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Ruling on the custody issue!!!!


Forum: Divorce and Separation

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  #1  
February 17th, 2010, 12:44 PM
Mom2LillieAidan's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: Alabama
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Finally heard from the judge!!!!

ORDER OF COURT
This cause having come before the Court on February 5th, 2010 on Instanter Motion For
Temporary Custody as filed by the Plaintiff; both parties being present and represented by counsel; and
from the sworn testimony and demeanor of the witnesses, and upon consideration, it is hereby
ORDERED, ADJUDGED, and DECREED by the Court as follows:
1. THAT the Instanter Motion For Temporary Custody filed by the Plaintiff-Father is hereby
denied conditionally.
2. THAT the Defendant-Mother is awarded pendente Lite custody of the minor child
conditioned upon the child remaining in the jurisdiction of this Court, unless prior approval to remove the
child has been given by the Court, and that the Defendant’s mother continues to reside with the
Defendant and assist in the caring for the child.
3. THAT the Plaintiff-Father is awarded alternate weekend visitation with the minor child from
6:00 p.m. on Friday until 6:00 p.m. on Sunday; Father’s Day weekend, and a month during the summer
provided the case has not been heard prior to that time.
4. THAT neither party shall have a member of the opposite sex overnight at any time the child
is present.
5. THAT the trial date of June 2nd, 2010 at 9:00 a.m. is hereby reaffirmed.
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  #2  
February 17th, 2010, 01:34 PM
KrazE's Avatar ShutTheFrontDoor
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MommyToLillie View Post
Finally heard from the judge!!!!

ORDER OF COURT
This cause having come before the Court on February 5th, 2010 on Instanter Motion For
Temporary Custody as filed by the Plaintiff; both parties being present and represented by counsel; and
from the sworn testimony and demeanor of the witnesses, and upon consideration, it is hereby
ORDERED, ADJUDGED, and DECREED by the Court as follows:
1. THAT the Instanter Motion For Temporary Custody filed by the Plaintiff-Father is hereby
denied conditionally.
2. THAT the Defendant-Mother is awarded pendente Lite custody of the minor child
conditioned upon the child remaining in the jurisdiction of this Court, unless prior approval to remove the
child has been given by the Court, and that the Defendant’s mother continues to reside with the
Defendant and assist in the caring for the child.
3. THAT the Plaintiff-Father is awarded alternate weekend visitation with the minor child from
6:00 p.m. on Friday until 6:00 p.m. on Sunday; Father’s Day weekend, and a month during the summer
provided the case has not been heard prior to that time.
4. THAT neither party shall have a member of the opposite sex overnight at any time the child
is present.
5. THAT the trial date of June 2nd, 2010 at 9:00 a.m. is hereby reaffirmed.
Ok lets see...

  1. He's been denied temp custody conditionally (provided you abide by point #2)
  2. You have been given temporary (pendente Lite) custody as long as you don't move from the jurisdiction of the court (the living area that would require you to use that specific court for any matters regarding the kids) AND as long as you either live with, or your mother lives with you
  3. Obviously spelled out, and the case goes to the court before the summer so the month may become null & void depending on court on June 2nd
  4. You cannot have a boyfriend/fiancé/husband sleep over, nor can he have a girlfriend/fiancée/wife sleep over (when either of you have the children).
  5. Date of next court hearing
Well.. you have some pluses in a sense that he only has visitation, but I fear that the order is very confining. It allows you to have your child (at this time) but if you move from the jurisdiction, or your mother does not live in the same home, you'll be breaking the order.
Was there no temporary order for child support?? Waiting until June for that is excessive and you are going to have to make certain that you request support arrears to the date of filing (when the process started).
My apologies if there is already support being paid out to you, but I'm surprised that nothing was ordered even 'without prejudice' at this time.

All in all, I am glad to see that they denied his motion and going forward visits will be structured.
Please remember to keep a journal of contact and visitation. Note when there is contact, the topic, if there was anything of concern and also if he cancels visits, if he is late for pick up or drop off, if there is no reasonable notice to either/or.

My mind is a bit blank at the moment, so if you need to ask anything certainly let me know.
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  #3  
February 17th, 2010, 02:50 PM
Mom2LillieAidan's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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There was no order for support, but when I talk to my lawyer again, I will be requesting that she file for it.

