Log In Sign Up

It's final....


Forum: Divorce and Separation

Notices

Welcome to the JustMommies Message Boards.

We pride ourselves on having the friendliest and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment and register for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers. If you have any problems registering please drop an email to boards@justmommies.com.

Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!

Reply Post New Topic
  Subscribe To Divorce and Separation LinkBack Topic Tools Search this Topic Display Modes
  #1  
March 11th, 2010, 11:39 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: none
Posts: 1,133
Divorced. Single. Free. Sad. Happy. Relieved. Scared. Nauseated. I am neither excited nor regretful. And @$#!@$#%! That will be all..........


So uh....what do I do now?

Last edited by hopenot4gotten; March 11th, 2010 at 09:24 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #2  
March 11th, 2010, 12:19 PM
broncos08's Avatar paiently waiting
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Idaho
Posts: 388
Love you kids and don't forget about them. My mom got divorced when I was 9. She moves us back in with her parents and grams and gramps ended up raising us, though they tried to get her to take responsibility.
__________________

Thanks geogeek for my blinkies!
http://bookscompleteme.com
Reply With Quote
  #3  
March 11th, 2010, 01:31 PM
mousemomof3's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Osgoode,Ontario, Canada
Posts: 30,992
Send a message via MSN to mousemomof3
Congrats on becoming single
__________________


Reply With Quote
  #5  
March 11th, 2010, 09:25 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: none
Posts: 1,133
Quote:
Originally Posted by broncos08 View Post
Love you kids and don't forget about them. My mom got divorced when I was 9. She moves us back in with her parents and grams and gramps ended up raising us, though they tried to get her to take responsibility.
Thankfully Im not a mom like yours was....sorry to hear that.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
March 11th, 2010, 09:33 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: none
Posts: 1,133
Quote:
Originally Posted by ms.crystal View Post
come on over to the single mommies board. Lots of support there
I could frequent that board although this will always be my 'home', you know? Love the gals here! You all got me through some serious emotional ups and downs. Dani, my girl, you were there every step of the way! Im sure there is a little more to come....but WOW! This was sure a tough year and a half. I think that if I had not gone to school or had some sort of sense of accomplishment, and done something positive for me and the kids, I would be in downward spiral of seemingly never-ending depression. Support and success are the keys to moving forward.

Thanks girls!
Reply With Quote
  #7  
March 12th, 2010, 03:39 AM
KrazE's Avatar ShutTheFrontDoor
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 2,546
Keep your chin up, and keep smiling 'cause it's just going to get better.

