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Im outta here this weekend. Im done. Im leaving the kids with my family and heading out. Dont call me unless there is a REAL emergency, an emergent global pandemic.
Good stress is still stress and Im maxxed. It's the end of the quarter so it's crazy. Then all the hoops to jump through to get my program file in order for next quarter.I had a VIOLENT flu, now the baby is sick, my toddler split open his top lip (last time it was his lower lip) and I dont even know how this kid still has teeth left! My daughter was having all this trouble at school, wanted me to homeschool her, but now that I got accepted into this program, I cant give her the education she deserves and feel I would be cheating her out of an education because I just dont have the time. It would be a HUGE burden on the family....and I just dont see a way. So I decided not to do that.
This class is over mid march. Then I have ONE WEEK until my toddler has surgery...and will have a catheter for 7-10 days. A week after his surgery, Spring quarter starts. I still need to get all this crap for school. The attorney mediation appt is this Friday to HOPEFULLY avoid a trial. If not, trial will be mid march as well...days after my class is over, but before the surgery...The kids need their shots and dental exams, but that may just have to wait until insurance switches over....they wont die waiting another month.
I cant even BREATHE. Im very happy, just have so much right now. And then I think ahead to June when I get my certificate and fantasize how good that feels. There are good things too. My attorney is very caring. I went to go and give her the remaining money I had left to my name, and she told me to just hang onto it and use it for the kids...that we will see what happens Friday. OMG! I wanted to cry! I ahve paid for ALL of my classes to get this certificate with the measly amount from him. This last fianl class costs me $907 not including my books. Then it's $65 for the BLS card. And 40 or 50 something for the background check. So all the money he has given has gone to school, the attorney and rent...NOT my kids for things such a clothes, recreation, nothing. They need clothes...my mom helps with the kids clothes when she can, but 5 kids it seems like one of them ALWAYS needs something. Constant.
I just couldn't believe that an attorney would actually have a heart, if that makes sense. I am so thankful. I know it wont be like this forever and even better after I have my cert and am working....but D A M N its hard right now!
Oh you SOOOO deserve some time off! I'm so glad that things are falling into place! And yes, stress--good or bad--is still stress! All the changes you're going through and all that you have already been through...it's been a rough year! And..it's been an exciting year, too. I must say I have enjoyed watching you go from a terrified woman, woirried about how she was going to make it on her own, to someone who has finally found out how wonderful her life is going to be and is completely embracing it! You're blossoming! It's a wonderful sight to behold and I am SO GLAD you stuck it out here so I could watch you become who you were meant to be! There is so much more ahead but you know now you will make it. You know your worth and you know you are capable of so much more than what your ex gave you credit for...and what you gave yourself credit for! I can't wait to see what's next! LOL