As for it being confining, I won't be moving out of the jurisdiction and my mother will not be leaving me. So it really isn't that confining to me.
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  #4  
February 17th, 2010, 09:36 PM
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I am sooo glad this worked out! I have heard those kinds of things-no opposite sex around the child and such....

What I dont understand is why you have to live with your mother to have custody? Seems so strange to me?

Sounds like it went well, though! So happy for you!
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  #5  
February 17th, 2010, 10:04 PM
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Congrats to you!

However, I don't know, it seems weird to me that they would award weekend visitations for a baby so young. Is that normal? And a full month in the summer? It just seems like your baby is quite young for so much time away from her primary caregiver. Maybe it's because I breastfeed, I don't know, it just would not be possible for my baby to be away that long.
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  #6  
February 18th, 2010, 05:05 AM
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Congratulations!
I kinda agree with Rebecca...seems like a lot of overnights for one so young. Especially a month in the summer. I can't imagine being separated from my children for a month at any age but especially when they were babies!
I know you're glad to have that behind you, though.
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  #7  
February 18th, 2010, 06:44 AM
Mom2LillieAidan's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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The condition that my mom continue to live is here is because when I find a job, she will be the one taking care of Lillie while I work. Kind of like live-in childcare. I like her being here.
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  #8  
February 19th, 2010, 09:48 PM
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  #9  
March 3rd, 2010, 09:55 AM
Daisyfields's Avatar Platinum Super Mega Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KrazE View Post
Ok lets see...

Well.. you have some pluses in a sense that he only has visitation, but I fear that the order is very confining. It allows you to have your child (at this time) but if you move from the jurisdiction, or your mother does not live in the same home, you'll be breaking the order.
Was there no temporary order for child support?? Waiting until June for that is excessive and you are going to have to make certain that you request support arrears to the date of filing (when the process started).
My apologies if there is already support being paid out to you, but I'm surprised that nothing was ordered even 'without prejudice' at this time.

All in all, I am glad to see that they denied his motion and going forward visits will be structured.
Please remember to keep a journal of contact and visitation. Note when there is contact, the topic, if there was anything of concern and also if he cancels visits, if he is late for pick up or drop off, if there is no reasonable notice to either/or.

My mind is a bit blank at the moment, so if you need to ask anything certainly let me know.
I'm going to respond as a mother who had to go to court for custody "and" visitation, which are two separate issues. When I went to court for child support w/ my first son, they would not hear of anything to do w/ visitation, or custody, they only discussed what my ex would be paying in CS, what if any in arrears, and who would pay for health insurance. When it came to specifics, my lawyer said "this is separate & we're not here for that, we're here for CS payments". The judge said the same thing to me/us.

When it came to my DH & his 1st marriage, they never went to court, they never had a judge or lawyers, they went to a mediator (BIGGEST MISTAKE ANYONE COULD EVER MAKE!!!!) any who... DH got a bad deal, and she seemed to get everything & anything, to this date, it's that way & it's b/c they had a mediator do the work & my DH had no lawyer looking out for his best interest & his rights as a father, as well as a reasonable/set amount in CS payments, not increasing the payments at teh beginning of each new year, like his says. In order for my DH to have that stuff altered/changed, he'd have to hire an attorney, $2k just to get one, then $200 an hr. for their work & we'd be fighting for a while b/c his 1st wife has it GOOD & there is no way in heck that she will relinquish her cushy lifestyle w/ out a major knock-down , fight. Her parents have LOTS of $$$ & will do what ever she wants.

What I wanted to add is make sure you are careful w/ who is around the child, keep a journal of EVERYTHING (time, dates) and then if you can, do not answer the telephone, let him call you, leaving you a v/mail or having him to email you, this way, this info CAN be used in court, so if he blows his stack or freaks out, you can prove it. If you get a call, talk to him & have an argument & document the argument, it's all hearsay, and you can't tape the conversation w/ out him knowing either. But when someone leaves a winded v/mail (as my DH's 1st wife has done w/ us) or sends an email (as again, DH's 1st wife has done too), I have to laugh b/c this info., all stuff that we can use against her & honestly, anyone who leaves nasty v/mails or sends a nasty email, well... they are digging their own grave. So just be careful of what you say & to whom you say it too.

