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Devastated


Forum: Divorce and Separation

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  #1  
March 9th, 2010, 02:04 AM
Brandielou's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Alabama
Posts: 2,178
So still no papers, protection order hearing if Friday and District Court case for Domestic Violence is March 29.

I discovered that he is taking care of his new woman's children. Small pink and white bicycle and small motorized 4-wheeler in the backyard and all.

He told me for over a year he wanted a family with me. We had been TTC for a complete year. He got me in the "mommy" mindset, then when he said he wanted a divorce he criticized me for wanting the American dream but he's the one who's watching the kids play in the backyard? Everyone kept telling me that this woman was nothing more than a piece of booty, she was nothing, that she had kids and was in no position to do anything and I kept telling everyone it was the opposite. That he would indeed be moving her and her children into the home that I shared with my husband. Less than a month later, look what is happening. I don't know if I can overcome this, I was trying to do ok with the fact for 11 years he went on and on how he could never cheat because of his childhood and seeing what his mother went through but now that I see that someone's else children have been playing in my back yard, yeah devastated is probably an understatement for how I feel.

After he said we couldn't be foster parents or adopt because he couldn't 100% love and connect with a child who wasn't "his" but he has no problem buying these nice toys or loading up these toys and hauling these children around for his new woman?!! OMG. I just can't stand it.
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  #2  
March 9th, 2010, 04:58 AM
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Location: Florida
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I am soooo sorry! That must cut deep. I wish I could make the hurt go away but unfortunately, time is all that can do that. Don't torture yourself with what should have beens...he is not worth that. No man who is capable of such heartlessness is! Focus on you and pulling yourself through this. Someday you will meet someone who is worthy of your love and devotion and he will not cheat. Until then, we're here to listen and comfort as best we can and to help you through this.
HUGS!
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  #3  
March 9th, 2010, 09:23 AM
Mom2LillieAidan's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Alabama
Posts: 2,684
Oh Brandie... I'm so sorry. If you need to talk, you've got my number. Or you can come over anytime. It was nice hanging out with you.
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  #4  
March 9th, 2010, 11:49 AM
KrazE's Avatar ShutTheFrontDoor
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 2,546
It sounds to me like he wanted the instant family with as little effort as possible and less strings. He's probably going to drop her like a hot potato when he gets bored of playing house and she'll have put her babies through it all for his games.
It's certainly not easy for you, but keep reminding yourself that finding out how useless he is now was certainly better than finding that out later with a baby or two on your hip just trying to make ends meet.
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  #5  
March 9th, 2010, 01:46 PM
MommaLee's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Texas
Posts: 8,986
Brandie....I wanted to offer my sincere and deepest apologies for what you are going through. I have been wondering what happened to you and I'm heartbroken to read this. HUGS!

Lee Ann
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  #6  
March 10th, 2010, 12:38 AM
Brandielou's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Alabama
Posts: 2,178
Thank you everyone. I don't know how I am going to make it, I was doing somewhat ok to know about her but to find that and then my neighbor asked me how my moving was going the other day and I informed her that I moved out a month ago and then she said "Well there was a moving truck there the other day" yeah. I never knew someone could be such a monster and God knows how long he's been doing this.

Lee Ann~ it has been the most painful thing I have ever gone through and don't understand one bit of it and I probably never will. I just can't believe he is moving them in less than a month later and we don't even have divorce papers! But it doesn't happen overnight so there is no telling how long they've been seeing each other but I don't know if I can make it through this part and you know how involved I was with TTC and how involved I *thought* he was so even though we don't have children it feels like that has been taken from me. I just don't want to hurt anymore and it seems like every time I turn around it feels like an other stab to the heart
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  #7  
March 10th, 2010, 04:54 AM
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Brandie, I know right now it feels like the world is crashing down on you. I'm worried about you, hon. Do you have someone close to talk to? You've lost so much in such a short time and you're dealing with all of that. You WILL get through this, I promise. We have all been there and experienced the feeling of "what now?" and "Why me?" and I know it doesn't feel like you can possibly get through this but you will. There is help if you start feeling like you really just can't take it anymore.
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