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Forum: Divorce and Separation

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  #1  
November 23rd, 2010, 04:39 AM
~Ivy~'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: The Desert
Posts: 1,989
Hey everyone. I suddenly find myself separated from my husband of 11 years.

The whole thing is a very long story, I'll try to write it out sometime.

I'm having a hard time. I'm not eating or sleeping much, i'm depressed, I cry all the time.

Shouldn't I just move on? I mean, he says that he's not 100% sure about a divorce yet, but he left. He's gone. Shouldn't I hate him? Why do I want him back? Why did I beg him to take me back? OMG I have no more pride left.

Anyways, I'm a mess. I know I need to pick myself up but I simply can't. How do you do it?
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  #2  
November 23rd, 2010, 06:39 PM
KrazE's Avatar ShutTheFrontDoor
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 2,546
You take it one day at a time, and find the positive things that you have in life - because even from the angle you're at right now, there ARE positive things for you to look towards.

The depression is a normal phase, and you may want to see your doctor to find out if there is anything you may need to help you along; no-one can expect you to simply pick up the pieces and move on if you do not feel able to without help.

I'm certainly not saying that you have to take meds as some do not need it. I never took any because my depression was stress related - it took time to get past a lot of it, and it's always a battle for the most part, but it can be done. You can sense for yourself what you think you may need, and if that is meds to help, then go for it; you're not a lesser person because of it.

Make yourself some manageable daily goals even if it's as small as getting out of bed, cleaning, groceries - whatever it needs to be, just make them manageable so you don't put expectations on yourself that you may not be able to meet, only further dragging yourself down because of it.

I'm not going to lie to you & tell you it's easy, because it really isn't. And everyone has different strengths or methods to get from A to B, but you are strong even of you don't believe it right now.

Keep your chin up!
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  #3  
November 26th, 2010, 10:32 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 9,027
(((hugs)))) it takes time. You can't just get over it. You have to go through the process. Have you considered counseling? It really helped me a lot when I went through my divorces. I also went on an anti-depressant for a while. It was just like 6-8 months but it really helped me get through the tough spots.

And like Kraze said - one day at a time. Sometimes 1 minute at a time.

It does get better I promise!
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My 2 miracles: Lucinda & Noah
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  #4  
November 30th, 2010, 02:35 PM
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Ohio
Posts: 15
I'm going through a divorce right now from my husband of five years. We have two boys together. It's really a mess right now because after he left me I met a wonderful, wonderful man who loves me and loves my boys. My ex rarely sees them, but now i just found out i'm pregnant. Soooo, kinda a mess. But it does get better. It just takes forever. I was a mess for a loooong time. But i pick my self up and make my babies life the best it can be because they are the only things that matter.
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  #5  
December 6th, 2010, 06:48 PM
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Northern NJ
Posts: 14
Like the other gals said, take one day at a time. I haven't gone thru a divorce but was with a man for 8yrs and we have a daughter together & recently broke up. It has been a tough road, but everyday it gets easier & I am finally starting to see there is more to life then just him. Hang in there, ****HUGS*****
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