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Full custody questions and advice needed


Forum: Divorce and Separation

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  #1  
September 11th, 2010, 06:44 AM
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I'm filing for full custody and could use some advice of what to have put in the orders.

I already have: must come see Frederick in ky to visit him, no overnights with him, can't leave the state of ky with him, no picking him up from preschool, must give advance notice if he wants to see him on a non court appointed day, no taking him out of Jefferson county, he will provide clothes/pull ups for his visitation, own carseat, he will cover all travel cost since I'm a full time student with no c/s or $.
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  #2  
September 11th, 2010, 07:43 AM
KrazE's Avatar ShutTheFrontDoor
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mommy2lilman View Post
I'm filing for full custody and could use some advice of what to have put in the orders.

I already have: must come see Frederick in ky to visit him, no overnights with him, can't leave the state of ky with him, no picking him up from preschool, must give advance notice if he wants to see him on a non court appointed day, no taking him out of Jefferson county, he will provide clothes/pull ups for his visitation, own carseat, he will cover all travel cost since I'm a full time student with no c/s or $.
What you need to add are things like "without prior written consent", you want the court to see you as being reasonable.
Be direct on "advance notice" as it can be taken to mean anything - say something like "no less than 24 hours notice" and that it would be at "your discretion"
Also find out if you need a clause that covers police involvement - out here the police will not get involved even with a final custody order BECAUSE the order does not give the police the 'OK' (basically) to be involved unless the non-custodial parent has broken any actual chargeable laws (I hope that makes sense)

Good luck!
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  #3  
October 12th, 2010, 07:01 PM
Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KrazE View Post
What you need to add are things like "without prior written consent", you want the court to see you as being reasonable.
Be direct on "advance notice" as it can be taken to mean anything - say something like "no less than 24 hours notice" and that it would be at "your discretion"
Also find out if you need a clause that covers police involvement - out here the police will not get involved even with a final custody order BECAUSE the order does not give the police the 'OK' (basically) to be involved unless the non-custodial parent has broken any actual chargeable laws (I hope that makes sense)

Good luck!
thanks for that. . He actually thinks he's going to get 2 months of visitation consecutively? Honestly. Really. He's already lied to his commanding officer, me, and the c/s office as well.
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  #4  
October 12th, 2010, 07:34 PM
KrazE's Avatar ShutTheFrontDoor
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mommy2lilman View Post
thanks for that. . He actually thinks he's going to get 2 months of visitation consecutively? Honestly. Really. He's already lied to his commanding officer, me, and the c/s office as well.
Sometimes that is possible during summer holidays, but a month would be the most common length to be fair to both parents with a 2nd weekend visitation - for example, if he had them for the month of July, you would get 2 weekends of visitation; otherwise the kids are primarily with you.

Also, there is this magical 60/40 child support clause - if you have the children 60% or more of the time, then he will have to pay the full child support amount (along with percentages of extra items, medical etc etc). Once that number dwindles, then his support requirement starts to drop; it sounds to me that he is trying to get around the 60/40 to reduce his payable amount.
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  #5  
October 13th, 2010, 03:05 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KrazE View Post
Sometimes that is possible during summer holidays, but a month would be the most common length to be fair to both parents with a 2nd weekend visitation - for example, if he had them for the month of July, you would get 2 weekends of visitation; otherwise the kids are primarily with you.

Also, there is this magical 60/40 child support clause - if you have the children 60% or more of the time, then he will have to pay the full child support amount (along with percentages of extra items, medical etc etc). Once that number dwindles, then his support requirement starts to drop; it sounds to me that he is trying to get around the 60/40 to reduce his payable amount.
Yeah. I'm thinking it does boil down to money for him. I know Frederick will freak though if I'm not around. I've been the only constant in his life. I am asking for him to have to come up here to Kentucky until little man is 6.

I did that for 2 reasons. One Martin's schedule is so hectic he could walk into work and that same day he has to fly out for any length from a week to several months. It's a matter of hours. He has no family in Florida. No one to watch Frederick.

The second is, Martin didn't always provide for him like he should have.
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  #6  
October 13th, 2010, 01:37 PM
KrazE's Avatar ShutTheFrontDoor
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Originally Posted by mommy2lilman View Post
Yeah. I'm thinking it does boil down to money for him. I know Frederick will freak though if I'm not around. I've been the only constant in his life. I am asking for him to have to come up here to Kentucky until little man is 6.

I did that for 2 reasons. One Martin's schedule is so hectic he could walk into work and that same day he has to fly out for any length from a week to several months. It's a matter of hours. He has no family in Florida. No one to watch Frederick.

The second is, Martin didn't always provide for him like he should have.
Make certain that you have this clearly documented AND do everything in your power to provide examples with dates etc - this will go towards the burden of proof that it is not the best situation.

In addition, it is possible that he could come prepared with child care solutions for those types of last minute work needs, but the reality of the situation is that he has not been an involved parent.

You may end up with a more open order that would stipulate his travelling to slowly integrate himself into your child's life, but what he thinks he'll get, I really don't see happening.

Ensure that you cover all your bases - child support, child care costs, extra-ordinary costs, medical, dental, that he have life insurance with the child benefiting from that in the event that something happens to him.

Cover mobility clauses that do not bind you to living in one location, cover the need for prior written consent from you for travelling further than X miles from your place of residence (or town or city).

Sit down & consider everything, even college!

It's best to cover it all now then it is to have to keep going back to court to change an order.
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  #7  
October 16th, 2010, 04:18 PM
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Thanks for all of that. It's tons of info. Wow. And sad thing- he's 'known' for two weeks we haven't been getting money and he hasn't sent a dime.
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