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And everything is in motion.A attorney accepted to take the case on pro bono based on income thank god. They are sending me paperwork to fill out and then I will have an apointment with them and then papers will be filled. I dont really know how I feel, I thought a huge weight would be lifted but I really dont think it has. Not to mention I have a whole other issue that I dont know how to tackle. They suggested that I put a PPO on him based on his temper and other actions including the fact that he has guns and when he gets served Im scared of what he would do. But then that means that I deny him time with Shyann which I have been trying not to do not to mention he is the one who watches her when I work and with the PPO in place he cannot see her because he would be in contempt of that order and would go to jail. I dont want to do that to him but I dont want him to freak when he gets served either especially if it happens when she is in his care.
I just dont know what to do about that, I feel so torn because I dont want to be the b***h who denys him to see his child but I dont want to take the chance that he freaks out and does something bad.
First of all, is there a legitimate reason for the PPO? Has he threatened you, abused you or anything to merit that step? If not, then why would you even consider that an option? If he has, then it's your duty to protect yourself and your daughter and you should definitely find other childcare and get a PPO. Just having guns is not a reason to get one though...nor is having a temper. He has to have done SOMETHING to warrant that step.
I cant say that he has ever hurt me, he has raised his hands to me and it gets to the point where I dont know what he would do if he got mad enough. He did hit Shy which kinda helped me make the decision to go. He says he didnt hit her hard but she screamed bloody murder and even the guy at legal aid questioned why anyone would hit a baby just for being fussy.
I havent done it yet and I dont know if I will Im not really sure what to do in this case. That was the only time hes ever touched her but there was an instance with the ex where a PPO was placed so I just dont know.
Well, I'm with the guy from legal aid...why would ANYONE hit a BABY????
I guess my take on this is if you're afraid of him, go for it. Don't worry about his parental rights so much as your daughter's rights not to be hit and your rights to feel safe. I would give him an out--if he takes anger management classes for 6 months and agrees to get rid of the guns, then you will reconsider the PPO. Make him show you that he does understand he has a problem and he is willing to work on it. Guns have no place around kids anyway.
If you think you're just feeling uncomfortable because of the divorce--which is also normal--then just let it go. I would still try to get him into anger management classes just because he IS going to be around your daughter and she is from time to time going to be crabby and difficult--that's the nature of the beast when it comes to kids. If he hits her again though, I would not give him another chance.
I hope that helps.