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It saddens me to say, but I think I am going to be joining you guys here. After a roller coaster marriage if you even want to call it that right now my spouse wants to separate perminantly. We don't fight and he keeps things cooped up inside. He hides behind his computer when he is home along with his drinking beer has picked up again after seeing someone to talk about his issues. He dropped the bomb on me last night. We have done councelling before and he stopped wanting to go. We have not done anything like a familly since I don't know how long ago. I have made so many sacrifices for him and have gotten nothing in return. He basically told me he has given it a chance and its not working. How can this relationship work on its problems when you don't talk about it and hide behind the beer and the computer. I have given it my all been trying to go on date nights and just to be turned down. I told him he has not given it a chance since he has refused to work at it. I think it is selfish on his part . He only thinks of himself and that's it. He knows I have been struggling to make ends meet with my small paycheque and he goes and spends money on things he does not need right now . Like how many cell phones does one need. Why promise to update my computer and spend the money only on his own. Has a working camera buys himself another and things like that. My van is sitting broke in the driveway with the tire off its rim which he did with the last snow fall. And needs other repairs. I am so done with this. I can't ride this emotional roller coaser anymore. I feel so bad for the kids they have lost out on all this father and kids time because he refuses to go do things. I guess we have decided to wait till school is done to tell the kids cause its going to break my oldest heart. I feel like such a loser and feel like I will never find that hapiness that I had hope for for so many years. I guess I have lost hope. I feel like its my fault insome ways. Iam lost don't know how to go about this. Not sure if I can get help with houseing here or just pick up and move to where my mom lives and try and start my new life there. Sorry to have rabled on like this. I don't want to post any of this on my boards cause I don't want it affecting my hosting of those boards.
Guess I am looking for input and info to see what my options are out there. Not sure if there are other Canadians here or not.
thanks for listening
I am sorry to read that things have been tough for you, especially since you have tried to make things work with little to no input from your husband.
Where does your mother live? Would it give you better access to jobs/stores/transportation than where you live (you're about 40 mins from where I am so I know the area).
Do you own or rent where you are? This could make a difference as well. Does your husband realize that he will need to pay child support?
Do you work close to where you live?
Remember this, what is happening is not your fault, you're not the one who gave up, his is. You're the one that kept trying, he paid no attention. You have done all that you can think of and it's become unfair on you.
I would highly recommend that if you have a joint bank account, you open one in your name only & get your pay, child tax benefit, gst etc etc moved over to it so he will not have access to your money to spend on himself anymore.
I'm around most days, though at work so my responses my not be as long (which could be good) or as quick, but I'm around
My mom lives in southwestern Ontario about 8 hrs away. I work in Ottawa. I work two 12 hr shifts on the weekend the rest of the week look after the house and make sure the kids get ready on time to go to school . And all our house chores done. Which I don't get help with. We never have had a joined account it was always a different excuse when I wanted to set one up so I gave up. I still have my own account and that is where my universal daycare money goes to. As for child allowance thanks to the taxes not being done and his procrastination I have not had any since July. So basically my pay cheque goes to groceries and making sure the kids get clothes and so on. I have aleady told him he is not getting the kids. I will have to figure out what the best approach would be on this inregards to getting myself set up for housing , getting assistance if need be and get the kids transfered to a different school. I will not leave our house until everything is set up and if he can't live with that arrangement he will need to figure out where he will stay. I will insist that he will continue to pay the morgage and bills until said time the house gets sold.