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I have joint custody with my son's "father".But he rarely has anything to do with him.My son doesn't even ask about him most of the time.He lives in a motel room,never has any food for my son,and is always passed out or just sleeps when he is over there.So basically my 6 year old takes care of himself (which has actually always been the case).Then his "father" will call whenever he wants expecting us to drop everything and bring Damien over there whether he wants to go or not.
If you have a court order, then yes.
If your ex is passed out (from drinking?) or your child is going without proper care, then you need proof (just your word will not do anything) to have the court order modified.
If you truly believe your child is in danger, then do something about it; you cannot just unilaterally cut off court ordered visitation on something you cannot prove - it will reflect negatively on you instead.
Get your child talking or acting out things in counseling if it's serious-or request a guardian ad litem for your child...someone that is a neutral party and in the best interest of the child (according to the courts) would be a start, anyway.
It's sad and it stinks, but without any proof or a neutral party involved on your child's behalf, your just making accusations, know what I mean?
Yep. Both KrazE and Hope are right. You need proof and until you have it and have done something LEGALLY to prevent him from getting your son, you have no choice. It isn't fair...it's infuriating that he is such an irresponsible father but you don't want to get in trouble by not allowing visits when legally you haven't done anything to stop him from gaining access to your child. It WILL make you look bad and in the end will taint anything you get to back up your claims.