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More Drama, as ALWAYS!!


Forum: Divorce and Separation

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  #1  
April 18th, 2010, 09:52 PM
Brandielou's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Alabama
Posts: 2,178
So, the first part which isn't that interesting but creepy. So I made all my facebook and stuff private because STBX has just recently re-signed up for FB, his girlfriend just got it for the first time, and STBX's family and his whole new group of friends are all on FB so I made everything private because I knew he wouldn't be looking but I knew either his gf would or her friends. So my brother in law was a friend on my best friend's page but I told her that I was probably going to delete my FB because if BIL was on her friends list he could see the comments she and I post so she deleted him but I told her she didn't have to. This was probably a month and a half ago.

So last night I was going out with some friends from work for a co-workers birthday. My best friend text me to tell me they are going to the bar we always go to (it is a piano bar but they play fun songs, not classical music) and it is a very small bar (1 bartender and 1 waitress) and we go every other weekend so they all know us. I tell her I was already out but I told her to text me because I didn't know how long I'd be out but might stop by to see her. So a few hours later she texts me to tell me that my BIL was at the piano bar! He sent over a drink to her table (and she was with a large group of people & a lot of guys) & she didn't know at first who the drink came from because the waitress looked kind of confused & said that guy over there. So she goes up to him and blasts him telling him that his brother is scum & he's a douche bag. Then BIL (who has been partying with STBX & that whole group of people, friends with them on FB & has been in these pictures like @ the Hooter's bikini car wash) says that he recently had a falling out with STBX & STBX was burning all bridges with the family over the crap he was doing & STBX has been talking (bad) about me to anyone who will listen & BIL told STBX he didn't want to hear about it anymore. But BIL loves to lie, so I don't believe a word out of his mouth. So then she says BIL comes to the table she is at but she blows him off & he walks away. She told me he was by himself which I don't believe & I knew what was probably going on. I had the feeling he was looking for me, at least to go back & report (you'll probably see why later on when I post the important drama) because she said then he walked outside and just stood outside looking around.

So I'm on my way because I'm like, no the he// way. So she said they all left & he didn't say a word to her but then tells me he had been talking to this guy. I get down there because if he was looking for me, I wanted him to find me, I wanted him to KNOW I knew what he was doing (because I asked her if she posted it on FB where she was going & she said yes but I already know her FB is private because I tried to look at it when I was logged on to STBX's old FB & couldn't see anything at all). So we're at the new club because even if I didn't see BIL I wanted her to tell me to my face what had happened. So we're there & I'm having some drinks & think it may be some strange coincidence. Then the guy he was talking to walks in the new bar. I tell her to make sure he sees her because I knew he was going to report back to BIL so guy goes to the bar. She waits a few & her & a friend of hers goes up behind him and he's texting someone... "She's Here"
Then she bumps into him & he gets up and walks out. Never did see BIL although I was waiting for him.

What is so weird is that the piano bar is NOT STBX or BIL's speed, at all. But STBX knows that my friend was dying for me to go to the piano bar (but he didn't know the name but there is only one where I live) and STBX knows my days off. It is weird because BIL wasn't with anyone, which I don't believe because where I live the street that all the night clubs are on is like a whole area, you don't go downtown on a Saturday night alone. So I was freaked. Today she said she was expecting him to send her a message or something on FB or Myspace if he was interested in her (because they had hooked up while STBX & I were on our honeymoon & BIL was "house sitting" aka drinking & partying with his friends at our house & in our hot tub) but says hasn't heard from him & we thought maybe that guy was texting BIL about my friend but if he was texting about her & BIL was looking for her, he would have showed up & he didn't & he didn't contact her today.

And if STBX really did have a falling out, it wasn't with his mom's side bc they're all friends on FB but if he did have a falling out with anyone over what BIL quoted as "all this stuff he's doing" I'm like, I wonder what the falling out was over. Especially if he's dogging me out to everyone who would listen. So then my mom said "Because people aren't stupid. He isn't saying how awful you are and then a month later starts wagging around some woman with 2 children, moves her in, introduces her to the family (Easter pics I saw with him & the new woman's child), and then continues to try and say you're so awful." She said people might have said, "Umm...so she was so awful & y'all were together 11 years so you wanted a divorce....oh yeah...who is this woman and who are these children?" And what I think is that (if it is true at all) all it would have taken is ONE person to be like, "Well she was always really nice" or someone saying anything positive about me and it would have sent him on the WAR PATH of saying just how awful I was. But my mom just laughs because she tells me he's made his own self look like scum by what he has done & thinking people are so stupid not to see what is going on. But on the other hand, STBX is still working for his father & all of that so I don't really believe it but it was a very weird ordeal because I felt like they were looking for someone and I feel like they were looking for me (but I may be just paranoid).

So...

The important drama:

STBX is appealing the guilty verdict of the domestic violence. I was crushed. I don't know if he's just trying to clear his name or he's trying to get me to be found guilty (which has already been noted in the police report there were no marks on him, but if you read my ordeal about what happened in court, they pulled out all the stops & crucified me about EVERYTHING in my entire marriage, not just that incident). So I called my attorney in tears & he was totally cool about it. He was like, "I wanted to tell you they definitely would appeal it but I just told you they might but he said if you're going to fight something which I knew they were from the start because they said not guilty at arraignment, I knew they would appeal it." Then he said "I'll go with you, I'll be there with you. Just let me know when you get your paperwork because once I know the Circuit judge of the case I'll know exactly how we need to handle what we need to do". He's supposedly a good attorney & has done a few things for the girls my mom works with (and she and they work at Probate Court) & he handles higher end cases (& was recently working on a murder case) & he is totally a non bullsh|t kind of person & tells my mom "Please tell her I'm not being mean, I'm just being honest" because there was an attorney that said she would get STBX out of the house & she would do all this stuff....for $3000 & couldn't really tell me what the possible outcome would be, so he's still mad about that. And everything that he has warned me about has happened so when he was so relaxed about what I was telling him it made me feel better, even when I was telling him all the stuff they tried to use against me (like the antidepressants) and he said all that didn't even matter so if he'll go and stand up for me, I'll do it. I'll go again, but when I meet with him when I get my paperwork I'm not going to fight it if he thinks he'll get away with it because I don't even want to see STBX's face anymore. I don't want to hear his voice.

But conveniently they appealed the same week my attorney sent my reply/list-of-wants to his attorney

So, ladies. My drama title has upheld itself. Sadly.

I'm going to be less vocal online (and I am hesitant about on here because you can google your username and your posts show up) but I have no reason to hide but with my luck, I'll have to defend my right of free speech and have to explain it and justify it

I just want it to be over. I don't care anymore. It may be just because so much drama happens all at one time but its like I just want to take a break from even caring about it or talking about it because I'm so sick of it. He really isn't worth my time and it may just be the mood I'm in that makes me think that but that's the way I feel right now. Especially thinking about all the bad things he has been saying and I thought today, there is a big difference when friend tells you things that are going on like day to day then when someone tries to tell you something that happened sometime before. I have told my friends and family what has been going on when I find out, not like "oh yeah and a year ago, he did this" and my mom and dad told me after all this he was a piece of sh/t, I didn't even have to go into detail about what all he has done. They saw it from the standpoint of me pretending all was ok. That's when you can really tell who was shi++y, do you have to tell people all the bad crap or do your friends and family tell YOU all the bad stuff that you couldn't even see!

God I feel like my heart and my insides and my emotions are hamburger meat.

OVER, thanks for reading my long as always postings
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