Isn't the air much easier to breathe now?
__________________
~~~~~~~~~~

Reply With Quote
  #8  
March 12th, 2010, 05:11 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Florida
Posts: 2,091
Send a message via AIM to Blondzilla
CONGRATULATIONS!!!! Everything you're feeling is completely normal-- the bad feelings will fade and the good ones will grow!
Quote:
Originally Posted by hopenot4gotten View Post
I think that if I had not gone to school or had some sort of sense of accomplishment, and done something positive for me and the kids, I would be in downward spiral of seemingly never-ending depression. Support and success are the keys to moving forward.
And that is why my advice to ANYONE who is starting through this process it to focus on yourself. Hope, you are amazing! You have come so far from where you started and this is just the begining! You're an inspiration to anyone who is just starting through this. Yes it has been quite a year and a half (has it really been that long????) for you. Just look how far you have come! You go girl!
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #9  
March 16th, 2010, 11:11 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: none
Posts: 1,133
Thanks so much Dani, KrazE. Am I alone in these feelings???..... to still love the kind of person he was when I married him, but KNOW you cant be with that person anymore because you deserve soooo much better and that person is G-O-N-E???

I miss being married. I love married life. I miss the partnership at first. I dont miss the fighting and begging to keep the water on versus video games or whatever...I miss the feeling of being snuggled up on cold nights or watching a movie when things were good, of course. I miss sex. I miss talking. Ok, so Im feeling lonely...what can I say?

I also feel sad again lately. I know it's still going to be a rollercoaster of emotions...I just wish it wouldn't be.

I am thinking that I am going to move out of state this summer....it makes it easier in some ways, harder in others...

I just feel kinda like a train wreck again.........man...........
Reply With Quote
  #10  
March 17th, 2010, 05:50 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Florida
Posts: 2,091
Send a message via AIM to Blondzilla
Yep. You're normal. For right now, you might want to stay put. You have family and support there and unless you have someone in the new state, you would be giving that up. When is the last time you had a day to yourself? I know you had one a few months ago...any recently? Can you arrange one? Go spend the day on YOU again and enjoy being an adult. Find someone to take the babies and take the older children to a movie or out for pizza or something. Do something you don't get to do much. Go have some fun!
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #11  
March 17th, 2010, 06:07 AM
Daisyfields's Avatar Platinum Super Mega Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: In the enchanted forest
Posts: 5,257
I want to say congrats, but I know that this is bitter sweet for you. I hope you are okay. I can't imagine what you're feeling or going through.

(((HUGS)))
__________________



Reply With Quote
  #12  
March 19th, 2010, 10:42 PM
Brandielou's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Alabama
Posts: 2,178
Quote:
Originally Posted by hopenot4gotten View Post
Thanks so much Dani, KrazE. Am I alone in these feelings???..... to still love the kind of person he was when I married him, but KNOW you cant be with that person anymore because you deserve soooo much better and that person is G-O-N-E???

I miss being married. I love married life. I miss the partnership at first. I dont miss the fighting and begging to keep the water on versus video games or whatever...I miss the feeling of being snuggled up on cold nights or watching a movie when things were good, of course. I miss sex. I miss talking. Ok, so Im feeling lonely...what can I say?
The bolded quote is because that is what I realized the morning that I left. For weeks I kept saying "this just isn't him, not MY husband. Not the man I loved." Then when I saw his mugshot when I went back to work, I looked at him and the look on his face, that was NOT MY husband. I couldn't (and still can't) believe that he could hurt me so very badly. And he kept telling me he was sorry, but he was sorry for hurting me and sorry (out of guilt) for what he had been doing but he wasn't sorry for what he was doing.


To your comment about marriage, that is all the things I greatly miss, even though I have to remind myself that in my situation, I thought it was ok. I thought he loved me, I thought he wanted to snuggle with me and be with me but it was the complete opposite. But it scares me to think I'll never have all those things again, no one to go out with, no one to watch a movie, no one to drink hot chocolate with during the winter, no one to snuggle with or to call me. God that is the scariest feeling in the world. Then it just adds to the hurt because its like, WTH?! I HAD all of that! Then I go into beat-myself-up-mode and then ask myself "Why couldn't I make it work?!"

We can be sad together
__________________

Thank you HeatherW for my beautiful siggy!
Reply With Quote
  #13  
March 21st, 2010, 12:35 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: none
Posts: 1,133
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brandielou View Post
The bolded quote is because that is what I realized the morning that I left. For weeks I kept saying "this just isn't him, not MY husband. Not the man I loved." Then when I saw his mugshot when I went back to work, I looked at him and the look on his face, that was NOT MY husband. I couldn't (and still can't) believe that he could hurt me so very badly. And he kept telling me he was sorry, but he was sorry for hurting me and sorry (out of guilt) for what he had been doing but he wasn't sorry for what he was doing.


To your comment about marriage, that is all the things I greatly miss, even though I have to remind myself that in my situation, I thought it was ok. I thought he loved me, I thought he wanted to snuggle with me and be with me but it was the complete opposite. But it scares me to think I'll never have all those things again, no one to go out with, no one to watch a movie, no one to drink hot chocolate with during the winter, no one to snuggle with or to call me. God that is the scariest feeling in the world. Then it just adds to the hurt because its like, WTH?! I HAD all of that! Then I go into beat-myself-up-mode and then ask myself "Why couldn't I make it work?!"

We can be sad together
First paragraph is probably denial. (I replied to your post, by the way) I still go through denial and mine is legally over!!! Although I miss those things, it does not define who I am, it is not the end of the world. I get lonely...for sure...but trust me when I say it is NOT all that bad. I can say this now because I have had the time to go through all the crap....almost a year and half. Still a raw, open wound....and no matter how much I try to fill the sucker up with the Neosporin, it just takes its own d a m n time to heal.
Reply With Quote
  #14  
April 23rd, 2010, 02:23 PM
4wildflowers's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Northern Nevada
Posts: 3,175
Send a message via Yahoo to 4wildflowers
Gosh, I meant to reply to this a long time ago.

I can't say congratulations on the divorce b/c I see you feel the same way about yours as I did mine ... but here is to less stress now that it's final.

Quote:
I think that if I had not gone to school or had some sort of sense of accomplishment, and done something positive for me and the kids, I would be in downward spiral of seemingly never-ending depression. Support and success are the keys to moving forward.
I completely understand where you are coming from! I go to school as well and it makes a HUGE difference.

Quote:
Am I alone in these feelings???..... to still love the kind of person he was when I married him, but KNOW you cant be with that person anymore because you deserve soooo much better and that person is G-O-N-E???

I miss being married. I love married life. I miss the partnership at first. I dont miss the fighting and begging to keep the water on versus video games or whatever...I miss the feeling of being snuggled up on cold nights or watching a movie when things were good, of course. I miss sex. I miss talking. Ok, so Im feeling lonely...what can I say?

I also feel sad again lately. I know it's still going to be a rollercoaster of emotions...I just wish it wouldn't be.
I could be writing your posts. Nope, you are not alone in your feelings. Ditto to pretty much everything you said.

Best of luck to you! <3
__________________
Heather

My kids.....
Jake 13
Shane 9
Brynne 6
Claire 4



Reply With Quote
  #15  
April 30th, 2010, 11:34 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: none
Posts: 1,133
Thanks Heather....Gosh I have to catch up here...I have been so busy!
Reply With Quote
Reply

Topic Tools Search this Topic
Search this Topic:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 06:33 AM.



Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0