus emails from 2007 when the full brunt of economic abuse began. In those, I asked for money to buy food and maternity clotheds and he refuses.9
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  #8  
November 7th, 2009, 02:40 PM
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Sounds like you should get an attorney to me or at least go to legal aid in your area. I mean, its hard to use something from 2007 since it is 2009 now and we are close to the end of 2009 and you stayed with him all this time even though he was abusive. You know? I would really consult with a lawyer.
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