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Unfortunately I am typing 'welcome to the board' to you; but then again, sometimes changes like this can be good for people, so in some ways it may be a good thing.
As to your concerns; try & see if your DH will commit to something in writing that is in the best interest of your son in hopes to avoid a battle. If battling is all your DH knows, that may be why he responded that way, he may be unable to see the trees for the forest.