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Very sad to be joining you all...(be prepared for a saga)


Forum: Divorce and Separation

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  #1  
January 16th, 2011, 09:18 PM
Bedazzled's Avatar Mommy to my own superhero
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Florida
Posts: 8,738
So I'm not sure how regularly I will post here...DH and I just seperated last week and it hurts to think about it....but here's my story.

After 8 years together (1/3 of my life...we got together at 16/17) and 5 years of marriage (next month) it's over Obviously this is not what I want.
I'm feeling so heartbroken, hopeless and depressed right now. I don't know how I'm going to go on. I never ever imagined this would happen to us. We both have very strong values about marriage....we have never been with anyone else....we met young and got married at 19/20. Things are horrible right now....he pretty much hates me and won't talk except through email or text.
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Last edited by Bedazzled; January 26th, 2011 at 07:27 PM.
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  #2  
January 16th, 2011, 10:36 PM
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 46
Well,

take a deep breath. I can say I have had issues in my marriage that have caused me to question if I could continue. One thing I will say is a lawyer, a judge or a mediator splits custody. Are you comfortable leaving your child with someone that is battling an addiction? There are no limits to searching for a means to get the medication and the mood swings that follow after.

If he is angry, etc with you it is more likely he is mad at himself and you are a reminder that he broke promises and his marriage due to his addiction. You don't want someone you cannot count on. Counseling for yourself to get you to trust again, and rebuild your life is imperative. Best of Luck and lots of hugs-
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  #3  
January 22nd, 2011, 08:22 PM
KrazE's Avatar ShutTheFrontDoor
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 2,546
If you can work together to co-parent your child without having to involve a judge, then go with it.
Not every situation needs to be decided by a judge; you can make co-parenting agreements into a court order as long as you have covered all the important information AND it's in the best interest of the child.

Had his addiction prevented him from being a good parent? When you were still together, did you leave your child alone with him even though you were aware of the addiction? If so, trying to pull the "he's an addict so the child isn't safe with him" line is not going to get you very far.

Working out the needs of children in an amicable manner is the best option first & foremost and only when that is not possible should you move to starting all out court proceedings that cost far more than most people realize.

Best of luck to you.
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