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Forum: Divorce and Separation

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  #1  
August 30th, 2010, 02:15 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: New Orleans
Posts: 2,162
Husband and I have been separated since Aug 2008... I had to wait a year to file for divorce. I am going to the local legal aid office, because I cannot afford to get a private attorney. I feel like NOTHING is happening!!!! It took forever to get an appointment, forever for them to actually do anything. And then when they did draw up everything, they said I needed to pay $400, which I did not have. So I was going to wait until the ex filed his taxes (and he owes thousands in child support, so I was hoping his refund would be garnished and I would get the $ sent to me), then I'd pay for the divorce. Well, apparently when he worked in 2009, he did his W2's or whatever so that he wouldn't get taxes taken out, and he wouldn't get a tax refund or whatever!!!!! What a freakin a hole!!!!

He has not paid me a cent since he was court ordered to pay child support (Well he did pay $190 the 2nd time we went to court ... I guess only so they wouldn't put him in jail). He missed the 3rd court date, and they issued a warrant. They said the only way we can continue with the case is if he comes in to have his warrant revoked, then they will set another court date. Well, there is no way he is doing that, because he already has like 4 or 5 other warrants!!!

When we separated, my son was 9 months old, he's about to be 3. He has seen him twice since then. Actually the last time he was in town, I brought my son to his grandma's... well he asked us to leave, because he said it was too hard on him seeing his son!!! WOW. I have not even heard from him for almost a year, and he has everything under his girlfriend's name so no one can find him. I am so frustrated b/c I just want to be divorced!!!!!

I don't know how to or if I can claim abandonment... I didn't notify the legal aid office that I moved, so at my last appointment about 3 months ago, my lawyer got angry and said she'd call me when she "fixed this." I have not received a call...

I was going to invite his family to my son's bday party, because I don't mind them. But I just found out he's living with his mom, and she has been lying saying she has no idea where he is, and if she knew, she'd tell me, because she thinks it's wrong that he hasn't sent any money. I also do NOT want him at the party... and so I decided I'm not inviting his family, because they will bring him. Is this wrong of me???? Idk ... I'm just so frustrated and tired of all this...

Sorry so long!!! thanks if you read it all, lol
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  #2  
August 30th, 2010, 05:28 PM
KrazE's Avatar ShutTheFrontDoor
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 2,546
Ok, so I had a look for your state (based on your profile) and you live in a No Fault state - you can file after the one year, and even do it yourself.
Of course there is a fee involved, but I did find this site:

Divorce Documents - State Divorce Forms

It contains forms for the states that allow you to represent yourself (from what I gather). It looks like it's about $200 to file and $150 each time after - would he want an uncontested divorce? (no assets or debts to split?).

Since it appears that you have the custody/support portion over with, then it _should_ be an easy direction for you to take. Also, since he had warrants, unless he wants to be put in jail and also have to start paying up for your child, he probably wouldn't even respond to the filing.

Hope that helps!
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  #3  
August 31st, 2010, 07:55 AM
sunshine411's Avatar Let's go MAVS!!!!
Join Date: Apr 2009
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Just wanted to say that I did my own divorce about 5 years ago without a lawyer. I filed and it took about a year to go through, because he wouldn't sign the papers, but eventually his lawyer got him to sign them. His lawyer pointed out that he couldn't just not divorce me. If I wanted one, eventually I was going to get one and the courts would grant it. He couldn't make me stay married to him.

You will have to file it all yourself, but it only ended up costing me about $250 total. I had to read a fill in the blank form from the law library to the judge and then he granted it. My ex wasn't even there. We didn't have any assets to split and the TX Attorney General took over child support once it was ordered by my divorce decree. (not that they do anything, but that's a whole other story.)

You can do it yourself and there are alot of programs online. If your legal aid lawyer has already written up the divorce, just take it and file it with the county clerk, have him served and get a court date set to have it finalized. The law library should be able to help to you with everything you need. It's overwhelming and scary, but it can be done.

Good luck.
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  #4  
August 31st, 2010, 09:53 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: New Orleans
Posts: 2,162
Well, I have already filed... they just can't serve him the papers b/c I have no address on him.... and then since I didn't notify them of my change of address she said "I'll call you when I have everything sorted out." and hasn't.... so i dont know if I can file again?!?
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  #5  
August 31st, 2010, 12:51 PM
sunshine411's Avatar Let's go MAVS!!!!
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hmm well in that case I would keep calling and leaving messages every couple of days. If you need to, pay to have him served. All you need to do is find out where he will be at a certain time and then have someone serve him. So if you know he is at his mom's say every Sunday or something, get someone to serve him there. It doesn't have to be where he lives.
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  #6  
October 1st, 2010, 07:16 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: New Orleans
Posts: 2,162
So I THINK I found out where he is staying. At least which apt complex. So I called my attorney, and I went and signed all the papers again and gave her the address. She said... she'll serve him... I haven't heard anything =( I hope they can figure out which apartment he is in, b/c he is staying with his mom. (Whose name is spelled wrong in whitepages!!!! On purpose to hide him...????) Ahhh, I just want this to be over with =(

I don't want my attorney to think I'm being pushy or impatient... but should I call to check on the status of everything?? I really want to know what's going on!!! It has been about 3 weeks.
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  #7  
October 1st, 2010, 07:22 PM
KrazE's Avatar ShutTheFrontDoor
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 2,546
Call, you're the one paying for the lawyer to work, and you expect results.
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  #8  
October 1st, 2010, 08:02 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: New Orleans
Posts: 2,162
Well, actually, I'm going through Legal Aid, so I'm not paying, lol... and since I am a full-time college student, she is trying to have me claim pauper status so my soon to be ex will have to pay all the fees. Sooo, I feel like I shouldn't expect the same treatment as if I am actually paying, you know =/ =(
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  #9  
October 3rd, 2010, 06:16 AM
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Location: Kentucky
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Send a message via AIM to mommy2lilman Send a message via Yahoo to mommy2lilman
Just wanted to say hope everything goes through for you.
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  #10  
October 3rd, 2010, 03:15 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: New Orleans
Posts: 2,162
thank you =)
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  #11  
October 4th, 2010, 03:10 AM
demumbran0516's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 337
It doesn't matter if you are paying her or not. Bug her! The only person who is going to really care about your divorce is you. Make it happen! Good Luck. Ive been though the same thing with not being able to serve him. I had to run it in the paper for a month, and once it was ran he had 4 weeks to respond. Once he didn't, they granted my divorce 30 days later.
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  #12  
October 4th, 2010, 01:14 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: New Orleans
Posts: 2,162
ooh thats cool!!! ^^^^

I just got a letter saying I have a court date set in Nov. for the child support case!!!!! Wow, things are happening. I'm excited!

Oh and I just called legal aid and left a msg!!!. H
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