I'm not an expert on everything, but when it comes to court orders, visitation, custody, physical custody (which is different than joint legal), child support payments, medical expenses & "extras"...that is something I know in & out, sadly from a lot of experience.

I hope all turns out well for you. I'm here if you need to chat too.

(((HUGS)))
~C
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  #10  
March 3rd, 2010, 10:11 AM
KrazE's Avatar ShutTheFrontDoor
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Daisyfields
I'm going to respond as a mother who had to go to court for custody "and" visitation, which are two separate issues. When I went to court for child support w/ my first son, they would not hear of anything to do w/ visitation, or custody, they only discussed what my ex would be paying in CS, what if any in arrears, and who would pay for health insurance. When it came to specifics, my lawyer said "this is separate & we're not here for that, we're here for CS payments". The judge said the same thing to me/us.
This may have been the jurisdiction that you're in or even more so in your case. It appears that your lawyer separated the matters for whatever reason he/she felt in doing so, but it's not standard across the board.
I was, am and always will be my own lawyer in court matters regarding Family Law which including filing, serving and court appearances, so yes, I am very well versed on the topic.

Custody and visitation were separated in your matter from the child support and insurance matter - but they can, and typically are amalgamated unless there are extenuating circumstances that prevent them from being heard at the same time OR the lawyer in the matter filed and served for one at a different time than the other.
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  #11  
March 3rd, 2010, 08:29 PM
Mom2LillieAidan's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Well the reason for this particular hearing was because he filed for EMERGENCY temporary custody, so the judge just wanted to hear about why it was such an emergency. He didn't want to hear anything else. There was no CS or anything else discussed at the hearing.
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  #12  
March 31st, 2010, 06:28 AM
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It was the same here. There are actually completely separate courts here. There is the Child Support Enforcment Courthouse and the General Courthouse with Chancory and Criminal Courts, etc. Maybe it is because I live in a bigger city though...
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  #13  
March 31st, 2010, 08:08 AM
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Custody and support are totally seperate here too. The courthouse handles custody and domestic relations handles child support, they are not connected at all. I think it is stupid, because my daughter will be 2 next week and her father was over $5,000 behind on a child not yet 2. He didn't pay support for 11 months, yet he was still allowed to see her, and I feel, if they don't pay child support, then they shouldn't see the child. I understand there are situations where somebody cant pay for a month or 2, but he was working under the table and getting good money, and drinking it away, it wasn't that he couldn't support her, he chose not to. But, I wasn't allowed to say, "until you pay support you won't be seeing her" because it is not related at all here in PA.

Anyway, I am glad you are happy with the ruling. How old is your baby? I can't imagine a month either, that is crazy. I would fight that, to atleast get weekend visits, your child won't remember you after a month if it is too young, that will be terrible.
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  #14  
March 31st, 2010, 09:19 AM
Mom2LillieAidan's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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My daughter will be 9 months old on April 14th. My attrny told me that month can be broken up into 4 weeks and that's what we'll do. We've already discussed it and he knows I can't go a whole month without seeing her. So he's gonna do a week in June, a week in July and 2 in August.
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  #15  
March 31st, 2010, 10:17 AM
KrazE's Avatar ShutTheFrontDoor
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That really sucks that they have separated matters in the courts there. Out here, you can file an emergency notice and include both on them, I've done it personally, and I have been able to receive temp orders based off of that.

Hopefully things will settle better for you, but I will tell you from experience - do not budget for child support, do everything based off of what you know for certain (money from a job etc) and treat the support as a 'bonus' that shows up when or if it does.
It's the end of March and I have yet to see anything from my ex in regards to his filing taxes as well. I have already done mine & have his copy of my notice ready for his next visitation day, but nothing from him usually until June.

I haven't a clue what sneaky things he is up to at this point, but I know he is doing work for cash under the table as the kids have told me that they have very expensive high end stuff now - all brand new furniture including a 50 inch LCD TV in the livingroom and a 52 inch TV in the rec room in the basement, plus new appliances, a new car for her and he recently got a newer model SUV again - but he's still a few thousand behind in child support.
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