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Pregnant, Alone and Scared


Forum: Divorce and Separation

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  #1  
April 29th, 2010, 08:00 AM
KarenHaley's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Grand Rapids, MI
Posts: 316
My fiance broke up with me last night. I was told by his sister that he was cheating on me with his ex. I asked him about it. We had a long conversation to which he denied everything and put a spin on it all saying that his ex will always cause drama and so on. It wasn't a heated conversation, we talked normally and even laughed a little. I felt sort of silly and I knew that just from what they had told me I was not going to be able to leave him, even if in my gut I felt something was there. At the end of the conversation he said that this drama was going to keep coming back as long as he was with me so it was time for us to live our seperate lives. And then he started whistling like nothing was wrong, took a shower, and left our apartment. I didn't let myself cry in front of him, but I feel like I've been torn into a million tiny pieces. I have no where to go now. I am 6 months pregnant with a little girl. I can't support myself, how can I support two? I have no friends, I was kicked out of my parents house when they found out I was pregnant. I'm really scared. I still can't believe this has happened. He was everything to me. I wanted to be with him so badly and he can just walk away so easily.

And now, now I have to have this baby all by myself. How can I let him be there but how can I not? And her name, I picked Natalie because that was what he wanted. How can I keep that name now? I don't want to do this alone. I need help. I don't want to tell anyone what is happening to me because if I talk about it then it seems more real.
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  #2  
April 29th, 2010, 02:50 PM
KrazE's Avatar ShutTheFrontDoor
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 2,546
I'm sorry that you are going through this, it's certainly not an easy thing at all.

Have you talked to your parents since things went badly after you told them you were pregnant?

Is it possible that they may let you come back at all?

If none of that is possible, you can find emergency shelter somewhere, check your local phone book to see and/or what other programs are in your area that you would qualify for (food stamps etc). I am in Canada so it's different here & I'm not really able to provide you with the names of things in the USA very well but I am certain there are a number of gals on here that will be able to give you more info.

It appears to me that his actions show that he's lying, that he has been cheating since he is trying to place blame in your direction instead.
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  #3  
April 30th, 2010, 07:24 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Florida
Posts: 2,091
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If someone can walk away from you THAT EASILY, he was never going to be there for you to begin with. I know it hurts like heII right now and it seems like everything is just crumbling around you but I promise you the day will come when you KNOW you are much better off! He will still have to pay child support for your daughter and you can name her WHATEVER you want to! It's going to be hard, I won't lie to you. But it isn't impossible and you will be stronger for it. Your parents love you and they will most likely put their feelings aside and they will love their granddaughter too. Give them a chance to get over it. As far as him being there, he sounds like the kind of immature person who would not be there anyway. You deserve better than him. I wouldn't tell him until after the baby is born. Above all else, DO NOT take him back! I promise you if you do, you will regret it. He is abusive and controlling and most likely a cheater. You deserve better than that. Let him know it.
I hope things work out for you. I know how this has hurt you but remember--Not all men are this heartless and cruel. There are some wonderful guys out there who will love you and your precious baby girl and treat you both with love and respect. Hold out for one of those!
HUGS!
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  #4  
April 30th, 2010, 11:25 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: none
Posts: 1,133
Awe, Sweetie! I have recently been in your shoes...it's hard! My opinion is this....that was a line of bs that he told you about his 'reason' for leaving. First of all, someone can only cause drama if another person ALLOWS it.

Let him go...and grieve the loss of your dreams and ideas of 'together,' that your little girl will not have both parents living under one roof together-at least for now. I know right know at this very moment, it feels like too much....How am I going to do this?.... or how am I going to do that?....CAN I do this?....What if (insert subject of fear here.)

You are going to do it, and you are going to do great. You'll do it because you have to, whatever you have to do all for your little girl. You are going to be great! You will see. Once she is here...and you look into those little eyes of hers, you find strength beyond belief to get through ANY task or mountain you are faced with. My ex left me 5 weeks after #4 and THEN I went through another pregnancy completely alone. The youngest baby is 8 months now....we are doing well...and so are all FIVE kids! LOL!

Maybe start looking into shelters...they can help you get a place of your own-in time for her arrival. How exciting!

OH! And pick out YOUR OWN name choice for your princess!

HUGS!
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  #5  
May 2nd, 2010, 12:25 AM
jojo1207's Avatar Ayla 11/8/10
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Southern California
Posts: 2,716
You can come live with me out in sunny California. My hubby is on his way out (we're separating) and I'm pregnant too. We have a spare room downstairs. If you help me with childcare so I can work (I work at home) that's a fair trade until you can get on your feet. And Natalie is a beautiful name but if you don't like it, name your baby girl whatever you like! This daddy might still come around - a lot of guys act stupid when they don't know what to do, but if he's cheating, you really don't want that anyway.
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Jo (34), Christian(14), Xander(6), Xya(5), & Sophia(3), & Ayla 11/8/10! ~
~ "Remember, you're not managing an inconvenience. You're raising a human being." -Kittie Franz~


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  #6  
May 7th, 2010, 12:15 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 8,999
I'm late to this but here's my take:

He is cheating but he's a coward & turning it around so you're the bad guy.

Let him go you deserve better.
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My 2 miracles: Lucinda & Noah
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