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Is getting some serious whiplash from court papers!!

Forum: Divorce and Separation


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November 13th, 2009, 08:16 AM
rubyredslipperz's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Needles, CA
Posts: 3,231

Yeah, 2+ years after the divorce is finalized I'm still getting it up the rear! It just seems like unless HE is completely 100% happy with what is going on then we're going back to court! I've been pretty much letting him have his way this whole time, well not for HIM but for the girls. Because they had a home with him and they go to school and have friends where he lives. And he has them for like 9 months out of the year basically. In july he filed that the kids not leave California, that if I want to see them then I have to come to California. I didn't get the court-papers until 3 weeks before the hearing and I did my best to respond. The mediator threw his wishes basically out the window and said that it doesn't matter if the kids are rooted in California, their mother lives in New Mexico and they need to see her! So we got that all squared away and agreed that we would split the costs on everything and what not. Well not I get MORE court papers and he's requesting modification that I be the only one to pay travel costs. That I have to come to him and what not because I am the one that moved. I just want to pull my hair out, I can't be going back to CA for court every two months! I know I can have a scheduled phone interview but I just feel it won't be the same. And it's just frustrating because we went over this ALREADY in July. And the court determined that travel costs be shared and we meet halfway or he brings them out here and I bring them back. They said that I could have the kids from the first day of winter break until the last day before they go back to school. So I made a plan with him to meet him 1/2 way on 12/19 and guess when the court date is??? 12/17!!! UGH! It's just so frustrating, and it stresses DH out too. He just gets irritated with all the back and forth and how unfair things are for me as it is and it seems he keeps taking and taking and taking and doing things to make it harder for me to see the girls. So now I have to write a letter of response and schedule a phone interview and yada yada, while I'm trying to prepare for Christmas and driving to CA to get my kids... Sorry to vent like his I just don't know what to do!

Oh and also, it irritates me that the main reason he's filing this time is because he's too **** lazy to keep a job! He keeps living off of state assistance and his wife works, so I know that they're able to provide and all but he doesn't want to spend the extra money doing what he's been ordered to legally do for the girls... it just really makes me mad! WHen they ordered him to take them out after the court date he said he didn't have the money because they'd just gone to disneyland 2 times that summer and the mediator said well find a way because those kids are going to see their mom whether you can afford it or not or you'll be held in contempt of court... I seriously don't think they'll change their verdict but the fact that he's doing this just pisses me off!
Raean, 27 - single mom to Chloe (1.31.03) & Savanna (8.26.05)

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November 13th, 2009, 07:13 PM
Mega Super Mommy
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Location: Kentucky
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I'm sorry he's doing that..

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November 14th, 2009, 06:18 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Florida
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What is so messed up about this is that it is OBVIOUS to me he is only doing this because he KNOWS it's getting to you and it's costing you a lot of time and money to keep coming to CA for the hearings. He's hoping you'll just say "I can't do it anymore. You do whatever you want and keep the kids." Perhaps if you mention that to the mediator? Is he disabled or just lazy? My ex is just lazy and living on disability and his girlfriend also. That's why I asked.
I hope he stops this garbage. It is so stressful on everyone including the kids. Oh and you never have to apologize here for long vents. That's what we're here for and I am known for long posts~! LOL
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November 17th, 2009, 12:28 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
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That is awful! Im so sorry you and your kids have to continue going through this!
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November 18th, 2009, 07:41 AM
rubyredslipperz's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Needles, CA
Posts: 3,231

He isn't disabled in the least, he's merely lazy. He keeps blaming his job losses on the poor economy and that employers hire him and after a few weeks just can't afford to keep him. I honestly think it BS! He's basically living off of government assistance and his wife's income. Oh and did I mention that they were still somehow able to go to Disneyland for 4 days a pop twice last summer!? Yet he's complaining that he doesn't have the money to meet me halfway to get/drop off the kids.. he's just trying to blow smoke up their arses and I'm not having it! I just get so irritated that this keeps happening, why can't it just all STOP!
Raean, 27 - single mom to Chloe (1.31.03) & Savanna (8.26.05)

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